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Raisin Nut Bran

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About Me

I am made from whole grain wheat bran. I have plump, nut-covered raisins and slivers of almonds. I enjoy being doused by pasteurized cow's milk, then slowly losing my crispiness while sweetening the milk.
Sadly, my formula has changed gradually over the years as General Mills has cut corners in the name of profitability. I used to have a thicker ground almond covering on each delicious, plump raisin, but GM has started to reduce the amount of covering used.
I also used to have significantly more almond slivers until General Mills eliminated them altogether a couple years ago. After many of my devoted fans started a letter-writing and call-in campaign to protest this crime against the breakfast table, GM quietly brought the almond slivers back--but in a much smaller ratio.
General Mills has also changed the formula to the core of my being: the bran flakes. My flakes used to be naturally sweet and have just the right balance of crispness and absorbency. Now they have made my flakes taste a little more like cardboard, and a little less like wholesome goodness. They may stay crispy longer, but many people would rather have them get soft and sweeten the milk. This continues to undermine the texture and flavor balance between the sweet, chewy raisins, the firm shards of almond and the subtle sweetness of the softening flakes.
It seems that GM's main concern is cutting costs and making more pennies per box. Maybe by taking out every ingredient that people love about me, they can make this for next to nothing. Just as the government is slowly chipping away at our privacy and civil liberties, the trend with General Mills seems to be to quietly reduce or remove key ingredients at a slow pace so that they don't have an instant uproar as they did when they ambushed consumers with the sudden withdrawal of the almond slivers. When no one buys me any longer, they will know they were successful at prostituting me to the fullest.
I hope people will continue to take me home, spread the flaps of my box apart and eat me all day long like they used to.
Alas, I am still superior to Kellogg's two scoops crap, but I have seen my star begin to fade. Please don't change my formula again, General Mills, Please!

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My Blog

Eat Me!

Eat me.  That's all. Wait, no it's not.  Combine me with milk in a bowl and eat me with a spoon--like a civilized person.  Don't be mixing me in with some damned muffin mix and claim to...
Posted by on Fri, 25 Apr 2008 16:06:00 GMT

A dignified response

I won't name names, but the person who said my nut-covered raisins were like little sweetened lard balls is no longer welcome at my breakfast table.  I'll have you know my raisins are plump,...
Posted by on Sun, 26 Nov 2006 21:15:00 GMT

Grievances

Some of you have accused me of just being a breakfast cereal. Well. . .that's true, I guess, but I can be eaten any time of the day. Just yesterday, a lazy college student in Arizona ate a b...
Posted by on Fri, 10 Nov 2006 12:17:00 GMT