kathyclark for president, 2008

My name is kathyclark, and I'm running for president in 2008. That's right, president, baby. Because it's time for something radically different.
Who am I? And why should you vote for me? I'm nobody. And that's exactly why you should vote for me.
I am a member of the working class. I sweat and swear with the best of them. As such, I know what the working class person must endure today. I want to elevate our standard of living so that everyone enjoys a life that only the elite class enjoy currently.
We need to get past the notion that we can only choose a president from two categories, Category A and Category B. There are as many categories of candidates as there are people in America. Every American should run for president. Or at least think like a president.
What would you do if you were in charge of America?
Elected officials should represent the people and not themselves. But currently only the largest megolamaniacs in existence run for president. Just look at the money that funds their campaigns .
Wouldn't it be nice if current candidates raising $36 million dollars spent this money helping people rather than trying to get elected to office? Think of how that money could be used by schools, survivors of Katrina, Ground Zero rescue workers, to name a few.
Since I've decided to Save America in 2008, I'm running on the Super Hero ticket.
Getting to be president will be difficult for me under the current electoral system. The electoral college is archaic. It must be abolished and the entire process of holding elections should be completely revamped for the 21st century.
One tenth of the people who voted for the last American Idol voted in the last presidential election. Presidential candidates need to hold talent contests rather than debates.
Additionally, we need to hold presidential elections via internet and cell phones. Vote early, vote often.
On election day, there will be no television broadcasts except of obnoxious people reminding you to vote all day. It will be illegal to broadcast any shows - including re-runs of Sex in the City and Saved By the Bell - until elections are closed.
When I'm president, I will hold all press conferences from the presidential potty. I will attempt to achieve a bowel movement at the same time that I answer questions from the press. That way, all the crap will come out of my ass instead of my mouth. I feel that America deserves honesty and this is the measure I would take to insure I only speak the truth.
As president I will end the United States' occupation of Iraq.
We should follow Al Franken's exit strategy - give each individual Iraqi $10,000, say "I'm sorry," then leave - and open dialogue with our Middle East neighbors. Colin Powell agrees, talk is a good way to build relationships from the rubble.
My strategy for fighting terrorism is a bit unorthadox, I admit. I will call upon women around the world to menstruate directly into the ground every month. I believe this will satiate the earth's blood lust and killing will no longer be necessary. I will call this movement "Periods for Peace." No one's tried it yet, so my theory cannot be proven wrong.
I will launch a global nuclear disarmament initiative.
The military budget will be radically reduced. All the money that will no longer flow into the massive death and destruction disguised as "The War on Terror" will go towards paying off the national debt.
Additionally, I will utilize previous military funds to launch an Educate the Masses campaign. The steps involved in this campaign are as follows:
a) Thoroughly and properly train teachers for teaching.
b) Create more schools. Every neighborhood will have a school within walking distance. There will be a heightened demand for teachers as the number of schools increase. So.....
c) To encourage more people to enter the teaching field, and to insure that teachers' compensation is commensurate with the importance of their role in society, teacher's salaries will be raised to exceed those of lawyers.
d)Education - and the success of any teacher - will be measured not by students' test scores, but by an individual's ability to think independently and solve problems creatively.
e)Archaic educational practices will be abolished. An emphasis on spelling, for example, detracts from the creative process of individuals. Spelling phonetically should be allowed and even rewarded. New and evolving modes of written communication, such as leetspeak should be recognized as valid.
f)The challenges each individual must face as she or he pursues a life of happiness based upon her or his own interests, talents and goals must be identified. It will be the role of each individual's educators to prepare the individual for success in meeting these challenges.
Artists understand creative and independent thinking better than anyone. Their value to society is immense. Yet society fails to recognize this value in concrete terms.
It is time for society to recognize the value of artists by insuring that artists are highly paid. All forms of artist should be a valid career option to those of artistic inclinations. A new standard will be set for the adequate compensation of artists in America. The archaic stereotype of the struggling and hungry artist must die.
Our communities have become too dispersed. It is time to re-build centralized communities in which all basic needs are available within a radius small enough to allow easy access. Education, food, clothing, all the fundamentals of life should be completely central to housing.
Renewed focus will be given to independently owned and operated businesses as they are the foundation of a strong economic climate and a real community.
The planet is in trouble and it needs our immediate attention. Gasoline powered automobiles will become illegal. We have the technology to offer citizens of America clean energy vehicles.
In order to make room in the prisons for the renegades who choose to continue to drive the outlawed gasoline powered automobiles, I will legalize marijuana and prostitution, releasing all who currently serve time for perceived "offences" pertaining to these.
Cars that are no longer used and cannot be recycled in any other way will be stacked on top of each other and welded together to create sleep cubbies for people of a transient lifestyle.
Advanced train systems will be created in order to decrease our reliance on automotive transport.
Home energy alternatives will become the norm.
The amount of the earth's surface that is covered in asphalt and concrete is huge and needs to be countered by an increase in vegetation. Trees will be planted alongside existing highways. Rooftop gardens will be implemented on a grand scale.
Violence in our communities must cease!
In 2008, anger management and conflict resolution will become a part of every primary education: starting in kindergarten and continuing through high school. New curriculums will be developed teaching self respect, tolerance, community-building, anger management and conflict resolution throughout all the years of a child's primary education. This is imperative and will be a high priority.
The death penalty must be abolished. Violence perpetuates violence. Not the other way around.
I am deeply distressed by the human rights violations worldwide. My administration will work closely with organizations like Human Rights Watch and Amnesty International in order to be fully cognizant of these violations and to take right action. Economic sanctions can work if agressive enough and fully implemented.
Citizens of America deserve the right to equal healthcare. There is no excuse in perpetuating the monopolization of good health by insurance companies and drug companies. Everyone deserves to be healthy and when I am president, I will insure that fair and equal healthcare be provided to all Americans.
The world AIDS crisis demands immediate attention. Here in America, I would institute proper sex education as opposed to the preaching of abstinence. Fundamentally, our nation's views on sexuality must be altered.
HIV/AIDS Support must be offered to those in need, both victims of the disease and scientific researchers. I would prioritize the allocation of funding for these purposes. Humanitarian aid worldwide, including educational outreach, medical assistance, and the supply of basic human needs will be part of my agenda to become a nation accountable to its neighbors around the globe.
America has too long contributed to worldwide suffering. It is time for us to move in a completely new direction, upholding the truths of compassion and service.
The tragic loss of American lives on September 11, 2001 , will never be forgotten. We must investigate the events of this day and examine the questions that have been raised by countless physicists, engineers and architects to determine who is really to blame for the loss of our people's lives. We must answer these questions once and for all and bring the real culprits to justice.
We need to open dialogues with each other, people. We need to save our country from the many threats it currently faces: discrimination, poverty, ignorance, the corrupt ruling class, greed, consumerism, and the tendancy to isolate ourselves from each other and the rest of the world in our narrow-minded approach to problem-solving.
America can only be as strong as its individual citizens. We must elevate the poor, the hungry, the uneducated, the oppressed to the standards enjoyed by the elite class. We need to stop investing money and lives into the war in Iraq and as a nation, focus on our neighbors at home.
Try the BEST MySpace Editor at MySpace Toolbox !