The Arsehole Formally Known As ... profile picture

The Arsehole Formally Known As ...

mankee wee bollix

About Me

failed musician and stand up now enjoying a new career in midget porn

My Interests

QPR, yeah, you heard me, dangling, clinkys, flunging, midgets and cock fighting

I'd like to meet:

old mates, hookers, drug dealers and tina turner

Music:

german marching bands and irish rap

Movies:

harold and kumar, starship troopers, they live, man bites dog, goodfellas, run lola run, apocalypto, armageddon

Television:

disney channel and soft porn

Books:

back four pages of the sun

Heroes:

stan bowles, leroy gorman, eddie tenpole, john carpenter, stan lee, les dawson, gerry sadowitz, jeffrey lee pierce, matt dillon, me bruv ...

My Blog

last letter to the brighton argus

dear editor... the thrush again... i was shocked to see today's headline...  '114 dead in pier tragedy : many more feared lost as city's landmark is destroyed'... i guess i picked the wrong day t...
Posted by The Arsehole Formally Known As ... on Fri, 12 Oct 2007 10:07:00 PST

third letter to the argus

dear editor... the thrush here... i see in today's copy of the argus you lead with the headline... 'full metal racket fine : £4,000 bill for naked neighbour from hell'... in which you tell of a h...
Posted by The Arsehole Formally Known As ... on Thu, 11 Oct 2007 10:33:00 PST

i went to infants with micheal jackson

i remember one time he told me that his father beat him because he wanted micheal to sing and dance... i said 'take the beatings... cos you might get really really good... and if you get really r...
Posted by The Arsehole Formally Known As ... on Wed, 10 Oct 2007 11:20:00 PST

second letter to the brighton argus

dear editor... tis me the thrush... i read your report in today's copy entitled 'gliding granny : 84-year old realises a lifelong dream as she flies for charity'... and i commend you for not...
Posted by The Arsehole Formally Known As ... on Tue, 09 Oct 2007 11:40:00 PST

my streetmates

davina mccall rents the flat downstairs... what a slag... moved in fourteen months ago just her... now she has seven kids from nine different fathers... explain that... honest... if it ain't her ...
Posted by The Arsehole Formally Known As ... on Tue, 09 Oct 2007 01:33:00 PST

first letter to the brighton argus

dear editor... you can call me the thrush... my real identity is not important... i have come to your troubled city to pit my wits against a disfigured crimelord known to you as zoe ball... she inheri...
Posted by The Arsehole Formally Known As ... on Mon, 08 Oct 2007 09:56:00 PST

plumber, window cleaner, barber

porky pig's my plumber,,, he's useless... do you know what that little fuckwit did last week... he was tightening a valve when a neighbour's duck started taunting him... ended up chasing him round for...
Posted by The Arsehole Formally Known As ... on Sun, 07 Oct 2007 03:29:00 PST

ice-t with his foot stuck in a train track

i was picking daisies last wednesday when i heard cries of help... i rushed to find a grim sight... it was ice-t with his foot stuck in a train track... i immediately called 'don't worry i'll have you...
Posted by The Arsehole Formally Known As ... on Sun, 07 Oct 2007 12:21:00 PST

amy whinehouse in a raincoat

i was feeding the cat when there was a knock at the door... it was amy whinehouse in a raincoat... 'can i help you?' i enquired politely... 'yeah mate mmmm i'm really off me tits and wanna fuck summin...
Posted by The Arsehole Formally Known As ... on Sun, 07 Oct 2007 10:48:00 PST

the one armed drummer of deff leppard on the roof

i was fixing myself a marmite and mackerel sandwich the other evening when i heard a mighty thump outside... i ran out to find the one-armed drummer of deff leppard on the roof... i did'nt catch his n...
Posted by The Arsehole Formally Known As ... on Sat, 06 Oct 2007 07:37:00 PST