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I, Professor Hubert J. Farnsworth (born April 9, 2841) am the elderly proprietor of the Planet Express delivery service.I am the only living relative of Philip J. Fry, (except Cubert, he is his great nephew — though never stated, he is therefore logically the descendant of Philip's only sibling, his brother Yancy Fry, and also, via time paradox, Philip J. Fry himself....i think), Im always seen pushing the limits of even 31st century age at about 160.Ive usualyy been known as the mad scientist. I am supposedly a senile, deranged, and unpredictable old man with both a maniac and a genius. I have a gift and a passion for the creation of doomsday weapons and atomic supermen, and is a danger to myself, my employees and the universe in general. My parallel self put at least one parallel universe in peril with his inventions, what an idiot!I formerly taught at Mars University and worked for Momcorp, but I currently spend my time inventing devices and coming up with even more missions for my crew. While at Momcorp, I fell in love with the CEO, Mom, only to leave her and Momcorp when she decided to weaponize my "QT McWhiskers" toy, an anthropomorphic cat toy that shot rainbows from its eyes.I rarely worry about the safety of the crew, viewing them as a means to help until they di....retire. After remarking that I was looking for a new crew for my intergalactic space ship, I was asked "what happened to your old crew?" My response was "Oh, those poor sons-of-b-but that's not important! What is important is that I need a new crew!" I quite frequently send them on dangerous missions, but i do give them a choice, oh my yes. My missions are typically those other delivery companies won't take, such as delivering subpoenas to mob-controlled worlds or casual deliveries to virus-infested planets. Even the commercial that I had produced for my company makes several remarks to this effect, including "When other companies aren't crazy or foolhardy enough" and "our crew is expendable, your package isn't", the former showing the crewman running through a minefield and the latter showing me being dragged away by a giant bird. For example, when Kif had planned to find the Wong's family's missing Buggalo, I remarked, "Oh my God, what a dangerous mission, Kif! Someone could most definitely get killed! Bender, Fry, Leela, you go with him." When Kif embarks on a similar mission later in the episode, I make roughly the same comment, to which Bender adds, "Damn you, old man!" During another mission, when the crew and his ship are sent off to war, I immediately try to hire another crew. When my old crew returns, I am clearly surpr....happy that they survived, remarking, "Oh God you're alive! I mean, thank God you're alive," then remarks to the applicants, "Come back in three days. A week at the most". Even my family relationship to Fry doesn't change much (if anything) to reduce my ardor for particular missions.Here are some of my missions;Dark matter engine -- Part of the Planet Express ship. Moves the universe around the ship instead of moving the ship through the universe. The engine's dark matter is usually supplied by Nibbler. Afterburners -- Give 200% fuel efficiency to the dark matter engines of the Planet Express ship. Albino shouting gorillas -- To shout out my love for Mom from rooftops. Anti-pressure pills -- a rectal suppository, roughly the size of an emu egg, which protects people from the heavy pressures of the ocean. Badass Gravity Pump -- Affixed to the Planet Express Ship and used to move stars. Co-invention with Ethan "Bubblegum" Tate of Globetrotter University, seems to have disappeared after its application in stopping the time-skips I created. It cost all of Earth's money to build. Beautiful Women -- In the mission "A Clone of My Own", Leela's video, summarising my life, claims that I designed them. Clone-O-Mat -- Clones organisms. Can, in some cases, also give the clone the memories of the organism from which the DNA originated. Cubert Farnsworth (Clone of the myself)-- Might not be counted as an invention but Cubert exclaims "In your entire life your only half-decent invention was me and I didn't turn out like you wanted either." The Coolometer -- A hand-held device which measures the coolness of whomever it is pointed at, in units of "MegaFonzies". The Death Clock -- A clock that tells the user how long they have to live when a finger is inserted. It's "occasionally off by a few seconds, what with free will and all". Seems to be less reliable than the I think. An array of doomsday devices -- Featured in the mission "Time Keeps on Slippin'". The one that is used to destroy the source of the time slippage creates an implosion on detonation. When trying to decide which weapon to use, I say "I suppose I could part with one and still be feared." Electric frankfurter -- Briefly mentioned during a musical number in "How Hermes Requisitioned His Groove Back" (They poo-pooed my electric frankfurter). Electronium Hat -- Provides intelligence to Fry's monkey roommate Gunther at Mars University by harnessing the power of sunspots to produce cognitive radiation (as opposed to the "preposterous science fiction mumbo-jumbo" that is genetic engineering. Fast Cars -- Mentioned briefly in Leela's video. F-ray -- Similar to an X-ray, except it can look through anything, even metal. Uses a controlled neutrino beam in some way. It can pop balloons and blimps when pointed at them and produces harmful radiation that is known to kill sperm. The Fing-longer -- May not be actually one of my own inventions. A glove with an extended index finger, allowing the wearer to operate machinery from "great" distances. In "Anthology of Interest I", I didn't really invent this, but I wished I had after seeing in on the What-If machine (see below). By the time of "The Birdbot of Ice-Catraz" I have invented one, or acquired one from sources unknown. Farnsworth's Killbots -- A range of at least one model of combat robot, which I manufactured myself. My Roboticon 3003 stall claims: "Housewives prefer Farnsworth's Killbots". The neighbouring stall is "Wernstrom's Killbots", sparking an argument between the owners and causing the two killbots to show disdain for senseless aggression and go for a paddleboat ride. The Maternifuge -- An alien cross species genetic analyzer that spins at 10,000 RPM to determine a subject's mother. Zoidberg lives in it. When introducing it, I say, "Even I laughed at me when I created this." In order to determine the mother of a child, all potential mothers must climb inside the centrifuge-like chamber. As it spins, the people inside are ejected until only the true mother remains. Q.T. McWhiskers -- Originally envisioned by me as an anthropomorphic, cat-like, children's plush toy which meowed and shot rainbows out of its eyes when petted on the head, this robot was changed by his ex-lover and CEO Mom into an eight-foot tall war robot with neutron lasers in its eyes, causing Hubert to leave Momcorp and Mom. I argued that things that were 8 feet tall were not cute, thus the failure of his colossal Tammy Tinkle doll. Mom's weaponized version of the toy is seen later in the episode, meowing as it fires its neutron lasers at everything in sight. New models are sixteen feet. The first robot capable of qualifying for a boat loan -- Metioned briefly in Leela's movie about me in "A Clone Of My Own". The Relative Box -- It appears in the mission "Space Pilot 3000." Fry and I use it, which proves to the me that Fry is my multiple-great-uncle. To use the device, two people insert one of their fingers into a hole located on either side of the box. The box makes a ding! sound to indicate that those two people are in fact related. The Re-animator -- Appearing in the Futurama video game, this is able to create an exact duplicate of a person quickly upon (premature) death, requiring only the person's X-rays, a DNA sample and some scrapings from the inside of the deceased's tennis shoes. Resembles and functions like a giant toaster. Two-dings Machine -- A machine which creates a glow-in-the-dark nose which you wear over your other nose, and emits radioactive waste. I also use it to translate the Alienese note found with Leela when she was a baby, though it can only translate it into "Betacrypt 3, a language so confusing there's even less chance of finding someone who can read it." The machine signifies that the translation is complete with two dings of a precise timing, though it periodically dings twice in a larger or smaller interval for other reasons. Smell-o-scope -- Allows the users to smell odors from astronomically long distances ("If a dog craps anywhere in the universe, you can bet I won't be out of the loop.") Superhuman Atomic Basketball Team -- Instead of using accelerated growth, I harvested chronotons. The results nearly destroyed the space-time continuum. The Superhumans were nearly a success, however, as they were leading the Harlem Globetrotters. Trendy night spots -- Mentioned briefly in Leela's video. A Universal Translator which can decipher any language in the universe. Unfortunately, it can only translate into one "incomprehensible, dead language" – French. What-If Machine -- A machine which depicts events following the posing of a hypothetical question/situation. It plays the "logical outcome" as a video scenario on a screen included in the machine. The What-If Machine is featured in the "Anthology of Interest" episodes, in which the questions posed result in humorous scenarios on the screen. I once commented that it wasn't "worth the gold it's made of". After fine-tuning it (with a hammer), I say that it can predict any scenario within one-tenth of a plausibility unit. It can be activated by both voice command and a large slot-machine like lever on the side. The Who-ask Machine -- A machine briefly used in "Anthology of Interest 2" to select the next person to pose a question for the What-If machine. When used by me it responds with "Amy", but quickly follows with "I mean Leela" when Amy gets excited. A machine that can make anyone sound exactly like myself -- Used to prank-call members of the Planet Express crew in "The Route of All Evil"... width="425" height="350" .... width="425" height="350" .... width="425" height="350" .... width="425" height="350" .... width="425" height="350" .... width="425" height="350" .... width="425" height="350" ..