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We all have a testimony to share.what God has done for us..this is mine.So..this is me.I am 32 years old,married with 2 great kids,and above all I am a CHRISTIAN.That does not mean I go to church on sundays,sing a few songs,listen to a sermon,and the rest of the week I am free to be whatever.I live every waking moment for my Lord,and Savior Jesus Christ.It was not always like that though.I went to church a little bit as akid,but I grew up in an alcoholic home.My dad drank alot,and when he did he got very mean.He was not always violent but,there were times that he did,mostly towards my mother.I can remeber times when I tried as a kid to help my mom when he was hitting her,and he would turn his anger towards me.that didn't happen alot,but it did happen.I don't blame either of my parents for it though.I started to realize as I was getting older into my teen years that there was something different about me from other kids.I got picked on alot by other kids because I was so much shorter than them.That made me very angry,and very unhappy about who I was.I became very depressed,and couldn't wait to get home from school most days.I became very withdrawn,and didn't wanna even go to school most days.The bullying continued all through middle,into high school..up until 10th grade when I finally figured out that I was able to stand up for myself and defend myself.I feel bad about it now,but I had to do it at the time.I was still depressed alot,getting worse everyday it felt like.After i graduated high school,I spent a few years partying,and doing things I am ashamed of now.I was drinking alot,and was turning into my father despite my own vows to never be him.I was at the cherry blossom carnival in Barberton,Ohio one day,and a freind of mine was there with her freind.I asked to be intoduced to her,and a few days later we were hanging out.I really wanted to go out with her,but she made the comment she didn't date drunks,or druggies.So I made a choice to stop drinking,and ask her out.A few years go by,and we have been dating,have a son,have a nice house,great jobs.She tells me she is pregnant again,and I got so excited.AT 4 months pregnant,she felt something was not right.We went to the doctor,and found that the baby had died.This really took my depression to a whole new level.I just didn't understand how I could have everything I have ever dreamed of,and dind't want to wake up in the morning.After a few more years of trying we had another child.Olivia,my princess!She was perfect from the moment I first saw her.I had started a new job with a large rent-to-own company making very good money.We were all at my bosses house for his child's birthday when my son said he didn't feel well.We took him home and his temp was high.So we took him to childrens hospital,and they siad it was probab;y just a bad flu.We took him home,and he got worse.We called 911 and they came and took his temp.It was 105.2.They told us the brain starts to die at 106.They rushed him to the hospital where they started asking us all these crazy questions.Have we been around anybody that had contact with anybody that had contact with...It was getting pretty scary.We came to find out that one of the kids at my bosses kid's party had a brother that died a week before from meningitis.They started treating him right away,but the doctor said he had to be honest with us.He said that most kids that were as far along as our son usually didn't make it.He told us we should contact our clergy,and make funeral arrangements.Clergy?..we didn't go to church.I had always thought that I!!And I alone was in control of my life,and what happened.So thinking that I went to the chapel at the hospital,and I told...not prayed,not asked..I told God to fix my son.Guess what..a week later despite all the odds my son woke up,and asked for some mashed taters,and gravy.I fixed my son..me!I told God fix him,and he fixed him.I was in for a rude awakeing.A few more years went by,and we actually start going to this church.They are nice,and its nice to be a jerk all week long,and have someplace to realx,and chill on sunday morning.I begin to get really close to the pastor.I really started to feel like I was missing something in my life..but what?In the fall of 2004 I had about enough of life.Nothing major had haapened to make me feel like that,its just the nature of the depression.I went to my shed,in my backyard.I strung up a rope through the rafters,put the rope around my neck,stood on a chair.I at that time thought about my son in that hospital bed.Fighting for his life.He fought so hard to live,and he was probably gonna be the one who found me hanging next to his bike.I got off the chair and just sat there and cried.That night we had wed. night service at church and Pastor Mike asked if I was busy that weekend coming up.I said no..what did you have in mind.He said he was going on an Emmaus walk.He said it was a spiritual retreat,and he thought I could use the fresh air,and the time away.It was 3 days,and after the first night I was not so sure I wanted to be there.They were telling me that they loved me,and God loved me,and all these men were hugging,and crying.I was raised not to cry,or show alot of emotions,so I was kinda weirded out by it.On the 3rd day I was there,something hit me.I finally found what I had been missing.I needed God in my life,he healed my son,not because of me,but because he loved my son.I dropped to my kness right there on that Saturday morning with tears in my eyes and asked God to save me the way he saved my son.I too was dieing,just like my son,and I needed healed by the love of God.I vowed that day,through thick or thin to glorify him in all I do.I am a drummer in a christian Praise band.I help other christian bands wherever,and whenever I can.This is my ministry.Through music,and through my testimony,I want to glorify God.I hope you took the time to read this,and most important I hope this helped you.If it did touch you in some way let me know.God loves you,and so do I!
