too far gones - ProfilesArchive

About Me

Formed under the tutelage of 1960s British R'n'B prime mover and psyche guru, Jeff Lovestone, the band first cranked their amps in early 2006. The original (drummer-less) line-up included Pete, a young R'n'B genius and the Yardbird that should have been. Pete's freakishly tall and rumour has it that his head holds the sky in place. Pete's back hurts all the time because clouds are heavier than they look.
The Ulysses plays the organ and is in the unique philosophical position of being both the organ grinder and the monkey. The Ulysses introduced the rest of the band to Jeff Lovestone having met the guru at the same Ashram in India where Donovan snapped a B string and replaced it with one of Lovestone's hairs.
Matt's on bass and lives in a big machine full of wires, pistons and steam. There are claims that he can talk to machines like a 'horse whisperer' and was once seen talking down an answer machine whilst it was high on ketamine. His bass is loud, fast and deep. Like a big train underwater. Or something.
On vocals was a young homeless wanderer by the name of Mike. Mike wandered in and out of the band leaving little but great memories of his bluesy hollerings.
In July 2006, the original vocalist, Mike 'Gruff' Armitt, left and was replaced by Johnson. Initially, Johnson was thought only to exist within the pages of 'between the wars' Boys Own books. However, his deft harmonica wailings proved that this steely individual was far more than a mere cartoonish depiction of English resolve and refinement. A prince amongst men, a cad amongst ladies.
Then, in September 2006, an urgent telegram was sent to the boys. -- DRUMMER FOUND. stop. HULL BREACHED SHIP SINKING. stop. SEND HELP. stop. SOS. stop. -- Well, by the time the telegram reached the Too Far Gone H.Q., the ship had already sunk and a total of 367 lives were lost. The only survivor was Jimmy, the percussionist for the ship's orchestra, found floating adrift, delirious and moaning "the seagulls stole my paradiddles, the seagulls stole my paradiddles". Whether he fully recovers remains to be seen.
Best regards,
Evil Blyton

My Interests

Music:

Member Since: 8/11/2006
Band Members: Johnson - vocals, guitar, harmonica
Matt - bass, vocals
Petie Wheatstraw - lead guitar
The Ulysses - keyboards, vocals
Jim - drums

Influences: Jeff Lovestone
Nuggets, Pebbles and Rubble
Gonks Go Beat!
Wailers
Yardbirds
kaleidoscope the toys
Kaleidoscope the bands
Wilfred Bramble
Sonics
hedgewitchery
Suzie Creamcheese
Monkees
Charlie Watt's drum stool
Seeds
rioting on Sunset Strip
garage
feeding bees to Beatniks
The Banana Splits
freakbeat
beating freaks
Captain Beefheart's easel
Graham Bond
Standells
the green man
Artwoods
comics
Julie Driscoll's eye make-up
Brian Jones
Brian Jonestown Massacre
Electric Prunes
e-type Jags
Zombies (band, not the revenants)
Catweazle
Doors
spiral staircases
Billy Childish
Ray Davies chord progressions
H.P. Lovecraft the band
H.P. Lovecraft the writer
glass onions
Byrds
Birds
Syd Barrett's painted floorboards
The Prisoner
The Prisoners
Arthur Lee and Love
Bonzo Dog Band
Ye-Ye girls
13th Floor Elevators
broken Vox Continentals
Dukes of the Stratosphere
Shado U.F.O
Stuart Sutcliffe paintings
the Chap
Jack Bruce's filthy nicoteen fingers
Peter Cooke
flat wound bass strings
psychedelia
Incredible String Band
Keith Relf conspiracy theories
Zoot Money

Type of Label: None

My Blog

Carleton Hotel, Morecambe - 16th March 2007

My secretary is away having her illegitimate pregnancy terminated. I've sent her away to Margate for a month under the ruse of staying with her sister. This leaves me in the unimaginable position of h...
Posted by too far gones on Fri, 23 Mar 2007 04:38:00 PST

Cavern, Ashton-Under-Lyne - 17th February 2007

The curtains are drawn back and the soft swish of material overlaps into the gasp of the crowd. Somewhere, in the middle of the amassed throng, a woman falls to the floor unnerved by the spectacle bef...
Posted by too far gones on Sat, 10 Mar 2007 09:32:00 PST

Dear Mr. HMV Graphic Designer

To Whom It May ConcernI can only imagine your school reports went along the lines of 'has potential but is lazy in class; takes the easy route and is not averse to copying the work of other pupils.' N...
Posted by too far gones on Tue, 13 Feb 2007 04:03:00 PST

Room at the inn

It seems a star shone over Ashton on Christmas eve as our beardy bass player found a baby girl in his manger on Christmas day. This only leaves the rest of the band to decided who are the three wise m...
Posted by too far gones on Fri, 29 Dec 2006 02:56:00 PST

"Daddy, where do babies come from?"

To paraphrase the Bonzos:the world is so delighted,the children are so excited,'cause the stork has brought a lovely daughterto Mr. and Mrs. Jimmy Rae.Everyone concerned would like to pass on their be...
Posted by too far gones on Sat, 09 Dec 2006 03:13:00 PST

Cavern, Ashton-Under-Lyne - 18th November 2006

It seems there really is still a war on!Whilst hostilities continue on the Northern Fronts, elsewhere the people across God's England try their best to resume day-to-day living as best as possible. Th...
Posted by too far gones on Sun, 03 Dec 2006 03:43:00 PST

Barrow-In-Furness - 11th November 2006

Imagine, dear reader, a cold blustery town on the north west coast. A town drunk and forlorn on nostalgia for past glories and industries. A town where every man, woman and child appear to speak with ...
Posted by too far gones on Fri, 24 Nov 2006 01:12:00 PST

Bike and Hound - 21st October 2006

A toad in a cape, a 7ft tall freak, a fuzz-faced feral boy, a percussion savant and a human black hole of repression. Pulsating garage-psychedelia that broke both minds and hearts alike. This was one ...
Posted by too far gones on Sat, 28 Oct 2006 03:32:00 PST

All for the love of a fucking kettle

It seems the Too Far Gones are switching rehearsal rooms. The reasoning? "This new place has a kettle!" Yes, a kettle. The band are moving 3 miles to be nearer a kettle. It fucking says it all.Regards...
Posted by too far gones on Wed, 06 Sep 2006 10:03:00 PST

Nobody but them

Well, the Arthur Lee mix VST plug-in was returned to its spirit bottle and the tune was remixed (again).So, for your listening pleshure, ladles and genitalmen, I present the Too Far Gones take on 'Nob...
Posted by too far gones on Tue, 22 Aug 2006 03:53:00 PST