Miss Jennifer profile picture

Miss Jennifer

So what of this NEW LEARNING that the earth is BANANA SHAPED?

About Me

Okay, let us get ONE thing STRAIGHT. I am all about CON-VER-SAY-SHUN--INTENSE conversation--the kind of conversation that can totally change the feeling in a room for better or for worse. Ok so, I'm also a total theatre girl right now, self-educating, meeting great people and learning lots! I'm also a writer and an actor. I've written a few screenplays and around twenty five kooky short plays with even more still kicking around in my head. I was born in Chicago. I'm a radio addict and coffee addict. I drink beer purely for the taste--the buzz is just a happy side-effect. Contrary to most people's envy of the weather we experience in LA, I'm not a big fan of it. The air has no smell or feel to it really. It's kinda like fake, generic antiseptic, Hollywood weather. It has no soul. Plus I'm not a big fan of the incessant, oppressive sunlight. I've been told I should move to Seattle as I love cloudy, overcast rainy days. But I'm addicted to LA and it's addicted to me. Plus all my stuff's here. I like lemon in my iced tea, lime in my water, chocolate in my coffee and...more lemon in my tea...hot tea that is...and daytime TV depresses me. My friend Christian got me into this...why and how I'll never know...but he did. I know phoentics and lately I like to use the word "Boffo" a lot. My Dad is is a college professor. My mom is a librarian. My cat's name is Melvin. He is a claims adjustor...or at least CLAIMS to be! Ha ha! I'm a Pisces and hate bleu cheese. And I don't like olives but love olive oil (go figure). I started off in ballet. But then I got hips and boobs like a big girl should and that ended that! (In ballet you're supposed to be all heroine sleek--and most actresses aren't far behind. But I'm curvy and sometimes very proud of it--but only sometimes...) At the tender young age of thirteen, I switched over to acting and musical comedy but only because the mime world wouldn't have me. James Bond Movies TOTALLY BORE ME. And it's probably no surprise that I believe in keeping my kitchen stocked full of all kinds of different teas and coffees. My favorite letter in the alphabet is the letter "X" and I think a little to medium amount back fat on either sex is sexy. Here's to dorsal pulchritude! (Yeah, I used to pinch my ex-boyfriends little love handles!--only in the softest of caressing ways--and he LIKED IT! But seriously...who hasn't--c'mon now!) One of the the things that fascinates me most about humanity (currently) is people's ability to get something they've always wanted and be very swept away by it and somewhat happy...but, at the same time--NOT. Damn and bless the push/pull gestalt of the human psyche I say! It's a fascinatin' thing!Turn Offs: Two facedness, People who act like they want to be your friends but are really never there for you and people who can't be bothered to return phone calls or emails. The telephone and THE ELECTORAL COLLEGE!!!Things I Love: The Human Clock! www.humanclock.com--check it out!More things I love: other Jennifers (I just get along with my own...what can I say?) Other Pisces (See previous comment), Chocolate...the darker the better, Chocolat (The Restaurant on Melrose across from The Improv), Sunflowers and Deep red roses, animals and inclement weather. Oh, and sleep:Right now I'm content to write, act, improv, paint and make my own jewelry, be creative in any way I can, and just hang out and drink coffee with my friends.I grew up in Germany, France, Denmark and Mass. Of all places, Mass is the prettiest but COPENHAGEN RULES! And again: ICED BLENDED MOCHAS are the BEST DRINK EVER INVENTED!!!
LAYOUTS AND MORE AT BLINKYOU.COM

My Interests

This BEAUTIFUL face!Making SOMEthing out of NOthing, the blank page, establishing shots, the first slug line, scene headings, fooling around with accents, people's life stories, the 1920s, 1940s, 1960s 1970s early eighties and today but only the GOOD PARTS, British Humor, DO-OVERS, apologies and clean slates, being spooned...Staying Interested--this is the key to life. If ya not interested, then ya got nuthin'! But seriously, swimming, painting...watching paint dry, ROCK CONCERTS, travelling--at least the IDEA of travelling--the moon,yoga, outer space, reading, dancing, sk8ing, writing, coffee, essential oils...oily essentials, Whole Foods, Conspiracy Theories (the whackier the better!), Harrassing Ryan Seacrest fo sho :), Nostalgia,Things that are weird, Things that are round, Guys named Gus, Brunch, Philosophical Discussions at three o'clock in the morning, Salsa Dancing...acting...acting like a @$%^& and annoying my friend Christian!Oh, and ICED BLENDED MOCHAS ARE THE BEST DRINK EVER!!!!

I'd like to meet:

People who are hard of hearing, Men with really big boobs... BALD GUYS WITH PONYTAILS--I live for walking oxymorons--way to keep the hope alive fellas!!! Guys named "Skip", "Chip" "Chuck" and "Flip", the bastard son of King Henry the Eighth, those two fat guys on motorcycles from the Guinness Book of World's records, let's seee...a talking mute would be good... a female cat with male pattern baldness, oh, and people who are afraid of cheese. GEORGE NOORYOh yeah and THIS GUY--Why not right? He's just sittin' there, smilin' waiting for the next best to happen... Could he not stand to merge engergies--swap some groove-vibes with the Jenn-meister...even though she's old enough to be one of his babysitters? (I swear yeah, I'm REALLY IMMATURE for my age though)...S0, in the end, what's the diff???:Ha-yummmmm!

Music:

What I'm listening to now: CAKE, B. B. King, Royksopp, DAFT PUNK, MC 900 Ft. Jesus,Gorillaz, Ima Robot, Dox Haus Mob, One Handed Molly, Basement Jaxx,Fleetwood Mac, Lenny Kravitz, Tori Amos, The Commodores, The Stones (Oh Yeah, finally saw them in concert this year--a Bigger Bang yeah baby!), All Those One-Named Divas everyone knows--Diana, Aretha, Mariah, Whitney, Mary J. JLO (yes JLO) Madonna..you know the like...Linkin Park and pretty much any kind of music per se...Rock, Classic Rock, Weird Indie-shit rock, Jazz--particularly Blues Night and Swing weekend on KKJZ!,Disco, Soul, Funk, Hip Hop, R & B, Gospel, Blues, Fusion, Electronicia, Trance, Country, Classical, Rap, Cheesy 80's music, Cheesy 70's music, International and Salsa. Though I'm not big into polka and bag pipes...the bag pipes gotta go!
..

Movies:

Gandhi, American Beauty, Close Encounters of the Third Kind, Amadeus,Abbott and Costello movies,Koyaanisqatsi,Powaqqatsi & Naqoyqatsi, Witness, Waitress, The Fisher King, Searching for Bobby Fischer, Trainspotting, Clerks, Chasing Amy, The Matrix (the first one only!!!), The Sound of Music,Star Wars: A New Hope (The first/fourth one Dingleberry) Empire Strikes Back, Bliss(A riveting tale about Tantric sex...starring Terrence Stamp...now if you could combine a Tantric Sex movie with Star Wars, wouldn't that be somethin'? "Search your feelings Luke. Search HER feelings. Use the tongue Luke! Use your Yang Luke!"),Manhattan,...and the cinematography therein...Manhattan Murder Mystery, Play it Again Sam,Annie Hall and pretty much anything Woody Allen,Clueless (was in that one) Fearless, Highschool High, Monty Python's Holy Grail, Romance with a Double Bass (starring a very naked John Cleese), Napoleon Dynamite, Forrest Gump, Welcome to the Doll House, Muriel's Wedding, Strictly Ballroom Anything Richard Linklater, Anything Ed Burns,The Right Stuff2001: A Space Oddysseyandand Grand CanyonFAVORITE CHEESY ROMANTIC COMEDIES FROM MY CHILDHOOD:andSERIOUSLY, WHY DON'T THEY MAKE MOVIES ABOUT JAZZ DANCING ANYMORE????BEST (MOST ROMANTIC) MOVIE MONTAGE EVER (Aww look you can even see the Twin Towers):In this one, you can even see the Hollywood Bowl in the beginning! Little did I know I would one day work there! Hollywood Bowl combined with cheesy anime...how can you beat it?And corny/funny/romantic/pedantic/moving montages in general:

Television:

Conan O'Brien and SNL are the only things I ever care if I watch anymore! Everything else be damned! I am really much more of a radio girl now.FAVORITE RADIO SHOWS: The Stephanie Miller Show and The Randi Rhodes Show (Air America AM 1150) The Aware Show and Jerry Quickly Show and Sometimes Democracy Now! on Pacifica KPFK 90.7, Coast to Coast AM (on the--too conservative for me--KFI) Morning Becomes Eclectic and Metropolis on KCRW. Screw the all-media pooches!But when I DID watch more TV I liked: Freaks and Geeks(the best damn TV show ever taken off the air prematurely. And that's exactly how it was. I mean, I wasn't in highschool in 1980 but those people were my babysitters I tell ya and that's exactly how it was!) Seinfeld (Wrote a goofy spec script for that one just to see if I could do it and I could!) Monty Python's Flying Circus re-runs, Benson, Mr. Belvedere, The Jeffersons,All in the Family (AKA Archie Bunker), Family Guy, Leave it to Beaver, Diffr'nt Strokes...Sesame StreetRetro-Stuff (anything Nick at Nite--as evidenced in the following:...and of COURSE...all manner of any earthy crunchy 70s educational shows:Oh yeah and one of my new guilty pleasures (on DVD):

Books:

I'm with the Band--Pamela Des Barres, Life After God--Douglas Coupland, Persuasion--Jane Austen, Return of the Native--Thomas Hardy, Wasted--Marya Hornbacher, Missing Time--Budd Hopkins, The Bell Jar--Sylvia Plath, Catcher in the Rye--JD Salinger (so trite, I know...everyone loves this one) Postcards from the Edge and Surrender the Pink--Carrie Fisher (aka Princess Leia--and a total comic genius if you ask me--but nobody has...) Without Feathers--Woody Allen (another comic genius fo sho) Backwards and Forwards--David Ball, Conversations with God I, II and III by Neale Donald Walsch, The Door of Everthing--Ruby Nelson, The Hilarious Adventures of the Nearsighted Mr. Magooand any Asterix and Obelix comic book.

Heroes:

Let's all be our own heroes alreadY--AND ACT LIKE THEM TOO! Gawd! But actually if I HAD TO PICK:"A Society that does not honor its women is doomed to fail." Not only that, she stops wars with love!Oh and...Another hot funny writer chick with glasses. What's NOT to love?

My Blog

Somebody No One Knows or Cares about Just Shaved Their Head and Returned to Rehab

...Yet Another One of my Mock Onion Articles...   Somebody No One Knows or Cares About Just Shaved Their Head and Returned to Rehab   (Hey There Ya Lightbulb head--hayuck hayuck!:)  ...
Posted by Miss Jennifer on Mon, 05 Mar 2007 10:31:00 PST

The Steam is On!!!

That's it  Okay, a few days ago I started steaming again!!!--Not a lot but a little...just to enough to assuage my fears hypochondriachal or otherwise...so, Yay! PS.  If you don't know ...
Posted by Miss Jennifer on Fri, 26 Jan 2007 09:05:00 PST

OMG I Don't Steam Anymore. What the Hell's Wrong With Me?

Despite my annoyance at the unseasonably seasonal cold weather in LA this post-holiday season, I counted on one thing to keep me amused...steaming...pretending to be a freight-train....ol' school styl...
Posted by Miss Jennifer on Mon, 15 Jan 2007 09:21:00 PST

The Article I Wrote for The Onion

...if I wrote 4 the Onion...this is just about what they'd get! AREA CAT REFUSES TO EAT DINNER:   Local Droodle county cat: Gordon Gasser refused to eat his dinner Wednesday night.  Sources ...
Posted by Miss Jennifer on Wed, 22 Nov 2006 11:56:00 PST

D Cups and Debilitation

D-Cups and Debilitation    Okay so I'm not a D-Cup&but a C&a very proud 42 C&an unconventional bra-size to be sure but a notable one nonetheless.  And I've had my fair share of back pa...
Posted by Miss Jennifer on Tue, 21 Mar 2006 01:58:00 PST

Do Men think Women Really Buy this Shit?

So, okay so...I log on to My Space today and I see I've gotten a message. "Oh Joy!" Quoth I to myself being in sensitive and jovial humor..."I wonder who ever might it be?" Lo and Behold it's from som...
Posted by Miss Jennifer on Sat, 04 Mar 2006 12:19:00 PST

I Think I Need a Monacle

So I was at the gym last night and I'm not wearing my glasses--'cause that would just look totally stupid to wear glasses and work out and I'm not nearsighted so much that I can't make out basic objec...
Posted by Miss Jennifer on Tue, 24 Jan 2006 05:49:00 PST

Herbie Hancock and the Rite of Spring

Yesterday, Herbie Hancock called our office.  He was looking for tickets to Stravinsky's Rite of Spring  (downtown at the Walt Disney Concert Hall) which he said was his favorite classical m...
Posted by Miss Jennifer on Sun, 15 Jan 2006 03:40:00 PST

My Back

Aaargh!  My Chiropractor's outta town for the holidays and my back hurts!  This SUX! (Oh can we please sound a little more Beverly Hills Princessy can we...can we...? --Yeah right.  If ...
Posted by Miss Jennifer on Thu, 29 Dec 2005 05:13:00 PST

Joe Lieberman only WISHES he were the Dad on Alf

OK so I've got it all figured out...Joe Lieberman is TRYING to sound like the Dad from Alf.  He's NOT REALLY THE dad from Alf but oh how he worships him!  Think about it, the Dad from Alf is...
Posted by Miss Jennifer on Tue, 20 Dec 2005 04:48:00 PST