Comedy, history, cooking, reading, music, asian women, and/or petite, women. philosophy, acid, electrically stimulating my testes, and other things not suitable for the average person. Just ask.
I'd like to meet:
My real father. The one I have cannot possibly be my real Daddy...Where are ya Dad??? Also, women who are more intelligent and funnier than me. Tall order, I should lower my standards...drunk whores, then.
TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF - The Survey
Name: Richard Samuel Pickford III, I'm the King!
Birthday: 11/05/72
Birthplace: RedBank, New Jersey...don't judge me.
Current Location: Portland, Maine...I said stop judging me!
Eye Color: Hazelnut
Hair Color: Whats left of it is brown.
Height: 6'1
Right Handed or Left Handed: Lefty unless I'm diddling myself, feels naughtier in my right hand.
Your Heritage: Daddy was a Greaser, and Mommy was a nun. Or Irish/English if thats what your getting at.
The Shoes You Wore Today: Made from the skins of my enemies? Are you my friend Mr. Survey?
Your Weakness: a pretty smile.
Your Fears: That I'm gonna meet a guy with a pretty smile...Not likely in Maine, thank dead gods.
Your Perfect Pizza: One that doesn't talk to me and beg me not to eat it. Your made to be eaten, so stop your screaming, stupid Pizza!
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year: Goal? Achieve? Over my head Mr.Survey. Keep it simple.
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger: How old are you?...Perfect, call me when your parents go to bed.
Thoughts First Waking Up: Are our lives a simple construct of the reality built around our senses? Or it is all a crock of shit?
Your Best Physical Feature: My anus
Your Bedtime: Most of the time I pass out on the couch.
Your Most Missed Memory: doing heroin for the first time, still makes me giddy.
Pepsi or Coke: Whatever, they are just mixers anyway.
MacDonalds or Burger King: wet pussy
Single or Group Dates: Romanesque orgies with less syphillis.
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: Jack Daniels
Chocolate or Vanilla: Jack Daniels
Cappuccino or Coffee: Jack Daniels
Do you Smoke: Only when I'm smoking.
Do you Swear: Why would I lie?
Do you Sing: Like a Canary!
Do you Shower Daily: I shower like Silkwood. (ya will only get that if ya seen the movie, if ya haven't go out and rent it.)
Have you Been in Love: Yes, what a waste of time. Lust is better.
Do you want to go to College: Went, sorta...mostly to deal drugs, and get laid.
Do you want to get Married: Can heterosexuals still get married?
Do you belive in yourself: I better, sure as shit no one else does.
Do you get Motion Sickness: No, but sometimes my couch does.
Do you think you are Attractive: Yes, but I'm too shy to do anything with it.
Are you a Health Freak: This is my exercise for the day.
Do you get along with your Parents: I have too, they have the Will.
Do you like Thunderstorms: Very much, making love in the middle of one...even better.
Do you play an Instrument: I like the sound of two bricks being smashed together! (Python)
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol: I have ta numb the pain somehow.
In the past month have you Smoked: It goes good with the numbing of pain.
In the past month have you been on Drugs: The Drugs are on me.
In the past month have you gone on a Date:
In the past month have you gone to a Mall: Yes. Scoping out targets...I mean women.
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos: No, but I have a friend I'm pretty sure isn't strictly white.
In the past month have you eaten Sushi: No, don't think I've met her yet.
In the past month have you been on Stage: Yes, and I was funny to boot.
In the past month have you been Dumped: Yes, a friend dumped me off at my house.
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping: No, but i sometimes walk around the apartment in nothing but a cape.
In the past month have you Stolen Anything: No, but I did return some stuff.
Ever been Drunk: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHa. No.
Ever been called a Tease: Only when I was too drunk to get it up.
Ever been Beaten up: Just emotionally and physically.
Ever Shoplifted: No, shops look friggen' HEAVY.
How do you want to Die: With a whole bunch of other people.
What do you want to be when you Grow Up: Dysfunctional. Seems to be the trend.
What country would you most like to Visit: Back to Ireland, Italy would be nice...and Texas.
In a Boy/Girl..
Favourite Eye Color: What does it matter, she's gonna be blindfolded.
Favourite Hair Color: brunettes, dirty blonde
Short or Long Hair: If I can wrap my hand in it, perfect
Height: Yeah, she should have some.
Weight: So long as I don't need a forklift to turn her over. Or slim
Best Clothing Style: blindfold
Number of Drugs I have taken: Pretty much all of them. Why? Is there something new?
Number of CDs I own: I have a computer.
Number of Piercings: on me? none.
Number of Tattoos: I prefer branding.
Number of things in my Past I Regret: nothing, what's the point? You gotta a friggen time machine? I sure don't.
CREATE YOUR OWN! - or - GET PAID TO TAKE SURVEYS!
Music:
The Welfare Mafia! Nick cave and the Bad Seeds, Tom Waits, Trex, Bowie (the old shit), Scud Mountain Boys, Beck, beatles, The Stooges, Fugazi, and various and sundry. Feel free to turn me on to something.
Movies:
Anything that ends darkly, anti-hero...A few of faves tho. TimeBandits, 12monkeys, Seven, FightClub, Night of the Living Dead (orig), The Departed, Usual Suspects, DeepThroat, Anything Monty Python. Blah blah...I don't even care about the movies I like.
Television:
I watch it...but I think its watching me harder! BILL BURR In Philidelphia!!!!! A MUST SEE 4 ANY COMIC!Watch THIS!! BRILLIANT!!width="425" height="350" ..
Books:
Put it in front of me and I will read it. Some of my favorites...Mary Stuart's The Crystal Cave, Tom Wolfe's A Man In Full, John Irving's Son Of The Circus, Tolkien, Chaim Potuk's My Name Is Asher Lev, Albert Camus The Stranger, Asimov, Frank Herbert's Dune, Bukowski, HS Thompson, James Herriot's All Creatures Great and Small, and lots of other sci-fi and fantasy 'cause I'm a nerd.
Heroes:
Johnny Welfare, for kicking it, and the tunes. Ya ever fuck a girl to your own bro's music? "Well ya weren't the First and ya Sure won't be the Last...So if your gonna hurt me, ya better do it fast." Thanks Kid! My Pop, one of the few Honest men I have ever met. Me Mum, 'cause she is silly, crazy and a former Nun. Christopher Pickford, FireFighter 9/11.
