The Reverend Timothy Thinspittle

About Me

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Born in East London in 1829, my true age is of course 177, however, I am unable to display this with my iconograph owing to MySpace's institutionalised ageism. That I should have been bestowed with such endurance comes as great a suprise to myself as to any man given that my vices are both many and liberally indulged.Anyway, to the point. As I enter the autumn of my years I find myself wistfully looking back on a life of colour, excitement and, at times, outright depravity. Not to misunderstand me, I would change nothing if that I could, but when all is said and done what do I really have to show for it, trinkets and baubles, nothing of substance.So I have resolved to sire an heir.I use this medium in order to seek a companion apart from the collection of toothless crones that I have come to surround myself with, Father Time does not look so kindly upon my peers.Applicants must be sturdy of build, strong of spirit and amenable to all forms coition, even those which appear removed from the task in hand.
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My Interests

SluethingEnjoying the fruits of the poppy with my many syphallitic chums

I'd like to meet:

There's Stabby Jim on the left, rotten old sod makes Ebeneezer Scrooge look like the Tooth Fairy.

Television:

Tele-what?

Books:

I love those wonderful pictorial seaside albums that appear to move as you rapidly turn the pages.

Heroes:

Professor James MoriartyI used to live next door to Mr. Holmes and I'm here to tell you he was a right cock-jockey, always used to knock my door down in the early hours asking for tick. Then the rapscallion would try to abscond on the payment by claiming that it was his twin brother Ralf whom I'd previously had dealings with. Timothy Thinspittle danced a merry jig the day he heard old James had tossed him off a waterfall i can tell you.It's only a pity the bastard popped up again really but I'd already got the professor's name tattooed on my arse by then.

My Blog

Damn you The Honey Monster.

It's an accepted fact that human urine smells of sugar puffs. Only today however, did it dawn on me that the reverse is also true. My favourite breakfast cereal smells like piss. There I was h...
Posted by The Reverend Timothy Thinspittle on Sat, 13 Jan 2007 05:15:00 PST

The joy of photo booths

Today I had my picture taken in a photo booth, one of the ones where you get to see your picture and decide if you like it before it is printed; "If you would like to try again please press the back a...
Posted by The Reverend Timothy Thinspittle on Fri, 05 Jan 2007 12:37:00 PST

A brief note RE: Xmas

Spare a thought this yuletide as you're tucking into your turkey, or soya based seasonal beanfeast, for the suffering of poor Jesus. You see, being one of those unlucky kids born on Christmas day, our...
Posted by The Reverend Timothy Thinspittle on Fri, 22 Dec 2006 07:08:00 PST

What is you least favourite word?

My two least favourite words in the English language are, in no particular order, as follows: Gusset Crotch Actually no, that is the correct order. Anyhow, there does seem to be a theme to them,...
Posted by The Reverend Timothy Thinspittle on Sat, 16 Dec 2006 04:24:00 PST

Alphabetti spaghetti

I recently composed a new piece of bloggery to send out into the ether but on reading back it struck me that I most probably could eat a tin of alphabetti spaghetti and defacate a more enter...
Posted by The Reverend Timothy Thinspittle on Sat, 09 Dec 2006 04:54:00 PST

A new day dawns (literally)

I've discovered a new day. It's nestled right between Saturday and Monday. It only ever seems to appear to me when I remain at home and go to bed early on the Saturday night. I'm quite excited about i...
Posted by The Reverend Timothy Thinspittle on Fri, 24 Nov 2006 06:17:00 PST

Why I deplore eels.

Firstly, apologies to Boozy Panda, who has already had to listen to the following tale but I felt I needed to vent my spleen to a wider audience such is my malaise. I recently met with an ...
Posted by The Reverend Timothy Thinspittle on Tue, 14 Nov 2006 06:06:00 PST

Old dog

Well I tried to strike out on my own. Jim took it badly, predictably enough. He told me if I ever show my face at SJ's again he'll stab me in my eye. This from the man whose employ I have been in for ...
Posted by The Reverend Timothy Thinspittle on Sun, 01 Oct 2006 06:07:00 PST

I've had it with Stabby

I declare, if I have to endure another mind numbing night of pillow fluffing at Stabby Jim's Opium Pallace I'm just going to end it, heir or no heir. Jim man, he just won't modernise, kids these days ...
Posted by The Reverend Timothy Thinspittle on Thu, 21 Sep 2006 05:42:00 PST