McBeardo profile picture

McBeardo

Balls the size of steel!

About Me

Once and Future: Selwyn Harris - Happyland (Publisher and Editor, 1991-2002) - The New York Press (contributor 1992-2001) - Screw (Contributing Writer 1993-1998) - Hustler (Entertainment Editor 1993-95, correspondent 1992-2002) - Devil in Miss Jones 5: The Inferno (1994; screenplay) - Animal Instincts 3: The Seductress (1995; screenplay) - "Greetings From Happyland" column in Peter Bagge's Hate (1997-99) - "Laps-a-Poppin'" in The Factsheet Five Zine Reader (1998) - a dozen slap mags of lesser renown - "1999: The Year Bubblegum Snapped" in Bubblegum Music Is the Naked Truth - Agonizer.com (2000-2001) - Celebrity Skin (2002-2003) - SexWrecks.com (2004-2006).
At Present: MrSkin.com (Editorial Director) - - Mr. Skin's Skincyclopedia/Mr. Skin's Skintastic Video Guide (Editor) - GAYS in the MILITARY (rhythm guitar) - SEXUAL FREEDOM (racketeer, vocals) - Mr. Skin's Skintastic Video Guide - SOFT AS FUCK: Chicagoland's premiere smooth-rock DJing experience.
We are what we foist on the public, I say.

My Interests

Obscenity, indelicate motion pictures, repulsive music, incendiary literature, horror, (s)exploitation, 70s Times Square, Howard Stern, Mad magazine, National Lampoon, doomsday cults, drive-ins, mini-golf, Borscht Belt comedians, freak shows, hairy armpit chicks (esp. I.B.T.C.), B-movie starlets, psychic warfare, Disney, the history of pornography, and the most way-out extremes of human behaviors and beliefs.

I'd like to meet:

As I told my shrink once: "I prefer the company of people who go by fake names and dress in costumes."

Music:

Foremost: GAYS in the MILITARY, SEXUAL FREEDOM
As a general rule: 60s psychedelia, 70s AM radio, vintage glam/glitter/garage, bubblegum, noisy art rackets, black/death/doom metal, Top 40 girly pop, power electronics, novelty records, soundtracks, rock operas, concept albums.
Favorite LP of all time: "Jesus Christ Superstar" - original concept album with Ian Gillan as J.C. and Murray Head as Judas. Number two is "Bat Out of Hell" by Meat Loaf.
I also have Butthole Surfers and Melvins tattoos.

Movies:

I will ALWAYS watch (and find some reason to fall in love with) ANY movie that falls into the following categories:
- Teen Sex Comedies.
- Post-Apocalypse ass-stompers (esp. the Mad Max movies and their rip-offs).
- Barbarian / Tribe of Women movies (esp. Conan and its rip-offs)
- R or X-rated "adult" Fairy Tale adaptations from the '70s.
- "Crimson Age" splatter/slasher movies (1968-1986)
- 1980s Charles Bronson (and anything else bearing the names Golan and Globus in the production credits).
- The complete Cheryl "Rainbeaux" Smith canon.
Now, more specifically:
Forbidden Zone, Russ Meyer (esp. Beyond the Valley of the Dolls), John Waters (esp. Female Trouble), 2001: A Space Odyssey, Showgirls,Head (1968), Xanadu, Pee-Wee's Big Adventure, Sleepaway Camp, The Billy Jack series,The Texas Chain Saw Massacre (74)/TCM2 (86),Eraserhead,Sextette,Cannibal Ferox/Cannibal Holocaust,Freeway, Bloodsucking Freaks,Smile,Maniac (1980),Death Race 2000,the Ilsa series,Joe (1970),Alice Sweet Alice,Mandingo/Drum,Skidoo,Fight Club,Dr. Phibes,J'Taime Moi Non Plus,The Pit,Lord Love a Duck, On the Waterfront, Sweet Smell of Success.

Television:

Uncle Floyd, Simpsons, SCTV, Three Stooges, Abbot and Costello, Little Rascals, 60s Dragnet, Bosom Buddies, It's Your Move, Small Wonder, WKRP, Eight Is Enough, Facts of Life, Silver Spoons, Family Guy, The Shield, American Idol

Books:

MR. SKIN'S SKINTASTIC VIDEO GUIDE! "A Confederacy of Dunces", "The Ghastly One", "Tales of Times Square", "National Lampoon 1964 Yearbook Parody", "Behold a Pale Horse" "Saturday Night" by Hill & Weingrad, "Yes, I Can" by Sammy Davis Jr., "Will" by G. Gordon Liddy, "Flicker" by Theodore Roszak, Danny Peary, Medved Bros, Mark Twain, James Thurber, Chuck Pahlahniuk, Thomas Berger, Martin Amis, Feral House, Fantagraphics, FAB Press, "Bubblegum Music Is the Naked Truth", "The Factsheet Five Zine Reader", "Prisoner of X: 20 Years in the Hole at Hustler Magazine" by Allan MacDonell

Heroes:

Dr. Francis B. Gross, Dr. Louis Flellis, and Dr. Butcher M.D. (Medical Deviate)

My Blog

Groove Objects May 2008

MOVIESInside (2007)Mommie Dearest (1981), presented at the Music Box on Mother's Day by Camp MidnightThe Ruins (2008)Teeth (2007)*MUSIC War Metal Battle Master - Lair of the MinotaurSarah Bareilles's ...
Posted by McBeardo on Fri, 23 May 2008 10:14:00 PST

The music of Meat Loaf.

I love it even more than I love meatloaf itself. And that's the greatest love of all.
Posted by McBeardo on Tue, 18 Sep 2007 12:47:00 PST

1991 - 1992

I wish now that it was then. Forever.
Posted by McBeardo on Fri, 14 Sep 2007 06:22:00 PST

Read my Skinterview!!!

Learn too much naked truth:Skinterview with McBeardo!
Posted by McBeardo on Wed, 12 Sep 2007 11:34:00 PST

Im sick on Labor Day. SICK!

End-of-Summer cold plus Change-of-Season allergies equal schnotting, woozy, gassy, headache-enflamed, all-around miserable McBeardo. Like always this time of year. Right after my birthday. Right befor...
Posted by McBeardo on Mon, 03 Sep 2007 02:48:00 PST

Man-oh-man-oh-MANITOU: The "shush-er" pops a steroid...

DATELINE: The Music Box Theatre.Last evening's midnight screening of the William-Girdler-helmed, Tony-Curtis-emblazoned, Native-American-spookery wig-out The Manitou proved stunning on several fronts....
Posted by McBeardo on Mon, 27 Aug 2007 04:58:00 PST

Fidel Castro

Even though he was EL Beardo ... I don't miss him.
Posted by McBeardo on Fri, 24 Aug 2007 01:34:00 PST

Whose those girls, Eddie Piss?

A friend of mine wrote to me to ask if the busty model on the VHS cover of the 1982 Troma movie "Waitress!" was actress Carol Drake. This is my response:During September of my freshman year of high sc...
Posted by McBeardo on Thu, 09 Aug 2007 08:01:00 PST

"I'd hit it!"

If you have ever spoken and/or (as is more likely the case) posted this phrase during an online communique, please hit yourself. In the roof of the mouth. With a shotgun blast.
Posted by McBeardo on Fri, 20 Jul 2007 09:54:00 PST

Hard on the taint.

That's what commuting via bicycle from Logan Square to downtown Chicago and back to Wicker Park during rush hour is.
Posted by McBeardo on Fri, 20 Jul 2007 08:53:00 PST