Abolishing the Wage System
Aborting babies
Absolution
Abstractions
Acetylene virgins
Accusing history
Anal
Android romances
Anthrax
Anticipating the death of Margaret Thatcher
Anorexia
Apathy and other virtues
Arguing constantly
Arranging
Art school
Articulating boredom
Asceticism
Asking God why he likes dead animals so much
Asking where the ducks go in the winter
Atonement
Attempting Suicide
Attracting Lust, Vice, and Sin
Attrition
Awkward Silences
Ballerinas
Beer
Being a lay-a-bout
Being a sexual deviant
Being a spokesperson for my generation
Being a twat
Being comfortably numb
Being completely inappropriate
Being depraved because I'm deprived
Being fake
Being fucked and fucking too
Being greeted with cries of hate
Being high on diesel gasoline
Being in control
Being lied to
Being lost-in-the supermarket
Being nocturnal
Being Patrick Bateman
Being stronger than Mensa, Miller, and Mailer
Being surreptitious
Being the last junkie on earth
Being the scapegoat
Being the victim and the murderer
Being willing to learn, when I decide I'm a fool
Believing in Narcissus
Bible, The Holy
Black and White Television
Blending in seamlessly
Bolshevism
Bondage, Domination, Sadism, and Masochism
Bourgeois lifesteyles
Breaking hearts slowly
British prime ministers and their pornographic affairs
Britney's fat slobbery tears
Bronzing my thighs
Building arks
Bulimia
Bundy, Ted
Burning for you
Burning the bridge at both ends
Buying hand-jobs
Calling Wire at 3 AM to talk about infomercials
Ceasing to exist
Chaos Theory
Cheap dreams
Chemical bliss
Chemical smiles
Chemical romances
Cherry flavoured antacids
Choking
Cleaning
Closing the goddamn door
Cocaine Socialism
Coming from God knows where
Consuming blindly
Crawling sideways
Crosses
Crucifixation
Crying in cars
Crying naked
Cult of Personality, The
Culture, Alienation, Boredom, and Despair
Cutting my flesh
Cutting off my ear
Dahmer, Jeffrey
Depravity
Deranging innocence
Despairing over calories
Destroying evidence
Destroying myself
Dissecting girls
Doing it so it feels like hell
Domination
Drawing
Drinking
Drinking more
Drinking piss
Drowning
Dying in the summertime
Dying on the stairs
Eating in the sin
Eating the flesh of the living
Eating roses
Eating souls
Economics
Electromagnetism
Engaging in lewd sex with unwed teenage mothers
Enola Gay, and not just because it's alone backwards, but because I like getting bombed
Epic Poetry
Erectal dysfunction
Euthanasia
Everlasting emptiness of life, The
Existentialism
Exercising sensitivity
Faggotry
Falling in love with my own reflection
Fasting
Fat men
Finding everything just out of reach like a modern day Tantalus
Finding self harm sexual and attractive
Finding sex quite crushingly dull
Fitting in
Flickering
Flowers
Flying too close to the sun
Following
Foreign Films
Forgetting to take my meds
French
Fucking awful art parties
Furiously hammering upon my genitalia
Gacy, John Wayne
Gein, Ed
Getting naked
Getting off on car-crashes
Giving anything but love
Giving you children
God
Going into the abyss
Gratuitous sex
Grey
Guevara, Ernesto Che
Hanging on a wire
Having a cancerous tumor growing on the side of my neck like a little second head, coincidentally named Bob
Having a heart
Having nobody
Having street spirit
Having wax-like mendability
Hearts
Herbalism
Heroin
Heroines
Hiroshima because I wanted my shadow etched on a wall too
HIV and Starbucks
Holocaust because it didn't really happen, The
Hoping that Michael Stipe goes the same way as Freddy Mercury
Humanities
Ignoring friends
Imposing my cruel reign upon The Smurfs, as Gargamel
Inciting jealousy
Incompetance
Incontinence
Inflicting pain
Insipidness
It's all empty
Izzard, Eddie
Japanese kamikaze fighter pilots
Jesus Herman Christ
Joining cults
Judas Iscariot
Judging m'self
Jumping to conclusions
Jury tampering
Kate and Kristen and Kit-kat
Kids who didn't have a high enough grade point average in high school who were declined from
Harvard and forced to go to Brown.
Killing the Zeitgeist
King of hearts because he's committing suicide, The
Kissing open sores
Kissing strangers
Knowing my rights
Knowing what Katie did
Lacking moral guidance
Latin
Learning
Learning to fly
Lifeless automations
Lifeless existences
Light
Listening to Geddy Lee screech like some sort of Harpy or Siren from The Illiad
Little boys
Living life in a concrete bunker
Living life like a comatose
Living underwater
Looking vacant
Loudly proclaiming my brilliance
Love tearing us apart
Love's sweet exile
Magdalene, Mary
Making pretentious claims
Malenkov's chin fat
Managing somehow
Manson, Charles
Manually masturbating a Clydesdale
Masturbating openly
McCarthy, Joseph R. Sen.
Measuring my life with beer bottles
Misogynistic feminism
Missing my virginity
Molecular breakdown of glucose via yeast digestion
Molestation
Myself
Nader, Ralph
Nagasaki, because it's fun to say
Napalm in the morning
Napalm stars
Narcotics
Nature
Never hallucinating
Night
Nihilism and other self righteous garbage
Nixon, Richard
Not answering calls
Not being misunderstood
Not being shy
Not getting enough
Not knowing what love is
Not leaving footprints
Not talking about love
Nuclear weapons and other love affairs of the mid to late twentieth century
Offering no excuse for my blatant disregard of the word "tact"
Often unrecognizable references to David Bowie's package in the movie "Labyrinth"
Operating heavy machinery while intoxicated
Operating on the basis that I will die as I live, alone
Opium based painkillers
Ordering ketchup from the drive thru
Organizing
Ottoman Empire, The
Painting
Parking near bridges
Passing out on the bathroom floor
Peeling skin back
Penis Envy
Perry, Steve, being my wife someday
Physics
Picking flowers
Planting evidence
Pleading for a lobotomy
Pol Pot's genocidal romance
Political Science
Popularising Hitler's mustache again
Pornography and tragedy
Postponing dinner until after my erection
Practicising homosexuality
Praying for death
Prescription drugs
Pretending to be women who killed themselves, like Ophelia, or Sylvia Plath
Prettying my face with all this cream and stuff
Princip, Gavrilo
Puking
Pulling my fingernails out
Purity
Pushing things forward
Quaaludes
Quality revenge at last
Quantifying the amount of people who should cease to exist
Quantum Physics
Quarks
Queefing more than any man rightly should
Queen Mother's bionic appendages, The
Queer Guys
Quiet days in the woods
Racing lobsters
Raining down alienation
Ranting
Rationing Bread to Communist Poland
Razorblade romances
Reading
Realising that Rupert Murdoch is quite possibly the sexiest man alive
Rebecca Riots
Referencing obscure shit
Regurgitating Mcdonald's quarter pounders into the gaping, awaiting mouth of Bill Clinton
like a mama bird feeding it's young
Reimbursing Jesus for my sin
Relativity
Relying heavily on wit
Remembering nothing
Removing my pants in public
Removing your spleen and eating it
Retreating into self-pity
Revelation and Revolution
Robotic demon orgies
Rocking the casbah
Rocking out to Journey
Roman emperors
Roman Gods
Roses in the hospital
Ruining other's self-esteem
Running like hell
Russian tsars
Sabotaging my own happiness
Sacrificing two young pigeons or two turtledoves one as a sin offering and the other as a
wave offering to Walter Mondale: for he is the LORD
Saying yes
Seared flesh
Self-inflicted gun shot wounds
Selling my soul on EBAY
Selling truth
Serial killing
Setting controls for the heat of the sun
Sighing without a sense of feeling
Singing
Sleeping with common people
Smiling Sadistically
Snorting coke happily
Sodomy, sodomy, sodomy!
Sordid sexual encounters with underage boys via Myspace
Spawning a whole new generation of Mogwai-like beasts to rule as my mutant army
Specialising in revenge
Spilling the steaming bloody entrails of a male calf in it's first year as a burnt offering
to Khrushchev on the synagogue floor
Spitting out Plath and Pinter
Sporting a tweed jacket with denim elbow patches like a good natured Oxford professor
Stars
Staying a fixed ideal
Staying Beautiful
Stealing
Straightening
String Theory
Sucking cock
Supplying pre-teens with cocaine
Surface reflections
Surfing this beach
Surpressed screams
Surrealist Painters
Surrogate sex
Survival
Surviving by the skin of my teeth
Swearing at children
Sweating to the oldies
Talking out of my ass
Talking to myself
Talking with poison
Teenage girls with pretentious screen names
Televangelism (
Tempting fate
Terminal diseases
Terminal young things
Terrorising Generations
Thanking God for Esteban
Theology
Theorising
Thinking about your butt
Thriving in awkward silence
Throwing away the key
Time and distance between us, The
Torturing animals
Train tracks that go nowhere
Transporting narcotics in my smooth, slippery anal cavity
Unfairly judging your bloated gut, fatty
Unions
Unpacking bags for the last time
Ursa Major
Ursa Minor
Usurping kingdoms
Utilising every means necessary, they will justified in the end
Vandalising national monuments with phallic imagery
Vanishing without notice
Vanity, Destruction, and Isolation
Vapid self loathing
Violating restraining orders
Violin Music
Virgin Mary, The
Vomiting on the Tilt-a-Whirl
Waiting for the flood
Waking up early (round 7:30)
Walking in the snow
Waltzing around the issue at hand
Wearing the nipple flesh of recently unearthed women as a makeshift mask
Weighing four stone seven
White Anglo-Saxon Protestants
White Zinfandel and suicide
Wincing at your pleasure
Wishing you were here
Wondering what your head would look like on a stick
Words of euthanasia
Working for joy-on-overtime
Worshipping golden calves
Writhing in agony
Writing
Xanax
Xenon
Xenophobes
Xeroxing copies of my ass to meméré
Xerxes
Yearning for razorblades
Yeast infections
Yellow Roses
Yeltsin, Boris
Your slow and painful death
Yugoslavia
Zeitgeist, The
Zepruder's masturbatory cinema
Zeroing in on exposed cleavage
Zipping up bodybags
Zombies
I'd like to meet:
The exchanging of pleasantries is so honestly dreadful; there's nothing pleasant about them, nor is there anything honest about them either. Whenever one has something unpleasant to say one should always speak quite candidly. How I wish to unmask this costume ball in which we so live, there is no time for wearing the shallow mask of manners. I find that the more vulgar I act, the more refined my thoughts become. I wouldn't want to be refined though, refinement is so unbecoming on a person. Vulgar things are so beautiful. I have adopted a strictly immoral attitude towards life, though I am not quite old enough to do so.
That is why I love liars, they are the only honest people left in this world! Furthermore, I abhore honest people, because you can never tell when they are lying. The truth is purely and simply despicable because it is so rarely pure and never simple. It is very painful for me to be forced to speak the truth, I have never been reduced to such as position and I am really quite inexperienced in doing anything of the kind. When I see good qualities, I can only ever think of the bad qualities which they are hiding, and I'm thankful that I only have bad qualities. This is how I have come to know that anyone who talks at great length about anything, is obviously hiding something.
I always say what I mean, but I never mean what I say, although very often I mean things I don't say. Saying things of meaning is so serious, and nothing is serious these days, at least nothing should be. Especially marriage.
When one is in love, one always begins by deceiving one's self and one always ends by deceiving others, that is what this world calls romance. I have only ever engaged myself in one romance and that was the consequence of a misunderstanding between myself and a young woman.
Were I ever to engage myself into another romance it would have to be with an ugly woman, because all good looks are a snare that any sensible man would pleasure in being trapped in, and I am neither pleasurable nor am I sensible. One can never talk to sensible men about anything, therefore I am perfectly pessimistic because I wish always to satisfy.
Women are always conniving ways to win the love of men, but alas a man can only be happy with a woman so long as he does not love her; one can always be kind to people about whom one cares nothing.
Women on the other hand love us for our defects, if we have enough of them they will forgive us of everything, even our intellects. The only way a woman can reform a man is by boring him so completely that he loses all possible interest in life. Women, as some witty Frenchman one put it, inspire us with the desire to do masterpieces, and always prevent us from carrying them out.
I once wore nothing but violets all through one season as an artistic mourning for a romance that would not die. Ultimately, however, it did die. I forget what killed it. I think it was her proposing to sacrifice the whole world for me.
Always is such a dreadful word, I makes me shudder when I hear it. Women are so fond of using it. They spoil every romance by trying to make it last for ever. It is a meaningless word too. The only difference between a caprice and a lifelong passion is that the caprice lasts a little longer.
The worst thing of having romance of any kind is it leaves one so unromantic. It is very romantic to be in love, but there is nothing romantic about a definite proposal. The very essence of romance is uncertainty, if ever I get married, I’ll certainly try to forget the fact.
A cigarette on the other hand is the perfect type of perfect pleasure. It is exquisite, and it leaves one unsatisfied. What more can one ask for?
Please forgive me if you are taking me seriously, I'm only serious on Tuesdays between the hours of noon and two. People who are serious all the time are very funny, and people who are interesting all the time are very boring. So I hope that you don't find me interesting, because I'm not at all interested in you, and that's why I have come to adore you so.
I also hope that you don't expect me an intellectual, because only stupid people are smart enough to be intellectuals. It is a sad life to be smart enough to want something more for yourself and yet be so stupid that you are incapable of achieving such pompous goals. Therefore all my enemies are intellectuals, because they are so stupid. I try to be intelligent at all times because it's the only time I ever feel stupid, and I would far rather be stupid, because then I wouldn't have such arrogant desires. So let's have a philosophical debate and be stupid and arrogant together.
In the wild struggle between existance and temporarity we want something that will endure, so we fill our heads with rubbish and facts, in a silly hope of keeping our place.
Why would one want to be enduring anyway? If only life were shorter so I could have learned something from it by now!
Someone multi-lingual and dexterous with a vocal range of 7 octaves. Someone who can knit with machine-like precision and give moving oral presentations psychoanalyzing the major works of Dostoevsky. Someone who can recite the Bible in Aramaic, and actively works on art restoration ranging from Goya to Duchamp with deutsch accuracy. Someone who can stop the growth of their hair using only their mind and cry on command. Someone who breeds endangered species and can play croquet, chess, and hungry hungry hippos with prowess, knows Elizabethan fencing and can cook a delicious vegan four course meal in 30 minutes. Must be able to perform piano concertos and calligraph braille.
Music:
Anderson, Brett
Apple, Fiona
Barrett, Syd
Beatles, The
Beethoven, Ludwig Von
Big Audio Dynamite
Black, Frank
Blue Oyster Cult
Bon Jovi, Jon
Bowie, David
Bradfield, James Dean
Braid
British Sea Power
Buckley, Jeff
Cash, Johnny
Chao, Manu
City on Film, The
Clapton, Eric
Collins, Phil
Cougar Mellencamp, John
Cult, The
Cure, The
Death Cab for Cutie
Depeche Mode
Dire Straits
Doors
Drake, Nick
Elefante
Everly Brothers, The
Fischerspooner
Frank Black and The Catholics
Gabriel, Peter
Geesin, Ron
Genesis
Gilberto, Joao
Gravity Kills
Harper, Ben
Harrison, George
Heatmiser
Hey Mercedes
Idol, Billy
INXS
Isaak, Chris
Joel, Billy
John, Elton
Johnson, Jack
Journey
King Adora
Lennon, John
Liquid Tension Experiment
Lord, Mary Lou
Manic Street Preachers
Mann's Earth Band, Manfred
Marley, Bob
Mew
Miller Band, Steve
Mirah
Morrissey
Mozart, Wolfgang Amadeus
Muse
Nanna, Bob
New Order
Orbison, Roy
Ours
Pet shop boys
Petty, Tom
Pinewood Derby
Pink Floyd
Pixies, The
Placebo
Police, The
Pop, Iggy
Prefuse 73
PULP
Queen
Radiohead
Rasmus, The
Reed, Lou
Rush
Smith, Elliott
Smiths, The
Stabbing Westward
Suede
Tchaikovsky
Traveling Wilburys
T-Rex
Velvet Underground, The
Wainwright, Rufus
Wire, Nicky
Young, Neil
Movies:
Acid House, The
American Psycho
Apocalypse Now
Avalon
Battle Royale
Benny and Joon
Bladerunner
Boondock Saints, The
Brick
Brokeback Mountain
Capote
Castaway
Celestine Prophecy, The
Christiane F.
Clockwork Orange, A
Darkman
Documentaries
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
Fight Club
Four Rooms
From Hell
Harold and Maude
Heavenly Creatures
Highlander Series
Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, The
I
Ideal Husband, An
Importance of Being Ernest, The
Indiana Jones Series
Labyrinth
Less Than Zero
Machinist, The
Memento
NAKED by Mike Leigh
Neverending Story, The
One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest
Passion of the Christ
Permanent Midnight
Pirates of the Caribbean Series
Pride and Prejudice
Princess Bride, The
Quills
Reservoir Dogs
Royal Tenenbaums, The
Rules of Attraction, The
Saving Private Ryan
Scanner Darkly, A
Snatch
Spun
Star Wars Series
Suicide Club
Trainspotting
V For Vendetta
Velvet Goldmine
What the Bleep Do We Know?
Where the Buffalo Roam
Television:
Absolutely Fabulous
American Dad
Colbert Report, The
Daily Show, The
Discovery Channel
Family Guy
Futurama
Highlander
History Channel
Man VS. Wild
Monk
Princess Tutu
Psych
X-files, The
Young Ones, The
Books:
Abbott, Edwin
Flatland: A Romance of Many Dimensions
Adams, Douglas
Mostly Harmless
Anderson, Terry H.
Movement and the Sixties, The: Protest In America From Greensboro to Wounded Knee
Anonymous
Go Ask Alice
Asimov, Isaac
Complete Robot, The
Foundation
Robots of Dawn, The
Beckett, Samuel
Waiting For Godot
Bernard Shaw, George
Plays Unpleasant
Blum, William S.
Killing Hope: US Military and CIA Interventions Since World War II
Rogue State: A Guide to the World's Only Superpower
Brite, Poppy Z.
Exquisite Corpse
Lost Souls
Bukowski, Charles
Tales of Ordinary Madness
Burgess, Melvin
Smack
Burroughs, William S.
Junk, Junkie, Junky
Naked Lunch
Butler, Alban
Lives of the Saints
Camus, Albert
Fall,The
Happy Death, A
Myth of Sysiphus, The
Plague, The
Stranger, The
Chbosky, Stephen
Perks of Being a Wallflower, The
Chimo
Lila Says
Chomsky, Noam
What Uncle Sam Really Wants
9/11
Conrad, Joseph
Heart of Darkness
Cumming, Alan
Tommy's Tale
Darwin, Charles
Origin of the Species
de Saint-Exupéry, Antoine
Little Prince, The
Dickens, Charles
Great Expectations
Dickinson, Emily
Judge Tenderly Of Me
Laurel Poetry Series, The
Selected Poems of...
Dostoevsky, Fyodor
Brother Karamazov, The
Crime and Punishment
Notes From The Underground
Elliot, T.S.
Confidential Clerk, The
Wasteland, The
Ellis, Bret Easton
American Psycho
Less Than Zero
Rule of Attraction, The
Gardiner, Patrick
Kierkegaard
Goethe
Faust
Great Writings of...
Golden, Arthur
Memoirs of a Geisha
Greene, Brian
Elegant Universe, The
Fabric of the Cosmos, The
Hawking, Stephen
Universe in a Nutshell, The
Hayek F.A
Road to Serfdom, The
Heinlein, Robert A.
Citizen of the Galaxy
Stranger in a Strange Land
Heller, Joseph
Catch-22
Hemmingway, Ernest
Garden of Eden
Soldier's Home, A
Hesse, Herman
Beneath the Wheel
Demian
Fairy Tales of...
Knulp
Journey To The East
Narcissus and Goldmund
Siddhartha
Steppenwolf
Wandering
Hinton, CH
Episode of Flatland, An
Homer
Illiad, The
Odyssey, The
Huxley, Aldous
Ape and Essence
Brave New World
Doors of Perception, The
Jones, Patrick
FUSE
Joyce, James
Dubliners, The
Juvenal
Satires
Kafka, Franz
Hunger Artist, A
Metamorphosis, The
Kaku, Michio
Beyond Einstein: The Cosmic Quest for the Theory of the Universe
Kerouac, Jack
Beat Generation
Desolation Angels
On The Road
Kidd, Chip
Cheesemonkeys, The
Klosterman, Chuck
Sex, Drugs, and Cocoapuffs
Lightman, Alan
Great Ideas in Physics
Machiavelli
Prince, The
Mailer, Norman
Miami And The Siege Of Chicago
Marlowe, Christopher
Doctor Faustus, The Tragedy of
Marx, Karl
Communist Manifesto, The
McCarthy, Joseph
Epic
Johnny and Mary
Our Hero
True Romance
Miller, Arthur
After The Fall
Death of a Salesman
Miller, Henry
Tropic of Capricorn
Nietzsche, Friedrich
Thus Spoke Zarathustra
Orwell, George
1984
Animal Farm
Palahniuk, Chuck
Choke
Diary
Fight Club
Lullaby
Invisible Monsters
Survivor
Peitgen, Jurgens, Saupe
Chaos and Fractals: New Frontiers of Science
Pinker, Steven
Blank Slate, The: The Modern Denial of Human Nature
Pinter, Harold
Dwarves, The
Homecoming, The
Plath, Sylvia
Bell Jar, The
Complete Poems
Johnny Panic and the Bible of Dreams
Mirror
Poe, Edgar Allan
Complete Tales & Poems
Redfield, James
Celestine Prophecy, The
Robbins, Tom
Still Life With Woodpecker
Fierce Invalids Home From Hot Climates
Rufus, Anneli
Party of One: The Loner's Manifesto
Sagan, Carl
Cosmic Connection, The
Salinger J.D.
Catcher in the Rye
Franny and Zoey
Sarton, May
Journal of A Solitude
Sartre, Jean Paul
Nausea
No Exit and Three Other Plays
Reprieve, The
Wall, The
Shakespeare
...the complete works of, and I must mention at this point the modern day obsession with Ophelia as an archetypical feminist and how I end up talking about this all the time. Drowning Ophelia would be a good band name though for either an all boy band or an all girl band under different contexts.
Sophocles
Antigone
Oedipus Rex
Stahl, Jerry
Permanent Midnight
Perv - A Love Story
Plainclothes Naked
Steinbeck, John
Chrysanthemums
Of Mice and Men
Thompson, Hunter S.
Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas
Fear and Loathing on the Campaign Trail
Various Authors
Holy Bible, The
Veblen, Thorstein
Conspicuous Consumption
Virgil
Aeneid, The
Voltaire (François-Marie Arouet)
Candide
Huron, The
Ignorant Philosopher, The
Man of Forty Crowns, The
Micromegas
Philosophy of History, The
Princess of Babylon, The
Sage and the Atheist, The
Study of Nature, The
White Bull, The
Zadig
Vonnegutt, Kurt
Cat's Cradle
Galapagos
Player Piano
Sirens of Titan
Slaughterhouse Five
Weeks, Jeffrey R.
Shape of Space, The
Weldon, Fay
IND AFF: Out of Love in Sarajevo
Welsh, Irvine
Acid House, The
Glue
Porno
Trainspotting
Wilde, Oscar
Complete Plays and Poetry
De Profundis
Importance of Being Ernest and other plays, The
Picture of Dorian Gray, The
Williams, Tennessee
Streetcar Named Desire, A
Heroes:
I don't have any heroes, a hero would have to be like a God to me and I really can't believe that. Shaun Ryder used an image of his grandmother to represent God when he was undergoing rehab. Lots of people have said things like that, but I could never pick things like that because they would die. How can you reconcile yourself to a living god like that? Some people take their cats or their dogs as their god, but I think that's nonsensical, because your god is not gonna die on you. The closest I can get to it is nature probably, but then nature is very cruel. It's a question of working it all out, which is why I write, to try and work out the central point.
A god of your own understanding... mine's not gonna be my dead grandmother or my pet cat, and it's not gonna be the Big Man upstairs. And I've got to understand what nature means. It's just a question of working it all out, and I've got a lot of time on my hands, so I can think about it.
..This is where mute syllables go to die.
