music, silence and john peel!
Ol' Gregg. Legendary fish. Some say he's half man, half fish. Others say it's more of a seventy-thirty split. Whatever the percentage, he's one fishy bastard.How Ol' Gregg found the funk.........OL' GREGG: I got the funk. You see the funk is a living creature, about the size of a medicine ball but covered in teats.
It came from another planet and landed on Bootsy Collins' house. Back then Bootsy was a simple farmer but he took one look at those mauve titties and he lost his mind. He began to milk the funk
BOOTSY: "Shit! This ball producing some sweet cream!"
He made himself a funky shake.
BOOTSY: "Praise the lord!"
He began to feel fizzy inside. He found he could see around corners.
BOOTSY: "What the?!!"
Suddenly he passed out. But when he came to, baaaaby, he was slapping the bass guitar fast and loose, like some kind of delerious funky priest.
BOOTSY: "Oh yeah!!"
Two months later he was world famous with his band Parliment and every body wanted a piece of the funk - Rick Wakeman, even the Bee Gees.
BEE GEES: "Give me that funky milk!"
One day Parliment were travelling on the Mothership, fooling around with the funk.
BOOTSY: "Hey, pass it over!"
When George Clinton kicked the funk clean overboard into the sea below.
GEORGE CLINTON: "Oh maaaan!"
That was July 2nd, 1979.
The day the funk died.
Two weeks later i found the funk in bed with a conger eel.
CONGER EEL: "Ohhhhh, i've been rumbled!"
At first i thought it was a sea anemone but under closer inspection i realised it was a funky ball of tits from outer space! I offered to take him back to Parliment, but he said he was "done with that shit!" and that they never listened to him anyway and were only interested in his funky produce.
So i let him live down here with me in this cave.That was nice story Gregg.
THEY CREATE, I RATE : Sir Coxsone Dodd, Nina Simone, David Holmes, Aretha Franklin, Dynamite Soul, Freestyle Records, Ninja Tune, Biz Markie, Rufus Thomas, Carol Kaye, Trojan Records, Blood & Fire, Booker T & The MG’s, Stax, KRS One, Dynamo Productions, Quannum, Truth & Soul, The Roots, Keb Darge, DJ Shadow, Motown, James Lavelle, Jurassic 5, Tony Allen, WARP, James Brown (RIP), Unkle, Andy Votel, 2 Tone Records, Jon Kennedy, Fused & Bruised, J-Dilla (RIP), Lee 'Scratch' Perry, Tru Thoughts, Devo, Wax Poetics, Major Force, The Slits, Ray Charles, Ultramagnetic MC's, 2 Tone Records, Jon Kennedy, Factory Records, Prince Buster, J-Rocc, Marvin Gaye, The JB's, King Tubby, Fela Kuti, Andy Smith, Gang of Four, Dyke & The Blazers, Clyde Stubblefeild, P.U.T.S, The Maytals, M.A.W, Soundway Records, Nick Drake, James Black, Quantic, Brighton Beach, Gerald Jazzman, The Funk Brothers, Boca 45, GAMM MC's, P-Funk, A Certain Ratio, Stones Throw Records, Northern Soul, Cut Chemist, Finger Lickin' Records, E.S.G, Eddie Bo, Blow Up, Liquid Liquid, Primal Scream, Stevie Wonder, B-Music, Fat City, Eric B & Rakim, B.D.P, Bootsy, The Clash, Mighty Boosh, Soul Jazz Records, Madlib, CHUNKY vinyl and BIG squelchy 303's.............