About Me
Click below to see the band’s Girlfriend video on YouTube...The Side Effects - who are they and where do they come from? (And where have they gone?)Its story of love and hellfire on a stick... eating Coronas . . . Ouch! Back in the dark ages, the band was forged as a hard Norwegian death trance outfit. After many world tours under the title of
NorsKORR the middle ages were over and the band decided to create something new. SPATULA was there next attempt and their cult album "LARD" was a (SHIT) underground success. In a major world event, the first world depression, the album undecidedly failed. It was time for two world wars and a whole load of drinking!!! A blues band was formed. However, blues failed and around this time the lead guitarist was serving a life sentence in Tazmania (with the devil) for pigeon humping. A duet from Finland took the place of The Side Effects and ended the careers of many small record labels. In 1963 the band created the first time machine, unfortunately they also managed to create a rip in time itself, propelling them back to 123 or something like that million years BC. The dinosaurs ate half of the existing band members heads and elbows off, so the search went on for the ULTIMATE BAND. They travelled back to the night of Jesus’ birth and enjoyed a plate of Pigeon, then they discovered that combining two measures of backstreet grog, one length of rope and two reasonably average sized melons would create the first doomsday device. Two of the guys enjoyed breasts!
BREASTS!
BREASTS!
BREASTS!
..............................................BREASTS . . . . . . . . . . . . . with SPAM!
THEN . . . God created two overly excited angels to spite the two. Unfortunately the indiscriminate use of breasts lead to the rise of the revolution in Belarus. You want some of that shit? HUH? EH?EH?EH? . . .
They fixed their time machine and blasted off to that time when girlfriends were made of uncles and aunties. Malaria was the biggest form of sweetcorn at the time, which lead to the rise of canabalism in frogs in the amazon. It sounds a little odd but it happened! The crater formed from the band’s returning in 2005 was so magmaticalising to the local community of Um-Bongo that they were shipped off to the small town of Smarrogate (the parallel dimension to Harrogate). Over this 4000 year (Bill and Ted style) journey they had learned two things....ish....
1. "If we’re gonna form a (decent) band we had better be half X-Man.
2. "If you ever manage to go to the year 1234ad, take a bottle of asprin"From these two mighty lessons they discovered that . . .. . . TWIGLETS WILL RULE THE EARTH!!!Therefore, make sure you:A: Are prepared to eat a lot of twiglets
B: Like twiglets
C: PORTHO SMASH!The small mildley inbred NERF football looked like the fine woman from the hit cult film "Species" and all keen sports players were soon shagged and dealt with in the best possible manner by prince harry the dope smoking, porn loving army officer.SoIt all looked peachy for the seventeen surving members of the band in 2005 and a half, until, the muppets, Big Bird, Barney, two of the teletubbies (both with only half of their moronic heads) and the rest of the cast of Sesame Street (DRUGGIES!) formed an alliance to poison childrens’ minds into thinking that posting Anthrax to their grandparents was an amusing joke. The government of Ukraine then decided that the best course of action was to email the cast of seseme street about a doomsday device made from grog, rope and melons that had been found over in the amazon. The device was unleashed, accidently on the small town of boroughsborough, destroying 11 members of the side effects as well as thirteen sheep. The good thing,A: The doomsday weapon was outdated, 2000 years old and didn’t, contrary to expectation bring forth the end of the world.
B: Brought the band back to 6 members in the side effects, who were safe at the local store down the road at the timeThis hurt Betty . . . A LOT! So, lager rules, worms can drive, bananas are for budgies, partridges eat 5 gold rings for breakfast, Chuck Norris CAN Believe It’s Not Butter!, He also counted to infinite . . . TWICE! . . . AND . . . don’t ever believe in things that go CLICK!!! They are the ones that will come back to haunt you..........HMMMPH!!! . . . . . . Don’t believe the Crabs, the sideways quizlings!!As for Kris Akabusi, he found that there are three types of fuel to power a car better then petrol, he, however forgot these world saving ideas. Kris, we love you!!!!! YOU RULE!!!!!Chuck Norris, he went on to meet the kings and queens of thirty different countries, he single-handedly destroyed a universe and beat the record for eating the most macdonalds cheeseburgers. ALL in the same hour!!!!Bill and Ted fell into Comas and Milo the donkey enjoyed cheap Pina Coladas and Easter eggs that looked like eggs.....funnily enough.The entire cast of Sesame street were arrested in mexico and extradited under charges of terrorism. The trial continues and they are all expected to be executed apart from Count Dracula who managed to escape capture by counting in the normal efficient and well pronounced manner, to eight (ah ah ah).Jesus was cucified. As we all know. The band had nothing to do with this and are not liable for the actions of the Roman empire.The time machine broke around 11pm on tuesday and they learned that 3 WAS the magic number!So they played. And they ask you to enjoy the future as we finally get to the two remaining questions (at least of any note) in the universe - where are The Side Effects now and who is looking after their lard with a spatula? If you know the answer, if you can help, we can rebuild them - make them better that they were before - better, stronger, faster...Love From The Side Effects x x xBEER GOOD!!
a href="http
