I am a professional piercer. By that, I mean I am a trained sniper for the government and pierce people from a mile away. I have two mottos: "peace through superior firepower"; and "happiness is a warm belt-fed." Even though my best work is done from afar, I am well-trained in foot-to-ass combat. My second job takes me all over the world where I am employed to turn lesbians straight. All women want to lay down with me, and I'm not just saying that because I have a gigantic cock (I am hung like a field mouse)! I am an animal lover and have several mounted all over my house. I frequently make love to this big buck I have on display in the game room, and it turns me on even more because the moose and bear heads always watch! I also want to say that I was born without nipples. After my shower every morning I look in the mirror and draw my nipples on with a pink marker. I'm considering getting them tattooed on eventually, but I'm still trying to determine what size looks best on me. I'm pretty sure Richard Simmons could tell me if he'd just get his fat ass off the couch and come look! This is some information about me, but excuse me, I have to go skeet shooting with Michael Moore.
