Leather bears. Eliminating war Profiteering. Sifting through bags of Baked Lays to look for chips shaped like Sean Hannity.
Lee Scott, the CEO of Wal-Mart, and challenge him to a break-dance off. Michael Flaherty, previous to meeting Lee Scott, to teach me eurocentric ways to beat someone in a break-dance off. Gandalf, before he became Gandalf the white, when he could take a g*ddamn joke. "Oh Gandalf, now that you're the white wizard, is it easier for you to get a home loan at the bank?" BANG. Lightning bolt the adam's apple and you're toast. The original Catwoman. George W. Bush doing an impersonation of the original Catwoman excitedly stumbling upon a saucer of whole milk because he thinks no one is looking.
Ani DeFranco (total lez!), the part of Wayne's World where Garth solos a portion of Bohemian Rhapsody, the sound Tom DeLay makes when he every now and again remembers he's not a deity, Cat Stevens (pre-terrorism), Cat Stevens (post-terrorism)
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Metal Valor: The Unofficial Donald Rumsfeld Bulimia Recovery and Anti-Graffiti Manifesto Story, The first two Harry Potters, The Unbearable Lightness of Being, Zagats: Chicago, Merle Haggard: How I used lightning to try to hurt the President, but it turned out I had just been drinking and blacked out and woke up wearing my friend's potted plant dirt, The West Wing: Season 1 Transcripts (w/ expletives deleted)
The fictional version of the president on the West Wing who has actual scruples, Abbie Hoffman, Skeletor (pre-terrorism), Al Franken (post-terrorism), germs.