Croydon profile picture

Croydon

Wimbledon can suck my Clocktower

About Me

Hi, i'm Croydon, the home of Nestle. But I dont just produce Kit-Kats and instant coffee. I am also an incredible urban sprawl often mistaken for New York, Tokyo and San Fransisco.I have cinemas, a swedish furniture store, a huge cultual diversity, swinging nightlife and the Fairfield Halls (which boasts performances from such immense talent as Status Quo and Basil Brush).There is always something going on in this whacky town... for example, Friday and Saturday nights are "Chav Safari".So come to Croydon and for heavens sake, enjoy yourself!Keep it real!

My Interests

Trams. Clean air (my streets seem to wreak of vomit come Sunday morning). Swedish furniture. One way systems. Flyovers. Car parks. Dodgy taxi firms. Dodgy kebab shops. Promoting my numerous bands. All products made by Nestle.

I'd like to meet:

People that live in me, bands that play in my various venues, trams and any other cities that wish to make friends me.No chavs/pikeys/scallies/kevs/etc... you are a stain upon my face and I despise you greatly.

Music:

The Pins, Ten Foot Nun, Arko Volcano, Wonk Unit, Kobayashi, Miss Nicaragua, Von Kleet, Evil Genius, Everything & Nothing, Satatlite... more Croydon bands please!

Movies:

The Da Vinci Code. As filmed in the Fairfield Halls. If its good enough for Tom Hanks, its good enough for you!!

Television:

Peep show, The Bill and 118 adverts. Anything filmed in Croydon.

Books:

"Croydon Airport:The Peaceful Years" by Mike Hooks, "On The Run:A History of The Croydon Fire Brigade" by Eddie baker and last but not least... the best book in the world ever... "A-Z Croydon Street Atlas".

Heroes:

All Croydonians, you're the best!

My Blog

The good and bad of Croydon

Got myself in the papers! http://iccroydon.icnetwork.co.uk/news/headlines/tm_method=fu ll%26objectid=19227118%26siteid=53340-name_page.html#story_c ontinue   On a much sadder note, my thoughts...
Posted by Croydon on Thu, 21 Jun 2007 10:50:00 PST

Making a point...

Croydon chavs are cunts. Discuss...
Posted by Croydon on Tue, 13 Mar 2007 03:11:00 PST

Dangerous times...

With all this talk of bombs  an terrorists and stuff... do we think that the Ikea twin towers are protected enough? Its too obvious a target if you ask me. That and the NWA buildi...
Posted by Croydon on Fri, 13 Oct 2006 05:41:00 PST

OH SWEET JESUS!!

THE FUCKING HOFF! SURELY THE GREATEST THING TO HAPPEN IN THE WORLD EVER! AFTER YEARS OF WAITING THE LEGEND HIMSELF FINALLY COMES TO VISIT ME! (ALBEIT IN WOOLWORTHS) THANK FUCK! http://www.croydonguard...
Posted by Croydon on Mon, 04 Sep 2006 02:03:00 PST

The Great Chavopolis

I'm sorry my beautiful people, but I must vent some. Why is it that I am considered such a horrible place to be for so many people? The answer of course is obvious and need not be dwelled on. The pro...
Posted by Croydon on Tue, 11 Jul 2006 02:00:00 PST

Straight Outta Croydon

In my need to get my new building made (see previous blog), I have adapated an NWA "clack" to fit the wonderful town you call home. N.L.A.Straight Outta Croydon (2006)Croydon's N the HouseAh yea...
Posted by Croydon on Wed, 05 Jul 2006 09:10:00 PST

The NWA tower...

Hello children of Croydon... Yes, I am horny. I tried dry-humping Mitcham earlier but she was sleeping and none too pleased about my more than apparent testosterone levels. Anyway... on with the ...
Posted by Croydon on Fri, 23 Jun 2006 04:25:00 PST

Who thinks I need a moat?

Hello Croydonians!! I have recently discovered an answer to the question that all of you (and myself) have been wandering since you made that lifechanging move to Croydon (some of you have b...
Posted by Croydon on Wed, 21 Jun 2006 02:06:00 PST