McLovin (THE BALD HEADED CHICKEN FUCKER) profile picture

McLovin (THE BALD HEADED CHICKEN FUCKER)

THERE'S A PARTY IN MY PANTS AND YOU'RE INVITED /

About Me

I'M PRETTY GOOD WITH A BOW STAFF, I'M TOO SEXY FOR MY SHIRT, I'M YOUNG, I'M VIRILE, I'M SENSITIVE TO THE NEEDS OF A WOMAN, AND I'M HUNG LIKE A SHETLIN PONY.
NaughtyPoll.com - take your own poll!
1. How old are you? 27-29
2. What is your sexual orientation? Straight
3. Have you ever given someone oral sex? Sure I have
4. Have you ever received oral sex? Yes, of course
5. How many sexual partners have you had? More than 15
6. What is your pubic hair style? Totally shaved off
7. What kind of underwear do you wear? Boxers
8. Have you ever taken, or been in, naked photos? Both taken and been in them
9. Have you ever been to a nude beach, or nudist area? Nope, I am modest
10. Do you watch porn? Yes, of course. Who hasn't?
11. Have you ever watched others, or been watched having sex? Both watched others and been watched
12. How large are you...ya know, in the pants? About 8 inches
13. Have you ever expirimented with another man? No, I'm straight as can be
14. What is your favorite sexual position? Doggie style
15. Are you circumcised? Yes I am
16. What gets you off fastest? Intercourse
17. How often do you masturbate? Whenever I can
18. Have you ever had multiple partners at once? Yes, a foursome
19. Have you ever paid for sex? Nope, never
20. When did you lose your virginity? 15-16 years Old
NaughtyPoll.com - take your own poll! Win $1,000 CASH Now!1
You Are 100% Evil
You're the most evil person you know.
The devil is even a little scared of you! How Evil Are You?
TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF - The Survey
Name: Donkey Dick
Birthday: May 16
Birthplace: A truckstop restroom
Current Location: The secret dungeon under my house where i take my victims
Eye Color: Excrement brown
Hair Color: Brown up top and bright orange down below
Height: 5'8"
Right Handed or Left Handed: Right, but i can beat off with both. I like to start off with the right hand and then switch to "the stranger"
Your Heritage: Half Korean, half black
&..39;The Shoes You Wore Today:' Moccasins
Your Weakness: Old lady boobs and hermaphrodites
Your Fears: Dying of a bloodclot in my head while masturbating and my mother finding me dead with my dick in my hand
Your Perfect Pizza: Anything without severed foreskins
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year: To sexually satisfy the mothers of everyone I know
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger: "I just moved in my chair and sat on one of my balls"
Thoughts First Waking Up: What am I gonna do with this enormous erection?
Your Best Physical Feature: My one-eyed lovesnake
Your Bedtime: Whenever I pass out or whenever I'm beaten unconscious
Your Most Missed Memory: Being pinned down with my face in the pillow while whiskey is being breathed into my face from the side by my uncle
Pepsi or Coke: Breast milk
MacDonalds or Burger King: The dumpster behind the titty bar
Single or Group Dates: Swingers parties
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: Tea is for queers
Chocolate or Vanilla: Poontang
Cappuccino or Coffee: Whiskey with cocaine stirred into it
Do you Smoke: Like a fuckin chimney
Do you Swear: Hell fuckin no, goddammit!!!!!!
Do you Sing: I can belt out some Barry Manilow
Do you Shower Daily: Do golden showers count?
Have you Been in Love: Once...with a one-eyed crackwhore
Do you want to go to College: Clown college
Do you want to get Married: I've been told that a union between a man and a sheep isn't legal
Do you belive in yourself: No, I'm just a figment of my imagination
Do you get Motion Sickness: Only during big orgies on one of those moonwalk things at the carnival
Do you think you are Attractive: I'd fuck me
Are you a Health Freak: Shit yeah, you never see me without a beer and a cigarette
Do you get along with your Parents: Whenever they're not calling me names and flicking cigarette butts at me
Do you like Thunderstorms: Only pussies don't
Do you play an Instrument: Dueling bedsprings
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol: I have in the past second
In the past month have you Smoked: Smokin one right now
In the past month have you been on Drugs: I'm high on life, not drugs
In the past month have you gone on a Date: Does fucking a chick on her parents' couch count?
In the past month have you gone to a Mall: Where do you think I find my victims?
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos: Interacial women dont like to be called that, and nobody calls it a box anymore
In the past month have you eaten Sushi: Women also think that calling it sushi is crude
In the past month have you been on Stage: A live sex show at the highschool talent show
In the past month have you been Dumped: No but I've taken a dump
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping: In the kiddy pool
In the past month have you Stolen Anything: Your mother's heart
Ever been Drunk: I stay that way, it's how i keep from putting a pistol in my mouth
Ever been called a Tease: Only by the pastor at my church
Ever been Beaten up: By four homeless men who tried to fuck my face
Ever Shoplifted: A big, black, veiny dildo
How do you want to Die: Jerking off with a belt around my neck
What do you want to be when you Grow Up: A drug dealing pimp
What country would you most like to Visit: Thailand...the sex trade is amazing
In a Boy/Girl..
Favourite Eye Color: Pink and pointing in different directions
Favourite Hair Color: Gray
Short or Long Hair: Bald
Height: 3'5"
Weight: 300 pounds, give or take 50
Best Clothing Style: Booty ass naked except for a bellychain and flipflops
Number of Drugs I have taken: 9
Number of CDs I own: 317...all polka
Number of Piercings: Just a prince albert and a jacob's ladder
Number of Tattoos: 1, a full body tattoo of myself but taller
Number of things in my Past I Regret: 137,462
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My Interests

PERFORMING LATE TERM ABORTIONS, SNUFF FILMS, EXOTIC DANCING, AUTOEROTIC ASPHYXIATION, TAKING LONG MOONLIT SHITS ON THE BEACH, MY DREAM IS TO TREAT THE WORLD TO A CUNNING STRIP TEASE

I'd like to meet:

CHICKS, EVERY FEMALE COLLEGE GYMNASTICS TEAM, AND HER

Music:

2PAC, TOO SHORT, BROTHA LYNCH, BUCK CHERRY, LOTS OF RAP AND ROCK, AND THE SOUND OF MY BALLS SLAPPING AGAINST A HOOKERS ASS Tenacious D and the cevil ^^

Add to My Profile | More Videos tupac hit em up diss to biggie smalls
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Add to My Profile | More VideosBrotha Lynch Hung- One Mo Pound
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Add to My Profile | More VideosLuniz- I Got 5 On It Remix
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Add to My Profile | More VideosBrotha Lynch Hung & MC Eiht- You Dont Know Who I Know
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Add to My Profile | More Videosstraight up menace
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Add to My Profile | More Videos

Movies:

HAROLD AND KUMAR GO TO WHITE CASTLE, ORGASMO, BASKETBALL, TEAM AMERICA WORLD POLICE, CLERKS, MALLRATS, CHASING AMY, DOGMA, JAY AND SILENT BOB STRIKE BACK, ANY CHEECH AND CHONG, MENACE II SOCIETY, SCHLINDLER'S FIST, FORREST HUMPS, SAVING RYAN'S PRIVATES, LORD OF THE G-STRINGS, PLAYMATE OF THE APES, KINKY KONG, SPIDERBABE, LESBIAN GLADIATORS

Television:

MY NAME IS EARL, DOG THE BOUNTY HUNTER

Books:

THE IDIOTS GUIDE TO SODOMY

Heroes:

RON JEREMY, WILT CHAIMBERLAIN, PEDRO SANCHEZ

My Blog

THIS ALMOST HAPPENED TO ME AND COLE

...
Posted by McLovin (THE BALD HEADED CHICKEN FUCKER) on Sat, 12 Jan 2008 07:09:00 PST

THAT LITTLE TEASE

TODAY I SAW THIS TURTLE WALKIN ACROSS THE STREET. IT WAS LOOKIN SO HOT PRANCIN AROUND IN ITS TIGHT LITTLE SHELL AND ITS FORESKIN NECK. I YELLED, "HEY TURTLE!! I KNOW WHAT YOU NEED AND IM JUST THE O...
Posted by McLovin (THE BALD HEADED CHICKEN FUCKER) on Fri, 13 Apr 2007 02:07:00 PST

NAUGHTY QUIZ

SEE HOW MANY PEOPLE SEND THIS BACK TO YOU! EVEN IF YOU HAVE A BOYFRIEND OR GIRLFRIEND- REPOST THIS!  Fill out and send back to me  1. Your Name:  2. Age: 3. Favorite position (...
Posted by McLovin (THE BALD HEADED CHICKEN FUCKER) on Fri, 09 Feb 2007 07:57:00 PST

Man Laws

1. No wasted beer in the name of humor.2. It has been made official that under no circumstances should the male have to pay for birth control3. If your best friend is dumped by a girl it is a 6 month ...
Posted by McLovin (THE BALD HEADED CHICKEN FUCKER) on Fri, 17 Nov 2006 07:39:00 PST

You'll never fuckin believe this!!!!

One time my left nut itched, so i scratched it.  And then it stopped itching.
Posted by McLovin (THE BALD HEADED CHICKEN FUCKER) on Fri, 21 Jul 2006 02:00:00 PST