SAZU, THE ARMADILLO profile picture

SAZU, THE ARMADILLO

NOT YOUR AVERAGE SPEEDBUMP!!!!!

About Me


This profile was edited with bombs
SAZU IS AN ARMADILLO. ARMADILLOS ARE AN AMAZING GROUP OF ANIMALS THAT ORIGINATED IN SOUTH AMERICA. ARMADILLOS ARE MAMMALS, JUST LIKE YOU (MAYBE). THE ARMADILLO IS NEITHER A RODENT NOR A MARSUPIAL, AND WE ARE NOT RELATED TO THE OPOSSUM.
THERE ARE TWENTY DIFFERENT SPECIES OF ARMADILLOS. WE BELONG TO THE ORDER XENARTHRA, FAMILY DASYPODIDAE. OUR CLOSEST RELATIVES ARE SLOTHS AND ANTEATERS. THE MOST EASILY RECOGNIZED FEATURE OF AN ARMADILLO IS OUR SHELL. ALL OF US ARMADILLOS HAVE SHELLS, MADE OF TRUE BONE, THAT COVER OUR BACKS. MOST ARMADILLOS ALSO HAVE BONY RINGS OR PLATES THAT PROTECT OUR TAILS. BECAUSE OUR BACKS ARE COVERED WITH BONE, WE ARMADILLOS ARE NOT VERY FLEXIBLE. ALTHOUGH ONE SPECIES — THE THREE-BANDED ARMADILLO — CAN ROLL ITSELF INTO A BALL, NONE OF THE OTHERS CAN DO SO.
ARMADILLOS ARE BUILT TO DIG. WE HAVE SHORT, STRONG LEGS THAT ARE WELL SUITED TO RAPID DIGGING, EITHER FOR FOOD OR FOR SHELTER. LIKE OUR COUSINS, THE SLOTH AND ANTEATER, ARMADILLOS HAVE STRONG CLAWS. WE USE THEM TO HELP IN DIGGING, OR TO TEAR APART ROTTING WOOD TO FIND FOOD. WE ARMADILLOS EAT A WIDE VARIETY OF DIFFERENT FOODS, RANGING FROM INSECTS TO PLANTS. MOST ARMADILLOS EAT SMALL INVERTEBRATES LIKE ANTS, BEETLES, AND GRUBS. MANY OF THEM ALSO EAT BITS OF FLESH FROM DEAD ANIMALS WHEN WE CAN FIND THEM. MOST ARMADILLOS ALSO EAT PLANTS. BECAUSE SMALL BUGS AND SOFT PLANTS ARE NOT TOO DIFFICULT TO CHEW, ARMADILLOS DO NOT HAVE VERY COMPLICATED TEETH. WE HAVE LOST ALL BUT OUR MOLARS OVER TIME, AND THE TEETH THAT REMAIN ARE PEG-SHAPED. ARMADILLO TEETH DO NOT HAVE THE HARD WHITE ENAMEL COATING THAT PROTECTS THE TEETH OF OTHER MAMMALS.MANY SPECIES OF ARMADILLO ARE ENDANGERED OR THREATENED. HUMAN ENCROACHMENT, SLASH-AND-BURN FARMING, HUNTING, AND DEATHS DUE TO DOMESTIC DOGS ACCOUNT FOR A LARGE PERCENTAGE OF THE PROBLEM. OF THE TWENTY SPECIES OF ARMADILLO, ONLY ONE — THE NINE-BANDED ARMADILLO — APPEARS TO BE INCREASING IN NUMBER. IN THE LAST HUNDRED YEARS OR SO, THE NINE-BANDED ARMADILLO HAS EXPANDED ITS HOME RANGE NORTHWARD INTO THE UNITED STATES. ARMADILLOS HAVE MOVED AS FAR WEST AS COLORADO AND AS FAR NORTH AS NEBRASKA, WITH OCCASIONAL SIGHTINGS EVEN FARTHER NORTH. COLD WEATHER WILL EVENTUALLY STOP THE SPREAD OF THE ARMADILLO, AS WE CANNOT TOLERATE EVEN RELATIVELY SHORT PERIODS OF EXTREME COLD. — WE DO NOT HAVE LARGE FAT RESERVES TO HELP INSULATE THEIR BODIES.OH YEAH, DID SAZU MENTION THAT SAZU IS AN ARMADILLO?ALSO, AND LISTEN UP M#$@#$ F#@$@#S, THE SWEET LITTLE THING THAT FEEDS SAZU IS ONLY TEN YEARS OLD. KEEP IT SOMEWHAT CLEAN ON HERE!!!! NAKED PICTURES ARE NOT NEEDED. SAZU IS TRYING TO CLEAN SAZU' LANGUAGE. OTHERWISE SAZU HAS TO MEET MR. SOAP.THE "ENCHANTRESS" THAT HOUSES SAZU IS ACTUALLY THE ONE WHO MAINTAINS SAZU'S PAGE. SO ALTHOUGH SAZU IS MALE, IT IS A GIRL WHO HELPS SAZU. WHAT DO YOU WANT? SAZU IS ARMADILLO!!!

My Interests

BOMBS, GUNS, EXPLOSIONS, FOOD, AND THAT CUTE LITTLE THING THAT FEEDS ME.

Emo Patrol

I'd like to meet:

ANYONE WHO LOVES EXPLOSIONS FOR FUN, CRAZY HARRY, THE DEMOLITION MAN (OF THE SONG BY GRACE JONES, NOT THAT SUCKASS MOVIE), OTHER ARMADILLOS, ANTEATERS, SLOTHS (THEY ARE SAZU'S COUSINS), AARDVARKS, (BUT NOT THAT ARTHUR!! OH NO!!! THAT ARTHUR LOOKS LIKE A TATTLETALE~BUT THAT REALLY RICH ARTHUR WHO IS DRUNK LOTS OF THE TIME AND IS A HUMAN MIGHT BE OKAY), PENQUINS, DR. STRANGELOVE, CROWS, DRAGONS, OPPOSSUMS, GARDEN ELVES, ANYONE WHO CAN REMOVE MUZZLES. SAZU DOES NOT WANT TO MEET MR. SOAP!!!!!

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Music:

THE SCREAMS OF TERROR AS SAZU TAKES OVER THE WORLD MUAHAHAHAHA OH YES, AND SAZU LOVES THIS SONG!

My Hands are Bananas

Movies:

THINGS WITH A SERIOUS SBU FACTOR

Television:

SEE THE FILMS SECTION, MORON!

Books:

IF THEY BURN, OKAY. ALSO, THE ANARCHIST COOKBOOK! OH BOY!!

Heroes:

THE US ARMEDADILLO FORCES!!!1US TROOPS, THE IDF.THEY KNOW HOW TO KICK ASS!!

My Blog

SAZU IS VERY PISSED OFF!!!!

SO ONLY NOW IS SAZU ABLE TO COMMENT THE PEOPLE THAT SAZU MET AT WASTELAND. PROBLEM IS, SAZU WAS NOT OUT VERY MUCH FROM THE ROOM AND FORGOT IF SAZU MET EVERYONE SAZU WAS SUPPOSED TO. IN THE MEANTIM...
Posted by SAZU, THE ARMADILLO on Fri, 20 Apr 2007 09:30:00 PST

SAZU IN TROUBLE

SAZU BLEW UP ANOTHER COMPUTER. WILL BE PLAYING CATCH UP NOW THAT SAZU GOT AHOLD OF THIS ONE. ALSO, SAZU'S TUMMY HURTS TODAY. . .IT MIGHT HAVE BEEN THAT AAA BATTERY IN MY CHIP DIP.POOR, POOR SAZU!!!!...
Posted by SAZU, THE ARMADILLO on Fri, 23 Mar 2007 11:38:00 PST

SAZU IN TROUBLE

SAZU BLEW UP ANOTHER COMPUTER. WILL BE PLAYING CATCH UP NOW THAT SAZU GOT AHOLD OF THIS ONE. ALSO, SAZU'S TUMMY HURTS TODAY. . .IT MIGHT HAVE BEEN THAT AAA BATTERY IN MY CHIP DIP.POOR, POOR SAZU!!!!...
Posted by SAZU, THE ARMADILLO on Fri, 23 Mar 2007 11:38:00 PST

OH BOY!!!!

SAZU SEES THAT THERE IS A 27% CHANCE THAT HE WILL BE EATEN!!! SAZU IS FRIGHTENED OF ROXY!!!! You scored as Gunshot. Your death will be by gunshot, probably because you are some important person or wh...
Posted by SAZU, THE ARMADILLO on Thu, 28 Dec 2006 06:55:00 PST

Last will and testament

I, Sazu, being of sound mind, hereby bequeath my entire estate to my pet rock. I do this because it supports my plans of evil world conquest.My only regret in this life was that I didn't wash behind...
Posted by SAZU, THE ARMADILLO on Fri, 22 Dec 2006 02:31:00 PST

STUPID, WEAK, FRIGHTENED GIRLS. . .

ARE ONLY GOOD AT BEING VICTIMS.SAZU JOINED A VIDEO GROUP THINKING THAT IT WAS LIKE YOUTUBE. SAZU WAS WRONG. ON THIS SITE, THERE ARE SELFISH LITTLE CUNTS (MALE AND FEMALE) WHO WOULD PUT SAZU TO SHA...
Posted by SAZU, THE ARMADILLO on Thu, 21 Dec 2006 10:35:00 PST

Sazu will rule the universe, one planet at a time. . .

You Should Rule MercuryClose to sun, Mercury has very long days - and is rarely visible to the rest of the solar system.You are perfect to rule Mercury, because you live for the present - and can trul...
Posted by SAZU, THE ARMADILLO on Wed, 06 Dec 2006 08:24:00 PST

SAZU IS GOING TO MAKE A XMAS CD.

SAZU WILL HAVE A COMMERCIAL ON YOUTUBE SOON, SO WATCH OUT FOR IT AND FOR FALLING BOMBS. YOU CAN SEND MONEY NOW!!! ALL PROCEEDS WILL GO TO THE SAZU FOUNDATION OF BOMB MAKING.PALE SAYS THAT IT IS G...
Posted by SAZU, THE ARMADILLO on Thu, 30 Nov 2006 09:43:00 PST

POOR, POOR SAZU!!!

border="0" bgcolor="..FFFFFF">What horrible Edward Gorey Death will you die?You will be sucked dry by a leech. I'd stay away from swimming holes, and stick to good old cement. Even if it does hurt li...
Posted by SAZU, THE ARMADILLO on Mon, 27 Nov 2006 10:20:00 PST

OH BOY!!! NEW FRIENDS!!!

SAZU IS EXCITED THAT STRANGERS ARE ASKING SAZU TO BE SAZU'S FRIEND. SAZU'S FRIENDS ARE THE APEX OF EVOLUTION. EXCEPT MAYBE FOR ROXY. SAZU STILL THINKS THAT ROXY MIGHT TRY TO MAKE A STEW OUT OF SAZ...
Posted by SAZU, THE ARMADILLO on Thu, 23 Nov 2006 07:51:00 PST