Jesse Gersten - ProfilesArchive

About Me

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Left for dead as a newborn in the terrifying Congolese jungle, Jesse Gersten was raised by a savage yet nurturing family of Baboons. Brought up as one of their own, Jesse learned many valuable lessons such as swinging from vines, stand-up comedy, and slinging poo. Freak circumstances placed Jesse right in the middle of Boston's vibrant comedy scene where these skills helped him to quickly become one of Boston`s top young feature acts. In addition to taking slipping on a banana peel to a whole new level, drunk crowd members hardly ever throw tomatoes, knowing full well that the consequence will be a face full of poo.

Over the past decade, Jesse has performed with Larry the Cable Guy, seen Nipsey Russell live, and won a wet t-shirt contest, narrowly beating out 2 cagey strippers. Jesse's performances have elicited such post-show audience comments as, you were funny too, do you have a sweating problem, are you really a Jew, and you made me laugh so hard I didn't know if I peed myself or had my period. Find out for yourself why the Sangre de Christo Chronicle wrote "I didn't comprendÃ© most of his jokes, but other people were laughing, so I must assume that Jesse is one hilarious gringo"

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My Blog

Exotic Chicken Lap Dances

Woman does 'mouth-to-beak' to save chicken ARKADELPHIA, Ark. (AP) Thank goodness, I was getting tired of doing posts about people from Kentucky. And I would have given anything to have been a fly on t...
Posted by Jesse Gersten on Sun, 10 Feb 2008 11:53:00 PST

3 Men and a Baby Jesus

HOMESTEAD, FL (NBC) -- South Floridians have claimed to see holy images in things like grilled cheese or a pancake. On Thursday, a Homestead, Florida man said he saw Jesus in an X-ray he had taken of ...
Posted by Jesse Gersten on Sun, 09 Dec 2007 02:21:00 PST

Marrying Doggy Style

Indian Man Marries Dog to Ward Off Curse P. Selvakumar, 33, said he had been suffering since he stoned two dogs to death and hung their bodies from a tree 15 years ago. To atone for this, he married a...
Posted by Jesse Gersten on Wed, 14 Nov 2007 06:48:00 PST

Newborn Birthing Fluids

4 Things1Someone said to me today that there is nothing worse than a Summer cold. I politely beg to differ. The top 2 things on my list of things that are worse than a Summer cold are, not in any part...
Posted by Jesse Gersten on Sun, 11 Nov 2007 01:03:00 PST

Poop in the Tooth

I had a tooth implant put in. I deeply regret that I chose a standard white tooth instead of the aquari-implant, complete with a live Sea Monkey with full habitat living inside of it. He would swim in...
Posted by Jesse Gersten on Fri, 09 Nov 2007 08:48:00 PST

Pinch Their Testicles

Yesterday I stopped at a store to pick up a water gun to use in training my new kittens to not hop on the coffee table. An employee offered to help and when I told her what the gun was for she started...
Posted by Jesse Gersten on Thu, 08 Nov 2007 04:27:00 PST

Stuffed Sheep Dingleberries

Hundreds Line Up For Sheep Testicles(AP) VIRGINIA CITY, Nev. Hundreds of people waited in lines for up to an hour for a chance to taste something different at the 16th annual Mountain Oyster Fry.Mount...
Posted by Jesse Gersten on Mon, 09 Apr 2007 05:43:00 PST

Hunt for the Homeless

I wanted to announce the 1st annual Easter Egg Hunt for Homeless Kids this Saturday night at 10:30 PM. I'm doing it Saturday night so that I can sleep in Sunday morning and wake up to make myself choc...
Posted by Jesse Gersten on Sat, 07 Apr 2007 06:49:00 PST

Smuggling Nemo

Australian Sentenced For Smuggling Fish In Dress(AP) MELBOURNE, Australia An Australian woman was sentenced Friday to nine months of community service work for smuggling protected fish from Asia in h...
Posted by Jesse Gersten on Fri, 02 Mar 2007 02:54:00 PST

Green Eggs and Bile

FIVE THINGS Thing Uno Yesterday I ran into an 80 year-old lady whose cell phone ringtone was Justin Timberlake's "Bringing Sexy Back", which resulted in me Bringing Breakfast Back. Back up through my ...
Posted by Jesse Gersten on Sun, 18 Feb 2007 01:13:00 PST