Jesus Hallucination Christ

I'd like to meet:

Anybody that is willing to open their mind and educate themselves. Something Christianity won't allow.

Top Ten Signs that You're a Christian

10 - You vigorously deny the existence of thousands of gods claimed by other religions, but feel outraged when someone denies the existence of your god.

9 - You feel insulted and "dehumanized" when scientists say that people evolved from lesser life forms, but you have no problem with the Biblical claim that we were created from dirt.

8 - You laugh at polytheists, but you have no problem believing in a Trinity god.

7 - Your face turns purple when you hear of the "atrocities" attributed to Allah, but you don't even flinch when hearing about how God/Jehovah slaughtered all the babies of Egypt in "Exodus" and ordered the elimination of entire ethnic groups in "Joshua" -- including women, children, and trees!

6 - You laugh at Hindu beliefs that deify humans, and Greek claims about gods sleeping with women, but you have no problem believing that the Holy Spirit impregnated Mary, who then gave birth to a man-god who got killed, came back to life and then ascended into the sky.

5 - You are willing to spend your life looking for little loop-holes in the scientifically established age of the Earth (4.55 billion years), but you find nothing wrong with believing dates recorded by pre-historic tribesmen sitting in their tents and guessing that the Earth is a couple of generations old.

4 - You believe that the entire population of this planet with the exception of those who share your beliefs -- though excluding those in all rival sects -- will spend Eternity in an infinite Hell of Suffering. And yet you consider your religion the most "tolerant" and "loving".

3 - While modern science, history, geology, biology, and physics have failed to convince you otherwise, some idiot rolling around on the floor speaking in "tongues" may be all the evidence you need to prove Christianity.

2 - You define 0.01% as a "high success rate" when it comes to answered prayers. You consider that to be evidence that prayer works. And you think that the remaining 99.99% FAILURE was simply the will of God.

1 - You actually know a lot less than many Atheists and Agnostics do about the Bible, Christianity, and church history -- but still call yourself a Christian.

Christian Conversion Techniques:

1. Act friendly, smile, and pretend to be interested.
2. Crack cheesy jokes to show that you can have a sense of humor.
3. Start to "plant seeds" in the blasphemous heathen.
4. Play on emotions; attack the heart.
5. Tell a story about someone who turned to Christ and has been better ever since.
6. If all else fails, threaten with Hell.
7. Rinse and repeat.

Get Your Own Voice Player Manage
Prayer requests will not be answered, although the funniest prayer requests get a cookie!

Music:

Blasphemous songs that rock!

Jesus H Christ's favorite Quotes:

"Creationists make it sound as though a "theory" is something you dremt up after being drunk all night." - Isaac Asimov

Tell a devout Christian that his wife is cheating on him, or that frozen yogurt can make a man invisible, and he is likely to require as much evidence as anyone else, and to be persuaded only to the extent that you give it. Tell him that the book he keeps by his bed was written by an invisible deity who will punish him with fire for eternity if he fails to accept its every incredible claim about the universe, and he seems to require no evidence whatsoever. -Sam Harris (From "The End of Faith" pg.19)

"In the entire history of man, no one has ever been brainwashed and realized, or believed, that he had been brainwashed. Those who have been brainwashed will usually passionately defend their manipulators, claiming they have simply been "shown the light" ...or have been transformed in miraculous ways." -Dick Sutphen

If Christ were here now there is one thing he would not be - a Christian. - Mark Twain

"Religions are all alike — founded upon fables and mythologies." -Thomas Jefferson

"I do not find in orthodox Christianity one redeeming feature." Thomas Jefferson

"In Heaven all the interesting people are missing." Friedrich Nietzsche

"Man will never be free until the last king is strangled with the entrails of the last priest. -Denis Diderot"

"This would be the best of all possible worlds if there were no religion in it." - John Adams

"Where knowledge ends, religion begins." Benjamin Disraeli

"Religion is what keeps the poor from murdering the rich." Napoleon Bonaparte

"The most ridiculous concept ever perpetrated by Homo Sapiens is that the Lord God of Creation, Shaper and Ruler of the Universes, wants the sacharrine adoration of his creations, that he can be persuaded by their prayers, and becomes petulant if he does not recieve this flattery. Yet this ridiculous notion, without one real shred of evidence to bolster it, has gone on to found one of the oldest, largest and least productive industries in history." Robert Heinlein

"With or without religion, you would have good people doing good things and evil people doing evil things. But for good people to do evil things, that takes religion." Steven Weinberg

"Hell is an outrage on humanity. When you tell me that your deity made you in his image, I reply that he must have been very ugly." Victor Hugo

"Religion to me has always been the wound, not the bandage." Dennis Potter

"It is far better to grasp the universe as it really is than to persist in delusion, however satisfying and reassuring." Carl Sagan

"Take from the church the miraculous, the supernatural, the incomprehensible, the unreasonable, the impossible, the unknowable, the absurd, and nothing but a vacuum remains." Robert G. Ingersoll

"A man's ethical behavior should be based effectually on sympathy, education, and social ties; no religious basis is necessary. Man would indeed be in a poor way if he had to be restrained by fear of punishment and hope of reward after death." Albert Einstein

"Nothing can be more contrary to religion and the clergy than reason and common sense." Francois Marie Arouet (Voltaire)

"Heresy is only another word for freedom of thought." -Graham Greene

"When I do good, I feel good; when I do bad, I feel bad, and that is my religion." -Abraham Lincoln

"Maybe this world is another planet’s hell." -Aldous Huxley

"Now, now, my good man, this is no time for making enemies." -Voltaire, on his deathbed, to a priest asking that he renounce Satan

"Science is the record of dead religions." -Oscar Wilde

"The government of the United States is not in any sense founded on the Christian Religion." -George Washington

"To YOU I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition." -Woody Allen

Links:

(O) Skeptics Annotated Bible
(O) ExChristian.net
(O) God is Imaginary
(O) Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster
(O) Atheist Network
(O) Jesus Never Existed
(O) Evil Bible
(O) God f.a.q
(O) How Brain-Washing Works
(O) Parallels between Jesus and Horus
(O) Christianity is a COPY-CAT religion
(O) Christians stole flood story
(O) Christians stole Lucifer story

Heroes: