Louis Goulet profile picture

Louis Goulet

I Am Even More Biggerer Than Jesus Than Yesterday.

About Me

My mother was a carpenter and my father a God. I was born a poor black child, spending my formative years on the mean streets of Bethlehem, often sleeping inside crisp packets. My father would frequently beat me and my intermittent mother would live in tents selling rakes. I travelled to the moon at the age of 5 and I can count to 10 with my eyes closed. I am the musician that we have all been seeking. I spend most of my days caramelizing my nail clippings and creating music with bees. I am filled mostly with ants and I know 8 secrets about mice. At current I am one of the most influential Albanian musicians though I am currently spreading Gouletism across the South West in the form of faulty flu jabs and fattening school dinners. In my spare time I steal CDs from postal distribution centres as well as playing with my Polonium 210 activities kit. I call myself a musician although I spend more time frolicking in sandpits with children than writing music. I often spend my summers in The Algarve where I lure small children with my flute. Or as most know it, my gay stick. At seventeen points in my life I have used a lavatory. 16 of these times they were in Ukraine. I own 7 teddies named Mohammad. I know little of sex and have only driven a Fiat Uno once. That was in the summer of '97. You most probably have heard my music's influence in the work of Enya, Sigur Ros, The Beatles and Fun Boy Three. I know I have. I am bigger than Jesus. I am yet to buy an iPhone. I eat Halloumi at least once a month. I like dead baby jokes. I was born with only one penis. I used to live in a German cave with a ginger rapist known only as "Sally the Infiltrator" and a finger puppet I had fashioned out of my own feces and corn flakes. I called him Smiley Rogers. In the winter of 1987, I lost my virginity to a heap of snow trapped between the fuel switch and LPG valve of my uncle Steve’s Ford Escort. Best night of my life. I hope you enjoy being enlightened by my work. Your God, Goulet. For I am Goulet. And You Are Not. Kiss me or I will staple your eyelids to a table.
 

My Interests

Music:

Member Since: 10/5/2006
Band Website: Websites are a burden to any Band.
Band Members: Louis Goulet - All Instruments
Some of the legal instruments Goulet plays:
Duduk (Armenia) Didgeridoo Fife Hocchiku (Japan) Hun (Korea) Inci (Philippines) Khloy (Cambodia) Khlui (Thailand) Koudi (China) Nose flute Ocarina Paixiao (China) Palendag (Philippines) Pan pipes Pulalu (Philippines) Recorder Ryuteki (Japan) Shakuhachi (Japan) Shinobue (Japan) Slide whistle Suling (Indonesia/Philippines) Tin whistle Tonette Tumpong (Philippines) Vertical flute Washint (Ethiopia) Western concert flutes: Piccolo Flute Alto flute Bass flute Contra-alto flute Contrabass flute Subcontrabass flute Double contrabass flute Willow flute (Scandanavia) Xiao (China) Xun (China) Zufolo (Italy) Pasiyak or water whistle {Philippines} Alboka Arghul Clarinets: Piccolo clarinet (A? clarinet) Sopranino clarinet (E? clarinet, D clarinet) Soprano clarinet (C clarinet, B? clarinet, A clarinet, G clarinet) Saxonette Basset clarinet Clarinette d'amour Basset horn Alto clarinet Bass clarinet Contra-alto clarinet Contrabass clarinet Octocontra-alto clarinet Octocontrabass clarinet Launeddas (Sardinia) Mijwiz Octavin Pibgorn (instrument) Saxophones: Soprillo Sopranino saxophone C Soprano saxophone B? Soprano saxophone Clar-o-sax Saxie Conn-o-sax Mezzo-soprano saxophone Alto saxophone C melody saxophone Tenor saxophone Baritone saxophone Bass saxophone Contrabass saxophone Subcontrabass saxophone Tubax Aulochrome Tarogato (modern single-reed) FolgerphoneDouble reed instrumentsBassoon Contrabassoon/Double bassoon Tenoroon Bifora (Sicily) Bombarde (France) Cromorne Crumhorn Dulzaina (Spain)fctu tyu cdtyuj dtyju xdty Dulcian Guan (instrument) (China) Heckelphone Piccolo heckelphone Terz heckelphone Kèn b?u (Vietnam) Nadaswaram (India) Oboes: Piccolo oboe Oboe d'amore Cor anglais/English horn Oboe da caccia Bass/Baritone oboe Contrabass oboe Rackett Contrabass á anche / Reed contrabass Sarrusophones: Sopranino sarrusophone Soprano sarrusophone Alto sarrusophone Tenor sarrusophone Baritone sarrusophone Bass sarrusophone Contrabass sarrusophone Shawm Sralai (Cambodia) Suona (China) Surnay Tarogato (original two-reed variety) Trompeta china (Cuba) TromboonBagpipes (single and double reed) See: Types of bagpipesBrass instrumentsAlphorn Baritone horn Bazooka Bugle (instrument) keyed bugle Cimbasso Conch Cornet Cornett Didgeridoo Doulophone/Cuprophone Euphonium Flugelhorn Horagai Horn/French horn Jug Mellophone Ophicleide Roman tuba Sackbut Saxhorn Serpent Shofar Sousaphone Tenor Horn/Alto Horn Trombone Trumpet Tuba Wagner tuba QuinticlaveFree reed instrumentsAccordion Chromatic Accordion Button Accordion Bandoneón Bawu Bayan Concertina Harmonica Harmonium Jew's Harp Khene Lusheng Mangtong Melodica Melodeon Pipe organ (some pipes; others are woodwind) Saenghwang Sheng YuVoiceThere are 11 vocals listed Soprano Mezzo-soprano Alto/Contralto Countertenor Tenor Baritone Basso/Bass Castrato Falsetto Kazoo Death growlFree aerophones Bullroarer Lasso d'amore Whip SirenString instruments3rd bridge guitar Aeolian harp Ajaeng (Korea) Appalachian dulcimer (United States) Archlute Arpeggione Aru-ding (Philippines) Baglama (Turkey) Balalaika (Russia) Bandura Banjo Barbat (Iran) Baryton Berimbau (Brazil) Biwa (Japan) Bordonua Bouzouki (Greece) Cello (Violoncello) Chapman stick Cimbalom Electric Cymbalum Cittern Clavichord Crwth Cuatro Dahu (China) --àn b?u (Vietnam) --àn gáo (Vietnam) --àn nguy?t (Vietnam) --àn tam th?p l?c (Vietnam) --àn tranh (Vietnam) --àn t? bà (Vietnam) Dihu (China) Domra (Russia) Double Bass Dutar (Central Asia) Duxianqin (China) Ektara (India) Erhu (China) Erxian (China) Faglong/Fuglung (Philippines) Fegereng (Philippines) Fiddle Gayageum (Korea) Gehu (China) Geomungo (Korea) Gottuvadhyam (India) Guitars: Acoustic bass guitar Acoustic guitar Bass guitar Chitarra battente (Italy) Cigar box guitar Classical guitar Electric Guitar Harp guitar Slide guitar Steel guitar 3rd bridge guitar Guitarrón (Mexico) Gusli (Russia) Guqin (China) Guzheng (China) Hammered dulcimer Hardanger fiddle (Norway) Harp Harpsichord Hegelong (Philippines) Huluhu (China) Huqin (China) Hurdy gurdy Igil Irish bouzouki Jiaohu (China) Kadlong (Philippines) Kantele (Finland) Khim (Thailand/Cambodia) Kokyu (Japan) Komungo (Korea) Kora Koto Overtone Koto Kubing (Philippines) Kudyapi (Philippines) Langeleik (Norway) Laruan (China) Leiqin (China) Lirone Lute Lyre Maguhu (China) Mando-bass Mandocello Mandola Mandolin Mohan veena (India) Moodswinger Moonlander Morin khuur (Mongolia) Musical bow Nyckelharpa (Sweden) Octave mandolin (Octave mandola) Overtone guitar Piano Piccolo violin Piccolo 'cello/violoncello piccolo Pipa (China) Psaltery Rahab (Rabob) Rebec Ruan (China) Rudra vina (India) Sallameh (Iran) Sanshin (Okinawa) Santoor (India) Sanxian (China) Saung (Burma) Saw sam sai (Thailand) Se (China) Shamisen (Japan) Setar (lute) (Persia) Sitar (India) Stroh Violin Sopranino mandolin Tamburitza (Croatia/Serbia) Tamboori or Tanpura (India) Tar (lute) Tea chest bass Tenor viola Theorbo (Europe) Timple Tres Tro (Cambodia) Trumpet marine/tromba marina Tuhu (China) Ukulele Valiha (Madagascar) Veena (India) Vertical viola (and other members of the violin octet family) Vichitra vina (India) Vielle Vihuela (Spain) Viol/Viola da gamba Viola Viola d'amore Violin Violotta Washtub bass Xalam/Khalam Yayl-- tanbur Yazheng (China) Zhonghu (China) Zhuihu (China) Zither Overtone zitherPercussion instruments See also: List of percussion instrumentsDrumsThere are 33 drums listed Abïa drum African drum Agung a Tamlang Bass drum Bodhrán (Ireland) Bongo drum Chenda (India) Conga (Caribbean) Cuíca (Brazil) Dabakan (Philippines) Dhol(Persia) Dholak Djembe Goblet drum Janggu (Korea) Kettle drum Khol Lambeg drum (Ireland) Mridangam (India) Naqara Octaban Sabar (Senegal) Sampho (Cambodia) Snare Steel drum Surdo (Brazil) Tabla(India/Pakistan) Taiko (Japan) O Daiko (Japan) Tan-tan Taphon (Thailand) Thavil (India) Timpani (kettledrums) Tom-TomOther percussion instrumentsThere are 74 percussion instruments listed Array mbira Ahoko Agung/Agong (Philippines) Agung a Tamlang (Philippines) Babendil (Philippines) Bell Bianqing (China) Bianzhong (China) Carillon Castanets Caxixi (Brazil) Chime Ching Claves Cowbell Crotales Cymbals: Crash cymbal Hi-hat cymbal Ride cymbal Splash cymbal Zil (Finger cymbal) Cymbalum Fangxiang (China) Gamelan (Indonesia) American gamelan Gangsa Gendér Ugal Gandingan (Philippines) Gandingan a Kayo (Philippines) Ganza Ghatam Glass marimba Glass harmonica Glockenspiel Gong Guiro hands clapping Handbells Hang Hosho (Zimbabwe) Ipu (Hawaii) Kagul (Philippines) Kalimba (Africa} Kulintang/Kolintang (Philippines) Kulintang a Kayo (Philippines) Kulintang a Tiniok (Philippines) Lamellaphone Luntang (Philippines) Maraca Marimba Marimbaphone Mbira Metallophone Musical Saw Rainstick Ranat ek lek (Thailand) Ranat thum lek (Thailand) Rattle Riq Shekere Singing bowl Slit Drum Spoons Steelpan Tambourine Triangle Timpani Tubular bells Udu Vibraphone Washboard Whip Xylophone XylorimbaElectronic instrumentsThere are 19 electronic instruments listed Denis d'or Dubreq Stylophone Drum machine Electronic organ Electric piano Fingerboard synthesizer Hammond organ Mellotron Octapad Ondes Martenot Rhodes piano Sampler Synclavier Synthesizer Teleharmonium Theremin Turntables (record player/phonograph) Continuum (instrument) ComputerKeyboard instrumentsThere are 20 keyboard instruments listed Accordion Bandoneón Calliope Carillon Celesta Clavichord Glasschord Harpsichord MIDI keyboard Organ Electronic organ Hammond Organ Pipe organ Piano Baby grand piano Electric piano Grand piano Janko piano Toy piano Upright piano Upright grand piano Viola organistaOtherThere are 9 other musical instruments listed Crystallophones floppy board(Australian) Hardart Suikinkutsu (Japanese water zither) Hydraulophone Plasmaphone Quintephone zertighterlomingsonterphone(ancient aboridginal) zynighterforbingsontigererphone(ancient Greek, little is known)pronounced zy-night-er-for-bing-son-tig-er-er-phone
Influences: I am influenced only by the wind and Enya.Enya. Ooooh.
Sounds Like: Your mum in bed.
Record Label: Labels are a burden to any Record.
Type of Label: None

My Blog

Why I use laxative

I am cold.
Posted by Louis Goulet on Mon, 21 Jul 2008 04:23:00 PST

Sex

I am Goulet.And you are not.I recently created a new song entitled 'Fluff'.It is a revolution in music and has thus created an entirely new genre of music that I like to call Bathrobe.I have recently ...
Posted by Louis Goulet on Sat, 29 Mar 2008 09:05:00 PST

Anus Germania

I have returned from my eleven year trip to Germany and I have learnt from this experience that Hitler was infact Spanish. I have also recorded a new song which I like to call 'Anus Germania'. Listen ...
Posted by Louis Goulet on Sun, 30 Dec 2007 05:33:00 PST

The New Sound

I have a new sound. With it I plan to conquer the human race.   The new sound will appear to you a bit like this:  ...
Posted by Louis Goulet on Sun, 14 Jan 2007 05:44:00 PST