About Me
Well Hi! My name is Gracie Allen. I was born on July 26th, 1895. In fact, I was so surprised at being born that I didn't speak for a year and a half.
As a young girl, I went to church every sunday. The first Sunday I sang in the church choir, 200 people changed their religion.
Now, I'm married to my husband, George. I'm a very lucky woman. I was courted by the youngest, handsomest, most charming, most sought-after star in show business - but I still married George because I loved him.
I'm also very smart. I took a speed-reading course and finished 'War and Peace' in 20 minutes. It involves Russia.
I'm somewhat of a feminist. What have men got that women don't? Women make the best wives...the best mothers...the best sisters. No other sex can make this statement! And just look at Joan of Arc. They laughed at her, but she wen't right ahead and built it!
People often ask me about my religious beliefs. To them, I answer, "How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter?" And although I don't believe in the afterlife, I am bringing a change of underwear.
Since I'm not on the radio or TV anymore, sometimes it's hard to make a buck, so now I'm selling T-shirts. Come check out my GRACIE ALLEN T-shirts! (All you have to do is get the cheese off of your desk and click your mouse HERE! )
Our Krazy Kulture
Makers of retro designed T-shirts, buttons, tote bags, stash boxes, magnets, and more! Categories OLD TIME RADIO, Alice in Wonderland, Golliwogs & Gollywoggs, Vintage Cars, The Roaring Twenties, Science Fiction, The Golden Age of Advertising, and MORE!
Reporter: Miss Allen, my newspaper wants to know just what your platform is.
Gracie: Well, it's nutty pine trimmed with oak and inlaid with California redwood.
Reporter: So what do you think of the neutrality bill?
Gracie: Well, if we owe it, let's pay it.
Reporter: Miss Allen, would you recognize Russia?
Gracie: That's hard to say. You see, I meet so many people.
Reporter: Miss Allen, what do you think of our national debt?
Gracie: Well, we ought to be proud of it. It's the biggest in the world.
Reporter: Miss Allen, how would you keep our gold reserve from shrinking.
Gracie: I'd wash it in Lux.
Reporter: Miss Allen, is there anything that you can actually promise the voters?
Gracie: Oh sure, I can promise the voters that if I can't find a way to reduce the high cost of living, then we'll just have to do without it.
NEW BURNS & ALLEN SHOWS WILL BE ADDED EVERY TUESDAY NIGHT!
TUNE IN!
GRACIE'S
Q&A
Hello Gracie! I'm sorry I took so long to drop by, but you know how this business is. How are you? And how's George? Tell him to give me a call would ya'? And this time he better not hang up on me! I hope you're both doing well, I'm doing just fine. In fact, I'm living in a very modest place over-looking beautiful Claridge's Hotel. I thought it was better than paying Claridge's prices and over-looking the dump I'm living in. Well, take care Gracie!
Love,
Jack
Well Hi Jack!
It's so nice to hear from you. I told George to call you, and he said that he won't until you pay him for last month's luncheon. He said that the bill was $2.56 and you didn't want to break a five dollar bill. But George changed his tune when I told him that you were living at the dump.
How are Mary and Rochester? Is Rochester still with you? I ran into Don Wilson the other day. I couldn't understand a thing he was saying. Every time I would ask him something, he would reply, "Ellessemeftee!" I hope he gets better before your new season starts.
I must go now. Tell everyone that I said hi.
Love,
Gracie
P.S. By the way Jack, are you still selling Jello?
Can not imagine anyone going into theatre or comedy and not studying George and Gracie's timing and line delivery. They were the best,
bobby
Dear Bobby,
Aren't you sweet! But in reference to George's and my "timing and delivery," I'm afraid you're mistaken. Our time is the same as everybody elses and I've never delivered a line in my life -- although a few men have delivered them to me.
Thanks for the add and really appreciate hearing all the radio shows. My parents used to be in the audiences at the radio shows in Los Angeles. Gracie was really unique and one of a kind!! ciao~Dennis
Dear Dennis,
You are too sweet saying all of those nice things about me, but I'm really not one of a kind. I also have one brother and three sisters.
Love,
Gracie
You know, Gracie, I grew up watching you and George, and always thought he was a wonderful man, especially his fidelity to you, even after your demise. Don't feel bad, though--I passed away myself a few years ago. -Willard V.O. Quine
Dear Willard:
Thank you for your strange letter. I'm sure you meant well. You see, people keep telling me that I'm dead, but it seems that I recovered--and yes, George is a good man, but he never fidelitied me in his life.
Love,
Gracie
Thanks for the add Gracie! You are the best of the best! -D.W.
You are too sweet, but I'm not really the best of the best. If you'll remember, Franklin Roosevelt beat me in the 1940 election--that makes me only 2nd best.
Love,
Gracie
What a delight to have you as one of my friends. I'd vote for you, kid! Love, Pinkie
Thanks for your vote DP! And you'll love my platform. It's redwood trimmed with 'nutty' pine. I hope you'll be joining the Surprise Party soon! We need all the members we can get!
Love,
Gracie
P.S. I would like to meet your mother. Anyone who names their child "Dimestore" is alright in my book!
I'm a big fan. And my daughter Gracie will know all about you, as I'm also in possession of many of your husbands' books! Thanks for the add, Gracie! And rest in peace. -Matt
That was so sweet of you to name your daughter after me, and it's a good thing that you didn't name her after George or she would have been a boy.
Rest in peace to you too!
-Gracie
P.S. You better return George's books before he finds out.
What's keeping you in distress Gracie? -Joan Fontaine
Well, it's the funniest thing! I locked myself out of the house today after folding the lawn. I had to go next door and give Blanche the key that I keep under my door mat so that she could go inside and let me in.
Thanks for your concern!
Love, Gracie
Hello Gracie! Haven't seen you since we were in A DAMSEL IN DISTRESS! How are you?? -Joan Fontaine
Well hellooo Joan! I'm still in distress. Thanks for asking.
-Gracie
You're too sweet making George look smart all those years when we know who really had all the brains. -Rebecca
How nice of you to say so, but George isn't as dumb as he looks!
-Gracie
Been to your hat closet lately? -Enrique Sanchez
People don't wear hats so much anymore, so I just still have the same old hats. I'm thinking about throwing a masquerade party soon. Hats will be required.
-Gracie
Hi Gracie. Did you ever find your brother? -The Girl Genius
No, I never did. But that's okay, because I see him every Christmas!
-Gracie
