Cap'n Crunch

Ahoy! My name is Horatio Magellan Crunch, or you can call me Cap'n. I sail the milk sea on the faithful S.S. Guppy with my four wonderful children: Alfie, Carlyle, Dave, and Brunhilde. I wish Jean LaFoote can just go fuck himself cause he thinks hes the shit but he has no fucking friends. Count Chocula you son of a bitch that's been spreading lies! My cereal does NOT cut the roof of your mouth! You can go suck cocks in hell! If your ever bored and/or getting bossed around by someone I will come to wherever you are, break a wall, and take you on a journey (no lads this isn't an acid trip) and you will enjoy the best cereal, my cereal! No onto me personal life. I love de-boring kids, I absolotuey am against abortion, child abuse. No onto the fun stuff. I am a huge ass stoner. I smoke between 2 to 8 joints, 3 bongs, 10 bowls, 2 blunts, and/or 1 hot knife a day. Legalize!!!!!! Oh yes, I love it when you eat my cereal, more money-i mean-more loyal fans!!!

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Name: Horatio Crunch
Birthdate: somedate
Birthplace: Milk Sea
Current Location: The Bow of the Guppy
Eye Color: Blue
Hair Color: white
Height: 5'7''
Weight: 214
Piercings: none
Tatoos: none
Boyfriend/Girlfriend: Jean Lafoote's Wife
Overused Phraze: Ahoy!
FAVORITES
Food: what do you think?
Candy: Mrs. Lafoote's p***y
Number: 63
Color: blue
Animal: dog
Drink: milk
Alcohol Drink: dont drink
Bagel: uhhh blueberry?
Letter: C
Body Part on Opposite sex: eyes
This or That
Pepsi or Coke: both
McDonalds or BurgerKing: both
Strawberry or Watermelon: strawberry
Hot tea or Ice tea: both
Chocolate or Vanilla Chocolate
Hot Chocolate or Coffee: hot choco.
Kiss or Hug: kiss
Dog or Cat: Dog
Rap or Punk: both
Summer or Winter: summer
Scary Movies or Funny Movies: scary
Love or Money: money ho!
YOUR...
Bedtime: 11:15
Most Missed Memory: that fistfight i had with that Cocoa Puffs bird
Best phyiscal feature: my mustache
First Thought Waking Up: gotta de-bore some kids!
Goal for this year: destroy General Mills
Best Friends: Tony the Tiger, Rice Krispies
Weakness: invincible
Fears: me not being rich
Heritage: uhhh hell if i know
Longest relationship: 18 years (my ex-wife)
HAVE YOU...
Ever Drank: once
Ever Smoked: cigarettes? nope
Pot: occasionally....all the time
Ever been Drunk: no
Ever been beaten up: hell naw
Ever beaten someone up: damn straight(watch out Frankenberry!)
Ever Shoplifted: nope
Ever Skinny Dipped: ewww
Ever Kissed Opposite sex: yes
Been Dumped Lately: nope
IN A GUY/GIRL
Favorite Eye Color: blue
Favorite Hair Color: anything
Short or Long: in between
Height: tall as me
Style: big
Looks or Personality: looks
Hot or Cute hot
Drugs and Alcohol: drugs perhaps
Muscular or Really Skinny: in between
RANDOMS
Number of Regrets in the Past: 4 or 5
What country do you want to Visit: seen them all
How do you want to Die: natural causes
Been to the Mall Lately: im live on the sea you landlover!
Do you like Thunderstorms: they could destroy the guppy in severe enough!
Get along with your Parents: yep
Health Freak: not so much
Do you think your Attractive: a little
Believe in Yourself: yes
Want to go to College: never did
Do you Smoke: pot
Do you Drink: no
Shower Daily: no
Been in Love:
Do you Sing: sometimes
Want to get Married: not for awhile
Do you want Children: already have em
Have your future kids names planned out: already do
Age you wanna lose your Virginity: already did
Hate anyone: Count Chocula,Trix Rabbit,Cocoa Puffs bird, Toucan Sam,That Cinnimon Toast Crunch dude, That Honey Nut Cheerios Bee, That Corn Flakes rooster,The Fucking Flinstones, Dig 'Em, Lucky, Jean Lafoote, THE MOTHERFUCKIN SOGGIES!, and mostly other cereal mascots (a few exceptions although)
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