David - ProfilesArchive

About Me

Upon reading my profile, my friend Pete questioned my affinity for the TV series "Welcome Back Kotter". This was my response:
"Gabe Kaplan is a prolific genius. Many years ago, after Gabe dumped a hall of fame acting career to play poker professionally, his fans were universally appalled. This was the man who gave us "Welcome Back, Kotter" and "Fast Break" as well as some sizzling performances on "Battle of the Network Stars." For God's sake, he ripped Robert Conrad's heart out in the most memorable 100-yard race since Jesse Owens silenced Berlin.
"Now he was hanging out with seedy cardplayers, looking more disheveled than the star of a hostage video. We were distraught. Of course, the man has been revealed as a visionary. We doubted Gabe, we demeaned him. And we owe him an apology. He saw something in poker nobody else could see -- namely, that the sport would take off.
"How could we have doubted the guy who saved Boom Boom Washington from Brooklyn gangs, beat Nevada State in its own gym and took down Robert Conrad?"
That, in a nutshell, is me.

My Interests

I'd like to meet:

Terry Fox's publicist.

Music:

Pearl Jam, The Tea Party, Arcade Fire, The Decemberists, Tupac Shakur, Snoop Dogg, Nirvana, The Smashing Pumpkins, The Notorious B.I.G., Red Hot Chili Peppers, Dr. Dre, Jay-Z, Led Zeppelin, Outkast, Sneaker Pimps, Sublime, The Pixies

Movies:

Old School, Beautiful Girls, Wet Hot American Summer, Caddyshack, Fistful of Vixens, Garden State, High Fidelity, Dazed and Confused, Carmen Swisher and Her Merry Gang of Dwarfs, Almost Famous, Big Lebowski, Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels

Television:

Jackie Rogers Jr. $100,000 Jackpot Wad, Edible Incredibles, Any infomercial with Tom Bosely, Facts of Life, The Comox Early News with Deborra Hope, that episode of Happy Days where the Fonz water-skis over a shark, Progresso Soup commercials (that counts, right?), Celebrity Duets, The Pat Sajak Show (and I don't mean Wheel of Fortune), Valtrex commercials, Designing Women, Jeopardy! - Elementary School Week, Grey's Anatomy, Mr. Belvedere (but only the theme song), Love Shack by the B-52's music video

Books:

Jitterbug Perfume, Fluke, Brave New World, Another Roadside Attraction, Mad Magazine, Sex Drugs and Coco Puffs, The Apprenticeship of Duddy Kravitz, How to Talk Dirty and Influence People

Heroes:

Tom Robbins, Mitch Hedberg, Bill Hicks, Roberto Clemente, Steven Colbert, Louis CK, Pedro Martinez, Rodney Dangerfield, Brett Favre, Bill Lee, Bob Dylan, Sarah Silverman, Carmen Swisher, Delino DeShields

My Blog

Looking good Dane Cook! Feeling good Dave Chappelle!

I'm 99 percent positive that Randolph and Mortimer Duke recently wagered $1 that they could turn the funniest, most successful stand-up comic into a disturbed bum on the street and turn a random unfun...
Posted by David on Fri, 17 Nov 2006 11:54:00 PST

THAT'S WHAT I LOVE ABOUT THIS FILM. I GET OLDER, IT STAYS THE SAME AGE

I watched Dazed and Confused last night for the umpteenth time, and was struck by the genius of Matthew McConaughey as Wooderson in the flick. His now infamous line of "That's what I love about these ...
Posted by David on Mon, 17 Apr 2006 12:28:00 PST

MONEY FOR NOTHING

How many times have you heard people complain about football players making so much money? Million dollar contracts, etc. So could you explain, please, why no one seemed puzzled by Katie Couric's $15 ...
Posted by David on Thu, 13 Apr 2006 01:18:00 PST

HOLLYWOOD STARLETS AND THE NBA

I've been thinking about this for a while - could anybody have forseen the Katie Holmes vs. Michelle Williams reversal coming? When "Dawson's Creek" wrapped, Holmes all but had the America's Sweethear...
Posted by David on Fri, 24 Mar 2006 04:13:00 PST

LOOK OUT BJORK

I figured what better way to pop the cherry for my blog than with an article highlighted my (incredible obscure) fame. http://uppistand.boxser.is/index.php?option=com_c ontent&task=view&a...
Posted by David on Tue, 07 Mar 2006 05:20:00 PST