John

I'll come right out and say it; I'm a weird guy - a walking anomaly, even. I am an ox, and a moron. I am a reverend with nary a religious bone in my body.
I suffer from a creativity deficit disorder. I attack people for their poor movie choices whilst donning dark glasses and a fake mustache to sneak out to the latest cheesy horror flick. I never met a Coen movie I didn't like. I own more knives than articles of clothing.
I once suffered a massive head injury. I'm filled with enough metal to set off the detectors at the airport. Bravery has never suited me. I believe that everything is a conspiracy. I'm the only man in Colorado who drives the speed limit.
I say "Keen" a lot. I'm the world's first straightedge alcoholic. I avoid thinking whenever possible. I'm a member of the vast right wing conspiracy. I'm nearly impossible to insult. I go off on bizarre rants with little provocation or notice. I'm a professional student who can't afford tuition bills. I have no ninjality.
I wear my sunglasses at night. I'm a compulsive movie watcher in desperate need of serious psychiatric aid or a good punch in the nose - whichever is cheaper and less painful (I lean toward the latter at the moment). Finally, I can convince myself of just about anything.
Aside from writing bizarre bios like the one above, he writes a great deal of fantasy and science fiction. His first book, "Storms of Vengeance" is now out in stores or available through Amazon.com and BarnesandNoble.com.