CHECK OUT MY VIDEOS:
Making booties clap, riding on my enemies, puffin' on trees, and masturbating to my VHS tapes of "Clarissa Explains It All." I got every fucking season of C.E.I.A. for $45 from some dude I met on Craigslist. That shit isn't on DVD yet!
Oh, and I am the West Coast President of "The View" Fan Club. I'm a little pissed that they kicked my girls Star and Rosie off the show, and I admit that I'm a LITTLE bitter about Sherri not replying to my fan mail, but it's still a bomb ass show.
BELIEVE THAT, playboy.
Bitches who aren't just about trying to snatch my riches, the guys from 3rd Bass (they were the MAD NOTES back in the day), Paul Wall, Brian Austin Green (or The Notorious B.A.G., as I call him), Suge Knight, Scott Storch (so I can beat his midget ass and steal his diamonds and those wack shades he wears), Carl from Family Matters (Reginald VelJohnson is the most underrated actor of our time), and any fine ass females who wanna take my virginity.
Oh, and Greg Louganis, 'cause I thought it was hella brave that he bled in the Olympic pool and all that. P.S. No homo.
I have hella listened to it.
Best album of all time, though?
Second best album of all time?
8 Mile, Get Rich Or Die Trying, Cool As Ice, Purple Rain, Glitter, Spice World, Crossroads, and From Justin Kelly.
106 and Park, Rap City, Gossip Girl, The Hills, Zoey 101, Hannah Montana, and basically anything on Nick Jr.
"POP POP!"
Can't Stop Won't Stop, Hip Hop Matters, Green Eggs And Ham, and Heather Has Two Mommies.
Paperboy ("My time is held up extremely for cookies!"), Skee-Lo, Eminem, Paul Wall, Vanilla Ice, Dee Dee King (do a Google on him, ya'll), Kevin Federline, Brian Austin Green, Marky Mark, and Ja Rule.