On the subject of Mr. Murphy and Mr. Whitely this is the information that
could be found:Mr. Murphy's date of birth is unknown, but we were able to find that he is
the son of a politician and a writer for the Old Farmers Almanac, which has
left him both extremely accurate yet slightly unbalanced.Mr Whitely was born during the Kennedy administration, yet when pressed for
more information we are told that there are still Kennedys in office and Mr.
Whitely may have been born in 1982.In late '99 the two met in a seedy karaoke bar in Sepang, Malaysia. Mr.
Whitely was in Malaysia on business as he was a play by play announcer for
various Grand Prix motorcycling events and Mr. Murphy was doing voiceover
and consulting work for an Asian game show to be broadcast on an American
military television station. The meeting was set up by a woman that neither
of the men had met before and would only give the name LG.Throughout the evening the two discussed many topics including, but not
limited to, cold air induction, the rise and subsequent fall in popularity
of Madonna as a role model, and whether or not Jimmy 'Superfly' Snuka could
take Terry 'Hulk' Hogan in a cage match. Between bad renditions of poorly
composed songs the two tried to outdo each other in sake consumption, to the
delight and chagrin of the bars owner.They were escorted out of the establishment at dawn and stumbled into the
nearest open bar, a sports booking joint specializing in lesser known sports
such as lawn mower racing and monkey knife fights. The two overheard talk
of a rebirth of women's Roller Derby in the United States in Austin, Texas.
This being a topic each new a fair bit about as Mr. Whitely was from Texas
and Mr. Murphy was from Chicago, the birthplace of Roller Derby, they
decided that this may have been the reason that someone had wanted them to
meet up.The two parted company later that afternoon with a plan to meet at a later
date, each not sure when that would be as they had drank most of the
establishments' sake and sang most of the Eddie Money. At a small skate rink
in north Austin almost two years later their paths crossed again to fill a
vacancy in the commentary box.Most of this information was difficult to come by as neither party could be
reached for comment and Mr. Whitely was recently overheard say to Mr. Murphy
"Hey, remember when we met at that polo match at Newcastle on Tyne." to
which Mr. Murphy replied "Who are you and why are we wearing these silly
coats."
My Interests
We like to drink, and watch girls go round in circles.
