Myspace Layouts at Pimp-My-Profile.com / Blue Moon
Born into paternal strife and disappointment of post war Britain amidst the scars of north London’s streets bomb sites. Emigrated to a better life in Australia via a six week journey on an ex troop ship. Gender separation in cabin birthing and a life changing experience in sailing through the American Fifth fleet in one of the last civilian ships through the Suez crisis. Through childhood eyes witnessing poverty, malnutrition and deliberate mutilation of children to allow begging, yet be a spectator to the magnificence of religious centres such as Kandi in Sri Lanka and US Naval power in Egypt.(The picture below is the ship we went over in, en ex troop ship). Upon my return to Britain was inducted with educational emphasis of the shame my nation, having witnessed some of the Commonwealth countries we had all but deserted by independence. Growth into the area of Teddy Boys then Rockers, (just to set a timeline) Very conscious of the Cold War and Cuban Crisis, which naivety caused me to revel in the prospect of global conflict. I saw it as a means to sort out the mess, instil sense of purpose and pride, and replace post war allowance in letting one oppressive regime that replace another. Placement in Hornsey Art College was retarded by attendance at an extreme left wing political rally where elderly people proudly wearing medals to dispaly their effort in defending democracy people fell victim to extreme, violence meted out to them by misguided youthful left wing idealism. Teenage years encountered a time of rivalry between mods and rockers, and the birth of a music revolution. The Christian ethic remained, but believing those that administor faith, do so singing the words to the hymn. ‘His truth is marching on’; in the metal hull of a tank!’ To replace my sense of displacement, I joined Territorial Army units and retained erratic attendance and membership for around twelve years. Due to loss of fingers in an accident, emphasis of service changed and I embarked upon adult tutorship of cadets. In addition, supervised the Duke of Edinburgh award scheme with welcome successes. Old fashioned sexual respect, succumbed to earthly desire and mutual Employment thrust me into a realm of high responsibility for labour force and successful building construction, accompanied by over stretched demands for financial need to support a growing family. Fisrt son born when I was 19, then daughter and movement of family home to maintain employment and secure access to education during a time of massive immigrant (multi national) population that suffocated the domestic support system in the vicinity we lived. Absolute confusion of life’s purpose, reinforced by the death of a newly born baby, three close friends being murdered in criminal activity, and the beginnings of a concerted quest to simply ‘understand’ Convinced of the sad inevitability of Orwell’s ‘Big Brother’. Recognised the power of first manifestations of global policing through American Imperialism and firm belief in prime conspiracy theories. Enjoy all music as a vehicle that transcends all national barriers, to act as a common denominator in communication between race, culture, age, religion and political expression. ‘Please lock me away; And don’t forget the day, Where I hide, from my pride and my loneliness, I don’t care what they say I won’t live in a world without love.’ Shocked to discover personal votes are not secret and the true extent of Big Brother! Despise the motive power of money as all prevailing. Pressure of work, extremely long working days due to extreme distances travelled to place of work and an immense struggle within myself to make sense of what I had witnessed in growth through confusion, armed conflict, betrayal of idealism supporting political regimes, financial demand for day to day family needs and a life that seemed to be running amok. Read countless books on history in search of a sense of pride, dignity, or reason. The confusion of not being a racist, yet living in the turmoil of continued tension, implication on family environment, decline in children’s schooling and the decline of city life and community support systems. All leading to an escape into surreal idealism of village life, community living and the long established, yet now flowering admiration of nature and all its manifestation. Undertook many years of martial arts discipline, plus early inquisitive research in to the paranormal, to flourish further in recent years. Exploring spirituality through numerous experiences that led me to an almost nonchalant acceptance of Spirit and a belief that why should I pursue and develop it, when it is a perfectly natural phenomenon. Pursued Pagan ideology and its links to Shamanism, bypassing Wiccan involvement, yet crossing swords on occasion. I recognised the multi cultural cross pollination of nature’s part in global belief systems and ideologies. Then early space exploration embracing the concept of alternative worlds and the simple word ‘hope.’ Never really able to come to grips with domestic, economic needs of a five child family and modest economic ability to provide for them. I sought a means to present history at a human level. The sdavagery of wearfare was enhanced by a spiritual grasp that was eventually to lead to being prescribed as sufferiung from P.ST.D.Sleep depravation, medical prescription of sleep apnoea and narcolepsy, which imposed a negative, depressive menmtal burden. Endured the trauma of a son engaged in war during the nineties, death of my closest friend, my Dad. Witnessing the rape of all that my parents had worked for by the state to pay for elderly care and nursing for my mother they had fought a war to preserve. Meanwhile, increased pressure upon material, financial provision for family, my wife and I took on a public house but were not financially able to sustain its needs. This resulted in the loss of two businesses, one mortgage free home and the destruction of my family based upon some of my own short comings and her short sighted attempt to survive at all costs, yet in the process lose all that we had achieved being seized into bankruptcy. I endured a mental breakdown that resulted in the true manifestation of the governmenst 'care in the community' by being impisoned with numerous other inmates denied care and psychiatric aid.