Lorri [ wherever i go there i am ]

All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing" -- Edmund Burke (1729-1797)
Reporter: "What do you think about western civilization?"
Gandhi: "I think it would be a good idea."

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"Ring Them Bells"
Ring them bells ye heathen from the city that dreams.
Ring them bells from the sanctuaries cross the valleys and streams.
For they're deep and they're wide
And the world on its side
And time is running backwards
And so is the bride.
Ring them bells Saint Peter where the four winds blow.
Ring them bells with an ironhand
So the people will know.
Oh it's rush hour now
On the wheel and the plow.
And the sun is going down upon the sacred cow.
Ring them bells Sweet Martha for the poor man's son.
Ring them bells so the world will know that God is one.
Oh the shepherd is asleep
Where the willows weep
And the mountains are filled with lost sheep.
Ring them bells for the blind and the deaf.
Ring them bells for all of us who are left.
Ring them bells for the chosen few
Who will judge the many when the game is through.
Ring them bells for the time that flies
For the child that cries
When innocence dies.
Ring them bells Saint Catherine from the top of the room.
Ring them from the fortress for the lilies that bloom.
Oh the lines are long and the fighting is strong.
And they're breaking down the distance between right and wrong.
~ Bob Dylan
"For Such A Time As This"

Film Completion Due Date: July/August 2008
Studio: Hope Unlimited Productions
Director: Lisa Darden
Screenwriter: Lisa Darden
Genre: Documentary Historical-Spiritual/Christian/Gay

Synopsis of "For Such A Time As This" :

Is reconciliation between Evangelical Christians and the Gay community possible? Can common ground be found in the intense culture wars that have consumed our nation? Our documentary film entitled, "For Such A Time As This" seeks to answer these burning questions.

Central to evangelical efforts to reach out to the Gay community are ex-gay ministries that help people to 'pray away the gay', 'For Such A Time As This' explores the issue by interviewing key players from both sides of the growing divide. This film offers a compelling and comprehensive inside-view and illuminates the issue as never before. We aim to turn ignorance into understanding and transform prejudice into promise.

"The film's goal is to build a bridge and offer hope for all. This much needed film will show that the Love of God can penetrate even the hardest of hearts and provide the catalyst that will cause all the walls to come tumbling down." - Lisa Darden
If you believe that the Love of God is available to everyone and that the ground at the foot of the Cross is level than this is a project that you will be able to wholeheartedly endorse.

Post-Production is underway, with interviews and comments having already been contributed by nationally known actors, theologians, ministers, authors, comedians and professionals from all walks of life.

A major fund raising effort is underway for completion funds for the film and the 2 CD Soundtrack that will accompany the documentary. Please help us bring this much needed and anticipated Documentary film to fruition and please encourage others to help.

Please go to www.hopeunlimitedproductions.com to donate online now.
Please Mail your Support to:
Hope Unlimited Productions
2141 Brecken Dell Ct.
Frederick MD 21702
We hope you will join us on this historical and spiritual journey. Please support 'For Such A Time As This'

Thank you!
Lisa Darden
Attached is a list of the people included/interviewed in the documentary film "For Such A Time As This."

"FOR SUCH A TIME AS THIS"
(FILM INCLUDES INTERVIEW or FOOTAGE OF THE FOLLOWING)

Billy & Franklin Graham, Filmed at The Metro MD Festival
Kay Warren from Saddleback Church 'Nightline' Interview
Billie Jean King, Tennis Champion and Pioneer
Kate Clinton, Comedian
Judy Gold, Comedian
Margaret Cho, Comedian
Lea DeLaria, Actress/Singer
Alan Chambers, Exodus President
Melissa Fryrear, Focus on The Family
John Smid, Love in Action
Nancy Heche, Love Won Out
Joe Dallas, Love Won Out
Frank & Anita Worthen, co-founder of Love in Action
John & Anne Paulk formerly of Focus on the Family and Love Won Out
Kent Philpott, co-founder of Love in Action
June Hunt, Hope for The Heart
Robert Knight, Concerned Women of America
Sy Rogers, Exodus
Dr. Warren Throckmorton, Assoc. Prof. of Psychology Grove City College
Robert Gagnon, Pittsburgh Theological Seminary
Joseph Nicolosi, NARTH
Tom Minnery, Focus on the Family
Dr. Ken 'Hutch',, Hutcherson, Pastor and former NFL football player
Speaker Bill Maier, Focus on the Family
Randy Thomas, Love Won Out
Kristin Johnson, One by One
Chad Thompson, Author & Speaker
Dr. Julie Herren, Licensed Marriage and Family Counselor
Wayne Jacobsen, Bridge Builders
David Di Sabatino, Filmmaker and Emmy Nominee for 'Frisbee'
Tony and Peggy Campolo, Evangelist and Speakers
Dennis and Evelyn Shave, Evangelists and speakers
Jay Bakker, Speaker and Revolution Church Founder Jim Bakker, Christian Television Pioneer
Chip Davis, Singer-Songwriter
Marsha Stevens-Pino, Mother of Contemporary Christian music
Rich Cook, Musical director and artist
Wayne Besen, author of 'Anything but Straight'
Daryl Herrschaft, The Human Rights Campaign
Ann Craig, GLAAD
Cynthia Clawson, Grammy and Dove Award Winner Christian Recording Artist
Chuck Smith Jr., Calvary Chapel
Tommy Coomes, Christian recording artist
Troy Perry and Cindy Love, MCC
Harry Knox, Human Rights Campaign
Rev. Irene Monroe, Harvard writer, speaker and Theologian
Rev. Mel White, Soul Force founder, author, speaker
Jeff Lutes, Soul Force Director
Judy Shepard, Speaker, and Matthew Shepard Foundation Founder
George Takei, Actor/Activist
Chad Allen, Actor/Activist
Soul Force Equality Riders
Rev. Yvette Flunders, City of Refuge San Francisco
Dr. Renee Richards, formerly Richard Raskin
The Reverend Cecil Williams and Janet Mirikitani, Glide Memorial Church
Jill Knight, Recording Artist
Lisa Durden Talk Show host and filmmaker
Jason & DeMarco, Christian Recording Artists
R.J Helton, Christian recording Artist and American Idol finalist
Kirk Talley, Christian Recording artist
Levi Kreis, Actor & recording artist
Jack Rogers, Theologian
Michael Bussee, co-Founder of Exodus, former ex-gay
John Evans, co-founder of Love in Action, former ex-gay Billy Porter, Broadway star
Melange Lavonne, Singer/Actress
Del Shores, Playwright/screenwriter of 'Southern Baptist Sissies' and 'Sordid Lives'.
Leslie Jordan, aka "Beverly Leslie" from 'Will & Grace'.
Dr. Ralph Blair, Founder of Evangelicals Concerned
Dr. Martin Blinder, Forensic Psychiatrist, author and screenwriter
Dr. Robert Spitzer, The American Psychological Association
Professor Carol Gilligan - NYU Professor and author
Dr. Kyle Pruitt, Yale University author and child psychologist
Todd Ferrell, President of The Evangelical Network, T-E-N
Justin Lee, founder of Gay Christian Network, GCN
Pastor Randy McCain, Open Door Community Church
Pastor Sandy Turnbull, Glory Tabernacle, Long Beach, California
Dony McGuire, Singer-Songwriter, Pastor of The River at Music City, Nashville
Pastor Deanna Jaworski, Church of the Holy SpiritSong
Rev. Jo Hudson and Michael Piazza from The Cathedral of Hope
Rev. Mike L. Williams- Gospel Revolution
Mayor Jerry Sanders - San Diego, CA
Rev./Dr. Jerry Stephenson, Author and speaker
Jeffery Barnes, Performance artist
Lars Clausen, Author of 'Straight into Gay America'
Dottie Berry, Robynne Sapp and Rylee Joy, 'Two Women and a poodle'
Peterson Toscano, performance artist
Worthy Meecham aka Mama, drag-queen, actor-actress & Christian speaker
Christine Bakke from Beyond Ex-Gay, Ann Philips, formerly of Exodus
Dr. Nick Warner of Evangelicals Concerned ,Claire Jordan Grant
Mayor Ron Oden, Former Palm Springs Mayor
Micah Qualls and Kyle Semmes, Singers
Ling Lam, M.A., M.S., Life and Relationship Coach
Candace Chellew-Hodge, Whosoever.org
Becca Ayers, Broadway Actress and Scott Denny, Actor, and China in NYC
Pastor Maria Caruana, David Medina, Steven, Rosa and Pastor Janice LaCount
Pastor Randy Houston and Dr. Joseph Pearson
Lester and Barbara Leavitt, Mormon speakers, former ex-gay and his former wife

++++Television clips from the N-Network and the Tom Lynch series 'South of Nowhere'
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Not much to tell about me - I'm almost 49 years old as of this 'edit' of Feb. 2008. I'm sort of reclusive - I have chronic fatigue immune dysfunction syndrome and fibromyalgia and a (benign) tumor on my thoracic spine which hurts like hell (I call it "Tate" - see if you guess why). i also have CIDP.
I have lived in constant pain for over 12 years now - I injured myself while helping someone who was disabled - ironic, yes.
I believe that everyone has the right to live their lives in peace, and I try not to dwell on the negative aspects of daily life - you get what you give.
I love animals. expecially dogs. I lost my "puppy" Reebok in 2006 - I am waiting until I am settled in here before rescuing another furry friend and give it a gr8 Home! I can't wait much longer - I really miss having a dog around the house (and yard - and everywhere else) - anyone who's ever had a "non-human (canine) companion" as their best friend knows exactly what I'm talking about...
I don't watch reality shows. I do watch science and technology stuff. I love sci-fi and (good) horror movies.
Do not make me sit thru a romance movie - I have never turned on the Lifetime Channel - I think that's where all of the old soap opera stars (I don't know for sure 'cause I don't watch soap operas) go to feed...
I love classic rock - 60's, 70's, 80's some 90's.
I hate to shop - for anything - even online. However I must shop online or I risk catching someone's cold or flu - immune system is down.
Oh, I am hearing impaired since I was about 6 years old - repeated "accidents" like being pushed down stairs and finding myself hitting walls, etc, along with no medical care for ear infections - yes, I had one of those lovely childhoods you really just want to read about and not ever have to live through.
I am really looking forward to this years's presidential elections - Democrats will rule - yeah!
I don't have a "family" anymore (since Sept. 2006). Sometimes you just have to walk away from those who pretend to "care", and, as time has proven (after reading some of the really nasty blog posts/comments/kudo's former family members posted here), they were never family to begin with. Life goes on - for the better.
For example: a few months before I moved, the former sister (Kathy) leaves a message on my answering machine that Judie interpreted for me: "Well, I'm almost 50 and I'm hearing impaired too..."
What the ____? Does she have any idea what it's like to wear 2 hearing aids and then NOT BE ABLE to wear them anymore because they HURT? Can she even empathize with the sense of isolation and being so "different" from everyone else - no matter what age I was - Does this woman have any concept of what it was like to spend your entire childhood with ear infection after infection, in unbelievable pain with NO MEDICAL CARE, having everyone LAUGH at you - including your own brothers and sisters year after year after year? The insensitivity of this family plays out like a really low-budget horror film - the props and set are so hastily constructed that the characters have to lean up against them to delay their imminent collapse.
I have had a lot to deal with the past 2 years - my partner Linda's death, my father's change in personality, my "former family's" hateful backlash against me because I was living with my father and trying to care for him as any loving child would care for their only parent - blame the caregiver, that's going to solve all of my Pop's problems. Yeah, right - let's try THAT. Sigh........
Now he's all alone. I feel really so scared for him you have no idea, but I can't do anything for him anymore, so I had to let him "go". That is/was - I haven't really succeeded with that yet to be honest.
You have to know my father to understand - He raised 12 children and was a NYC Firefighter. I was always so happy whenever he was around - as a child and when I was "all growed up". I miss him calling me 'Suzie Q'. I miss all the silly jokes and antics - this guy would make me laugh so hard that I would actually hold my sides as I slowly slid alllll the way down the side of the living room WALL and ended up in hysterics on the hardwood floor...
There's lots and lots to miss. But - I will never regret trying to get him the medical help he needed - I failed miserably, thanks to his "other family". At least I tried - I did my best. But - I still failed and I have to live with that - and worry.
I think that some members of my former family are "familial lesbiaphobes" - they don't mind gay men in the family tree like Robert and Russ, but I am the only one of 6 girls that LEFT home and got on fine without any of them. I have always been independent; I've done some stupid things in my youth but I learned from my mistakes and kept on going (I'll write some "stupid lorri events" in the blog as time goes by!).
I know I never fit in with any of them - I thought one or two sisters "loved" me, but I guess I was wrong. Hurt like that - I deal with it but then I start to think (always a mistake) about the many times I shared - back and forth - stuff - and to know now that I never really KNEW THEM then; I would have stayed here in Georgia instead of moving to Florida in 1984. Everyone would have been happy then.
It's been very painful and traumatic. When Linda died, my father - he didn't say anything to me - Linda was always over our house and Pop spent Christmases at her house and Thanksgivings, she would cater to my father - I never even received any kind of "condolences" from any 'family' except for my eldest sister sent me flowers 2 months later after I mailed her a voice message CD right about one month before my first breast cancer diagnosis - I was worried I might not - I wanted to say something important in case I couldn't say it later on, you know?
I guess if you're a lesbian there are those who assume that you don't have any feelings, you don't experience grief, you don't feel pain, you don't require love or ... you're not quite HUMAN.
I started this blog on my birthday a couple of years ago - then I was unable to get on for a while - I come back a couple of days ago and these "family members" are invading MY SPACE after harrassing me for well over a year - and ignoring me every year previous to that year...
This is MY Turf! They were unexpected, uninvited and unwelcome. Can you imagine anyone wasting their valuable time and energy searching the Internet looking for ME?
Lol. What type of person would even do that?
Answer: 2 of my dysfunctional "former family members". It doesn't take a genius to realize they have some serious problems and need to vent - but go vent elsewhere - I want NO CONTACT with you - you all are in the PAST. I don't like having to cut off ties with my family, but some things, I suppose, are inevitable, and it's hard enough waking up every morning and trying to be a decent person - to appreciate (and treasure) the ordinary everyday-ness of life - and to NOT take anyone or anything for granted; LIFE is a gift that shouldn't be squandered - there are too many of us 'missing' from this gorgeous rock of ours and it's up to the Living to do the Living for all of those missing people...
I have maintained a strange sense of humor. I find great joy and beauty in the unlikeliest of places; I hope I never grow up in that respect. My body may be crumbling but my mind is very much intact & inquisitive; the simplest moments in life bring me the most pleasure.
Anyway, I am single because I don't think it would be fair of me to make anyone watch me live in pain every day - It's a cruel thing to do to anyone, especially someone I cared about. After Linda died - well, I don't see the point of dating - just too painful to go through all that again.
I am concentrating on getting healthier, increasing my sales by 40% this year (2008) and that's a conservative estimate - I'll just keep plugging away. One thing I do know is online marketing - at the cheapest possible cost. Wish me Luck!!
(I put this on the bottom because I have already lived through this and I hope it's just a "footnote")
I made it through 2 "rounds" of breast cancer - first in January 2007 and a much smaller tumor in October 2007. I can't do chemo because my immune system is not as strong as it should be; so now I get to go every 6 months and get an ultrasound - mammograms aren't as good at detecting breast cancer - found that out the hard way..
I feel ten times better than I did even just 2 months ago, so hopefully "it" is gone and I can stop worrying about "it" - I can say that, but I don't know how anyone can stop thinking about the possibility of recurrence.
So, I now live a solitary life; my best friend Judie and her family are enough for me. I do have some friends that I haven't seen in a few years - I know they'll stop by once the honeysuckle, Carolina Jasmine and blueberry (and blackberry) bushes start spreading.
That's about it.