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The Shadow Puppets

the_shadow_puppets

About Me

We, the Shadow Puppets, have always been, and always will be. It was our hands that fell the Hanging Gardens of Babylon. It was our dicks that spread gonnorhea through Elizabethan England. And it is our ambition to destroy the Americana to which our enemies cling...Fear not citizens, and stay out of our way...

My Interests

We, the Shadow Puppets, are an organization with a mission. Should we tell you the details of the mission, we would in turn be forced to kill you. Suffice it to say, you will know our work when you see it. Our calling card will be there, somewhere, on the scene. We watch enough CSI to know exactly how to succeed at everything. Don't question our abilities.
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I'd like to meet:

We must never meet, for we, the Shadow Puppets, are only your worst nightmare...

Music:

Music makes potentially good workers burn out bums; turn off your stereo...

Movies:

Movies are images of fantasy that do not reflect the reality that we have created; melt your DVDs.

Television:

Television makes you believe in happy endings and psuedo-sadistic maschochism; burn your television...

Books:

Books make children believe in fairies and near sighted wizards; destroy all books...

Heroes:

We are our own heroes...A List of Needed Assasinations: Santa Claus; The Easter Bunny; and Pauly Shore

My Blog

The New Mission

Some have claimed that we, the Shadow Puppets have gone on hiatus, ceased to exist, or, even demised. These speculations are incorrect. We have always been, and always will be. We have been watch...
Posted by The Shadow Puppets on Mon, 22 Oct 2007 07:15:00 PST

Score One For Shadow Puppets

As it seems now, Anna Nicole Smith is dead... What all of you should know, is that we, the Shadow Puppets, are responsible for this death... We, the Shadow Puppets, are proud of this executi...
Posted by The Shadow Puppets on Thu, 08 Feb 2007 02:35:00 PST

Shadow Puppet Ethics

The Nature of the Shadow Puppet Ethics is quite simple. We make the rules; you don't. For us to forfeit the rule making to the incompetent would necessitate a fallacious crime against Nature. Therefor...
Posted by The Shadow Puppets on Tue, 28 Nov 2006 11:07:00 PST

Shadow Puppet Bitches

We, the Shadow Puppets, rarely have time to indulge in the flowered gardens of the bitches that surround us. However, in between shitting in broken toilets and sexually assaulting athletic mascots, we...
Posted by The Shadow Puppets on Sun, 26 Nov 2006 09:33:00 PST

Mission One

Consider this Warning: On the Night of Christmas Eve, 2006, we, the Shadow Puppets, will perpetuate our war against tackiness and bad taste in American Christmas practices. All inflatable paraphanelia...
Posted by The Shadow Puppets on Sat, 25 Nov 2006 05:50:00 PST