Boozy Panda profile picture

Boozy Panda

24 hoursh in a day, 24 beersh in a cashe... coincidencesh?? i thinknkk NOT!

About Me

Hello there yoou bashtardsh, I'm BoOzy Panda.
I i'm an engllish pandaa who got mOved out to the nAtional Zoo in Washshington DC. *buRp* and thensh gOt deported back to good ole blightly after the zookeepersh foundd my illichit bamboo wine shtill behind the back of the feed shed!
When I'm not enjoying a pint and a fag (cigarette to you yanksh) on my favorite log, I enjoy pisshing off the zoo keepersh...'specally Norman . Norman takess mah booze away wizzle i'm not look'n n he hides me fagsh. Bastard. Desides, I'm not as drunk as some thinkle peep I am , betta check yo self. I've only had tee martoonies all day..and a shix pack of wudbeisa *hic* I fool so feelish, tha longer I sit here, tha drunkersh I get. *glug, glug glug*
I'll bite tha sac off anyone who tries ta shteal me lovely phyllostizzles (that's chuffin' latin fo` bamboo, thizzay is). See i can shay latin so im defnitlee not as drunk as some thinkle peep I am . Im a bad boy wit a lotta furry love to give!. Killa!
Shome of my rechent cover shot assignments...
MyGen Profile Generator ..

My Interests

Beer, fagsh, chomping on bamboo, pisshing of the zoo keepersh and playing drumsh...*hic*

Feel free to drawsh on me! *BuuuuRp*
Click Here to get this from pYzam.com!

I dugsh theshe cavesh below the zoo to shtore my cache of bamboo wine!! *hic*
Click Here to get this from pYzam.com!

Lazing in the shunshine with a cold beer..*glUg*
Click Here to get this from pYzam.com!

Me and Jen at St Paddy's...we had a blasht! *hic*
Click Here to get this from pYzam.com!

Me and my drinking buddie Rocco, hesh a cool kittie! *buuRp*
Create your own Draw On Me

I'd like to meet:

Nice female panda with huuugggee...black spotsh.all previous attemptsh at mating Norman hash tried have gone horrribly wrong...lthough to be honesht, i think i'd prefer good human lady instead. Bounce wit me. boozy panda --
[adjective]:

Having the texture of congealed cheese

'How will you be defined in the dictionary?' at QuizGalaxy.com

i just put up thish maaap that telsh me wher you alll live sho watch out, you may get a vishit froim *buRp* thish bboozee 'ol bear:

Music:

i like a bit of everyrthing but i prefere the smithsh and radiohead. *buRP*

Morrissey is my all time fave hero...

Movies:

i loev 'em. specially thrillersh and despressing onesh although my favorieiete movei of all time ish Withnail & I.

Television:



Oshterday's fine poem above, which I think needsh to be immortalizshed, here, forever....

and here'sh another fine exapcle of literary prose from GOD HIMSHELF!!!

Books:

ah jusssht finshedf rading stephen fry. he'sh a gewniush.

Heroes:

Sometimes I reflect back on all the beer I have consumed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, "It is better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver."
- Jack Handy
I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day.
- Frank Sinatra
The problem with some people is that when they aren't drunk, they're sober.
- William Butler Yeats
An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools.
- Ernest Hemingway
Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.
- Ernest Hemingway
Time is never wasted when you're wasted all the time.
- Catherine Zandonella
Reality is an illusion that occurs due to lack of alcohol.
- Anonymous
Drinking provides a beautiful excuse to pursue the one activity that truly gives me pleasure, hooking up with fat, hairy girls.
- Ross Levy
A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her.
- W.C. Fields
What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch?
- Tee Mans
When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
- Henny Youngman
Life is a waste of time, time is a waste of life, so get wasted all of the time and have the time of your life.
- Michelle Mastrolacasa
I'd rather have a bottle in front of me, than a frontal lobotomy.
- Tom Waits
24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?
- Stephen Wright
When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. Sooooo, let's all get drunk and go to heaven!
- Brian O'Rourke
You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline. It helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer.
- Frank Zappa
Always remember that I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.
- Winston Churchill
Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.
- Benjamin Franklin
My Grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle.
-Henry Youngman

My Blog

i'm awake and drunken than ever.

Yesh!! that'sh right kiddiesh! BP'sh back with morere drrunkene musingsh to help you while away a minute or too of exxtreme boreddom.Now, alot of you have been telling me that pandashg don't hibiberna...
Posted by Boozy Panda on Wed, 31 Jan 2007 06:29:00 PST

boozy panda's christmas message

so another year ish drawing to a closhe and it'sh at thish time that we should shtop and reflect on the year we're putting behind ush.thinkkkning back to my time here on myshpace, i realise that i am...
Posted by Boozy Panda on Fri, 15 Dec 2006 10:38:00 PST

new hairstyle.

Sho the reshultsh are in, and an overwhelming majoririty of you wantedde to shee me with a mohawk.I popped downn to Betty & Sheila'sh Hair Emporuiuim and got meshelf a new hairdo.The Frizz-Eashe w...
Posted by Boozy Panda on Fri, 17 Nov 2006 07:12:00 PST

press conference.

so i finally made it to amercia. the good ol' u sh of a.my new encloshure ish very roomy. Shteve the shquiirell ish alreadt working on a wine bottle width tunnel from the woodsh to my enclishure so i ...
Posted by Boozy Panda on Fri, 20 Oct 2006 05:21:00 PST

closing down party.

Sho the zoo hoshted a closing down party fro all the zoo shtaff lasht night.animalsh were not invited (bashtards). i played three man brag with kenny the aardvark and lossht a cashe of beer (double ba...
Posted by Boozy Panda on Tue, 17 Oct 2006 08:22:00 PST

breaking newsh.

norman jussht came and ttold me thAT THE shutton Coldfield Zoo ish Closing down!Appaarnetly, i'm shcaring away the vishitors with my horny and drunknken antics and subsehquently not enough revenue ish...
Posted by Boozy Panda on Thu, 12 Oct 2006 10:54:00 PST

birthday.

i'm shimply overwhelemd by all the lovely picturesh and greetingsh i got today, and there shtill coming in. wow.i'll let you knknow what i got up to tommorrow, if i wake up. *buRp*B.P's Birthday sched...
Posted by Boozy Panda on Wed, 27 Sep 2006 05:14:00 PST

serial swearer.

there'sh a sherial shwearer that keepsh lleaving obshenitiesh on me  doodle thingy *buRp* whoever it is is making me cry. *sob* even though thish site is an adult-drinnknking oreinted thing, i ca...
Posted by Boozy Panda on Mon, 25 Sep 2006 12:07:00 PST

frank.

Wednesday Lunchtime. Norman'sh got the week off work. He'sh gone on a camping holiday to Norfolk or summat. good feckin' riddancesh. Thish meansh I may have to bring forward my ehscape attempt. Frank ...
Posted by Boozy Panda on Wed, 02 Aug 2006 09:36:00 PST

rash.

Monday morning. Had a horrible weekend. A buhsload of shnot faced, puling bratsh poked sticksh at me all day, and then I found a rash on my inner thigh.Tried to hide it but Norman noticed it and appli...
Posted by Boozy Panda on Mon, 31 Jul 2006 05:40:00 PST