This is a safe place we can all go to share our insane addiction to this incestuous web that is myspace. We thought we lost it completely with friendster, myspace took us to a new level.
This page is about helping you realize what a big internet dork you are, and how hard we really are trying to be COOL ON THE FUCKING INTERNET.
YOU MAY BE A MYSPACE ADDICT IF:
- Check your email before your regular mail
Switch between showing yourself on and offline
Check to see if sent messages are read, and if they are, wonder (or stress the fuck out) whether or not the person is going to respond
Have done every survey known to man
You have committed Myspacide, only to rejoin two days later because you’re going nuts
Have friends all over the country that you have never met
Comments make you happier than actual compliments in person from someone (no one else can hear it or read it, what’s the fucking point?)
When you check your Myspace first thing in the morning and your heart drops when you see there are no new messages, no new comments, and only three people viewed you
You have lost friends over Myspace
You have a fake profile
Your friends send you a message rather than calling you
You have to be somewhere in ten minutes, you aren’t ready and still need to make a quick stop before that…yet you still get on myspace to see what’s new
You’d rather sit at home and hang out on Myspace then go out with your friends
You’ve pulled an all nighter on Myspace
You went to the Tyhooke party and couldn’t believe he didn’t reveal himself, you’ve been trying to figure this guy out since Friendster! Fuck!
Someone recognized you at a bar from Myspace and calls you by your screenname
You post a bulletin requesting new comments (this is total myspace attention desperation)
You do a weekly “clean up†of your friends list, going through each individual and figuring out ‘what have they done for me lately?’
You not only check your sent messages but delete the replied ones, just so you can keep extra tabs on those outstanding messages
Your heart begins to race and you feel the sudden urge to vomit when Pac Man appears on the screen
F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5
You delete people’s comments because you are actually worried about what assumptions the Myspace community is going to make of you
People post flyers on your site because you have 300+ friends and they know it will get some attention
You spend more time at work Myspacing than doing actual work
You don’t think you have a problem
You spend your whole vacation not enjoying yourself because you’re trying to find internet access
You actually let people know you are leaving town and not to worry, you’ll be back
New pictures!!! Every day!!!
You have traveled out of state to meet another myspacer
Losing your internet access due to a hurricane is the biggest tragedy you can think of…even bigger than losing your actual home
You take time out of your life to anagram out the word “Myspace Anonymous†You can meet people outside of Myspace?
Bulletin posts because you have a new “blogâ€
You are a swinger rather than ‘in a relationship’ because then more people will talk to you
You post a comment to someone who has to ‘approve’ their comments, then keep checking back to see if they approve it..then if they don’t, freak out, and wonder why you’re so lame.
New message icon makes your heart race
You are engaged to someone from you met on myspace
When the counter on your main page changes... do you go to your profile, everytime, to see if someone left you a new comment? Thanks, rebel girl!