Entry Level: A Staffing -vs- HR Story - Episode 1
Cleveland Winter
Phone Phunny: Aims of Argument
Phone Phunny: HR Generalist Diversity Campaign
My Awful Standup @ Improv
Gaggle of Gooses
VOTE FOR clevelandclowns.com AS FUNNIEST SITE @
3steg.com
ENFORCED HAPPINESS SIGHTINGS-
AWFUL ACTOR B-DAYS FOR NOVEMBER-
LaTavia Roberson-01, Lyle Lovett-01, Nelly-02, KD Lang-02, Stefanie Powers-02, Ray Walston-02, Dolph Lundgren-03, Alexz Johnson-04, Sean Combs-04, Ralph Macchio-04, Jeff Probst-04, Markie Post-04, Doris Roberts-04, Tatum O'Neal-05, Sam Shepard-05, Glenn Frey-06, Rebecca Romijn-06, Dana Plato-07, Jack Osbourne-08, Tara Reid-08, Mary Hart-08, Sisqo-09, Nick Lachey-09, Chris Jericho-09, Lou Ferrigno-09, MacKenzie Phillips-10, Sinbad-10, Peta Wilson-11, Calista Flockhart-11, Marc Summers-11, Omari Grandberry-12, David Schwimmer-12, Wallace Shawn-12, Whoopi Goldberg-13, McLean Stevenson-14, Zena Grey-15, Sam Waterson-15, Trevor Penick-16, Lisa Bonet-16, Isaac Hanson-17, Andre Charles-17, Linda Evans-18, Brenda Vaccaro-18, Dick Cavett-19, Mischa Mandel-20, Veronica Hamel-20, Kaye Ballard-20, Juliet Mills-21, Marlo Thomas-21, Mariel Hemingway-22, Jamie Lee Curtis-22, Robert Vaughn-22, Salli Richardson-23, Katherine Heigl-24, John Larroquette-25, Ricardo Montalban-25, Robert Goulet-26, Jaleel White-27, Robin Givens-27, Rick Rockwell-27, Scarlett Pomers-28, Anna Nicole Smith-28, Jeff Fahey-29, Kim Delaney-29, Howie Mandel-29, Kaley Cuoco-30, Mandy Patinkin-30, Dick Clark-30, Robert Guillaume-30
Golf Cart Girl of the Week-
Amber from Mayfield Hts., OH
Age:22
Hometown: Mayfield Hts., OH
Course: Highland in 44122
Interests: Scuba diving and exploring sunken ships; puzzles
Turn-ons: Nice calves, sensuous tip, sloppy uneducated Mexican accents, Queen Latifa lovers, and good with kids
Turn-offs: Sweet nothings that are really about nothing; Seinfeld fanatics
Duration: 6 months
Worst Pickup Bump: "Excuse me, have we fucked yet?"
Phatest Tip: $200
Favorite food: Ranch dressing
Why I like being a Cart Girl: "Seeing all the boys play with their shafts and balls "
Future plans: Zoology
School: Loyola University @ Chicago
Major: Marketing
Sexual Orientation: Straight ("sorry guys")
Greatest Accomplishment: 7th Grade - Creative Writer Award
Marital Status: Single
CD That's In My Car Right Now: Queen Latifa- Black Reign
Last Movie You Watched and Approved: Bringing Down the House
Milk Preference: Soy
AWFUL LOCAL COMMERCIAL OF THE MONTH-
Marc the "Norton Furniture Guy"
Patio Enclosures Idiot Broad
Andrews Cycles Moron Who No One Wants to Be Like
Sofa Express Asshole Who Is So Annoying and Doesn't Know Shart
Those Cheesy "Car Guys" Who Don't Know Dick About Cars
Yaz! Birth Control Gals Who Talk Regularly Like Walking Billboards
Mr. Hero Commercial
EBAY ITEM OF THE WEEK-
"THE WORLD FAMOUS FLYING PIG MONOPOLY PIECE"
THERE'S A BIG DIFFERENCE BETWEEN-
Aquafina and the rest of the water world. This shit tastes like Louie Anderson's ball sweat after having been paraded around in mesh shorts wearing no underwear for 32 straight hours and jacked up on yay.
Hostess Ho-Hos ($3.21) and Little Debbie Swiss Cake Rolls ($.98). Ho-Hos taste much better. Choosing Swiss would be like choosing to keep the brown part of your asshole when you could receive a free bleaching...Although, that shit's weird (insert fart noise).
Drinking liquids through sipping straws and doing it the regular drinking way. If you drink it, it quenches your thirst much more...just think about your whole mouth getting filled with the fresh, delicious treat as opposed to just your throat.
..clevelandclowns.com/data/straws.jpg"
Stand-up and standing up. About 98.7% of the world does the latter while a 987th of that doing the former. You can't really be good at the latter, although I've been proven wrong about that once.
I saw someone who was so good at the latter that I told him he should try the former, because he would win over the audiences so quick just by doing the latter. Man that guy was good at standing up!
Dank and Schwag. One's $20 and other is $50 for the 8-track. One causes headaches while the other makes you forget what your head is. One works sometimes and other is guaranteed
(comes with a box of shit with a "Guarantee" mark on it). One can get sold in the place of the other if you can find the right college kids. Oh! And tell the brothers in East Cleveland that I'm not one of those college kids.
Being talented/working hard and having the best agent within your industry. Rover is so bad.
..clevelandclowns.com/data/radio.jpg"
FISHERFEM OF THE MONTH-
Monica from Huron, OH
Type of Fish: Smallmouth Bass
Number of Fish: 3
Location: Sandusky, OH
Test Line (lbs): 6
Rod Type-Berkley Ultra Light
Lure: Firetiger Jointed Rapala
Technique: Casting
Favorite Thing to Do On Land: Have sleepovers with my girlfriends and invite random guys to watch and join.
COMIC STRIPS-
Sergio Garcia is Gay...I've Got the Proof
OFFICE CHEAT OF THE WEEK:-
1. When reading a personal email, copy and paste the message into a new email message (within your office email software program), so the boss thinks its all business
2. Pick up the phone and snag a quick nap...the boss will think you're on the phone with someone and deep into conversation; but put sticky note over part that reflects activity on the phone, in case your boss worked @ Aerotek.
PLUS SIZE PLUMPITY PLUMP PLUMP OF THE FATTY FAT FRIDAY-
Fancy from Frankfurt, Germany
Age: 27
CC: What was your very first paying job and how long did it take you to get it after you found an agency?
F: My first paying job was for Master Sam's Furniture Department store in East Cleveland off of St. Clair and I booked it the day after the year and half anniversary of my contract.
CC: How often do you work?
F: Before 9/11, I was working on average once a bi-yearly during off-season seasonal time.
CC: Have you worked overseas or abroad?
F: I haven't been fortunate enough to travel afloat yet, although there has been some interest from some German clients so I'm keeping my fingers crossed for this season.
CC: Is being a plus size model as exciting as you thought it would be?
F: It didn't really sink in until I went home for Christmas this year. The newspaper my brother makes for the family did a story on me and I was recognized when I went out into the kitchen. That was a bit surreal, I kept thinking "I'm nobody!!!" but when you come from a small town and everyone stays there forever,
it means something when someone does leave to follow their dreams. The best part was when a group of my sisters who were all bigger approached me and told me that seeing me
in a catalogue made them feel beautiful because their bodies looked like mine. That is exciting, knowing that in some way you're impacting people's lives in a positive way.
CC: What has been your most exciting or intimidating experience as a model?
F: Not long after I started last season I was at a casting for a Chilean catalogue. There were about 200 girls there who were a size 3 and one of me.
Thankfully another plus model arrived and we started talking, she looked familiar but it didn't click until I looked at her book.
I blurted out, "Oh my God!!! You're Barbara Brickner!!! It's so nice to meet you, I'm a huge fan!!!" She just laughed and said
thank you and graciously pretended not to notice what a dork I was :-) The next thing I know I'm surrounded by Kayla Laurene, Liis and Ginger... three of the biggest names in the plus world.
Needless to say I managed to get through the rest of the casting and before I left stumbled through a star struck speech about how they
were such an inspiration to me. That has probably been my dorkiest and yet the coolest moment as of yet because that was when it really started to feel real fatty fat.
CC: What advice would you give to the aspiring/beginning plus-size model?
F: The fashion industry is fiercly competitive where unobtainable ideals are the standard. So my advice is:
1. Be honest with yourself and realistic in your goals. 2. Be prepared to be rejected....A LOT! 3. LISTEN to what other models, agents, stylists, photgraphers, or any
industry professional has to say. 4. Remember, you agent works for you so don't let anyone take control of your career away from you.
CC: How has PlusModels influenced your career or helped you out?
F: PlusModels was instrumental in starting my career. This site is where I located the addresses and how to's for my mass mailing to the agencies.
I gained a good deal of invaluable knowledge from the other models and photgraphers on this site in regard to handling situations and making decisions because they'd
already "been there" and "done that".
CC: What are your long term goals in the industry?
F: I would love to maintain a modeling career for as long as possible, however my passion is performing and I'm hoping this will be a means to an end in regard to my acting career.
The contacts and networking modeling affords me are truly an invaluable resource.
CC: Ho-Hos or Twinkies?
F: Twinkies
CC: Sprees or Chewy Sprees?
F: Chewy Sprees
CC: Porn in the Future:
F: Future?
