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Fashionbeaver.com

Drenched in pride!!!!!

About Me


www.fashionbeaver.com
The Beav is back in action, summer 2007!!!!
Fashionbeaver.com. Where pop culture and news take it in the can - and it hurts!!!!
It's 2007 - do you know where your daughter is? News flash: She's underneath the fashionbeaver.com news desk servicin' the staff proper. We're gonna need all the help we can get to pull this one off, and we figured she'd be a good place to start. Oh yeah - she's pretty good.
We aims to run pop culture, news, sports, and whatever else we think of, through the sociopathic minds of our assembled panel of drug and ho' addicted, booger flingin', bitch slappin' perverts. You'll get reviews and commentary of music, film, fashion, porn, TV, and politics, as well as interviews, open-forum discussion, and a dickhead of the week. We can assure you, you'll be hard pressed to find a less PC entertainment site, and we'll fight anyone who thinks they've got one. Unless they're tougher than us. So, we're throwin' the grenade, we're not sure who we're gonna hit, but we look forward to eating the remains of a few corpses along the way. Enjoy!!!!!
If you're a band, filmster, pornographer, or whatever, and you'd like to submit your material to Fashionbeaver scrutiny, send us a message.

My Interests

Fashionbeaver.com

Shannon Selberg, riding crops, sweaty and quivering upper lips, the way you feel 5 minutes before you're about to score some drugs off the street, high heels, cheap tattoos, having someone spit in your face, the sound a dude makes when he gets kicked in the nuts - "Oooh", saying "Fuck it" when you know there's a good chance you're about to get an STD, Eazy-E, fireworks, playing Tetris at funerals, passing someone you'd like to screw on the way into free clinic

I'd like to meet:

Your mom, bitch!!!! And Bill Hicks

Music:

If it's good, we like it. If it sucks, we hate it. Fucker.Here's some shit we do like:Turbonegro, Roxy Music, the Police, Air, Failure, High On Fire, Sunn O))), Hot Snakes, Secret Chiefs 3, Autolux, the Cows, Black Mountain, Eagles of Death Metal, the Flys, Tomahawk, Frank Zappa, the Jesus Lizard, N.W.A., Supergrass, Pink Grease, Sonic Youth, Kyuss, Faith No More, Depeche Mode, Brian Eno, Wellwater Conspiracy, the Icarus Line, Dillinger Escape Plan, Fugazi, Velvet Underground, Atomic Bitchwax, Urge Overkill, Deerhoof, the Locust, Easy Action, King Crimson, Dungen, My Bloody Valentine, Shellac, Entombed, Celtic Frost, Burning Brides, Ink and Dagger, the Melvins, Ween, Moistboyz, David Bowie, Heroine Sheiks, Surgery, Goatsnake, Massive Attack, TV on the Radio, !!!, the Cult, Hawkwind, Mark Lanegan, Today is the Day, the Cars, Throbbing Gristle, Guapo, Danko Jones, Missing Persons, Jawbox, Animal Collective, Mt. Sims, Shudder to Think, Bad Brains, BRMC, Christian Death, Surgery, earthlings?, Isis

Movies:

Larry Clark's shit, most of Jim Jarmucsh's goods, Super Troopers, Cube, Gregory Dark's New Wave Hookers, Fletch, Decline of the Western Civilization, Chris Farley films, David Lynch mastery, Gummo, Who's Harry Crumb?, The Fog of War, Raising Arizona, Platoon, Collateral, Cable Guy, Rosemary's Baby, The Insider, After Hours, Rushmore, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, Sexy Beast, Stayin' Alive, Grease 2, Spinal Tap, Anything by Cassavetes, Bukowski: Born Into This, Road House starring Patrick Swayze

Television:

Jack it off!!!!

Books:

Most Bukowski and Henry Miller, The Price of Loyalty, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, The Last Empire by Gore Vidal, Jawbreaker, Borges, Cosmic Banditos, Nugget Magazine, Terrance McKenna's stuff, American Psycho, The History of Haircut 100, The Dirt, Vice's Do's and Dont's

Heroes:

Bill Hicks and your mom

My Blog

Journey to the Center of the Beaver

When it's time to create, it's time to fucking kill.  Passivity in approach is fine if you're unsure of what it is you're attempting, but I'm not going to know you exist, let alone care.  Po...
Posted by Fashionbeaver.com on Fri, 18 May 2007 03:31:00 PST

Capt. Dan Finkelstein speaks!!!!

He sent this to the desk today:"I just read on article in a column called "The Mysteries of the Sexes Explained" where they break down the five things never to say on the first date. Only five?Here's ...
Posted by Fashionbeaver.com on Fri, 11 May 2007 02:01:00 PST

sunn O))), Louis XIV, and Henry Miller Library interviews!!!

Check it out.  The Beav's live. More Manila, Finklestein and Robster Craw!!! Also, check our archives for interviews with Mike Patton, the Icarus Line, the Melvins, Gram Rabbit, Melt Banana, Ken ...
Posted by Fashionbeaver.com on Tue, 24 Apr 2007 12:01:00 PST

Meet the Fashionbeaver.com staff!!!

Slammer - Editor-in-Chief / Tech Wizard: Slammer's beard and IT skills have been outlawed in 17 states. Having been on the crew to construct the first Inter-Gallactic wheelchair, this native of the Mi...
Posted by Fashionbeaver.com on Thu, 10 May 2007 03:25:00 PST

Manila Wafer vs. Rock Star Televangelists

Here's a glimpse on an upcoming Beav feature we're fucking psyched about.  Manila's got her hands full of all things Holy on this one: "The House of God is starting to outgrow the Beav's libido.&...
Posted by Fashionbeaver.com on Thu, 10 May 2007 03:21:00 PST

Finklestein answers the mail, Vol II

Letters to the Crapmaster Dear Crapmaster, I am not circumcised and was wondering if there was some way I could control the piss from splashing all around the seat and all over my pants. It is very em...
Posted by Fashionbeaver.com on Fri, 14 Apr 2006 06:59:00 PST

Top 10 April Fools jokes I have pulled over the years, by Capt. Dan Finkelstein

Ten: Blew a guy and then told him I wasnt gay. Boy, you should have seen the look on his face. Hell, you should have seen my face. Nine: Drove through Watts in Black-Face singing Mamie while dragging ...
Posted by Fashionbeaver.com on Thu, 06 Apr 2006 01:15:00 PST

Captain Dan Finkelstein answers the mail. Another Myspace exclusive!!!!

Letters to the Crapmaster Dear Crapmaster, I am not sure if this is normal, but when I use the John at work, I try to be as quiet as possible. When a person walks into the stall beside mine, I clinch ...
Posted by Fashionbeaver.com on Tue, 04 Apr 2006 01:05:00 PST

Fu Manchu, Dana DeArmond, Tommy Pistol and Taproot interviews in the bag!!!! - dated, but cool

Now that's hot fuckin' action to the max!!!!  A tasty interview with Fu's Scott Hill that gets down to business, a face to face with Dana D, and a forum for Taproot to let it all hang out.&n...
Posted by Fashionbeaver.com on Wed, 15 Mar 2006 09:34:00 PST

Fashionbeaver staff Top 5 picks

For the time being:   Slammer's Picks: CD's   1. Isis - Panopticon 2. Pelican - The Fire In Our Throats Will Beckon The Thaw 3. Red Sparowes - At The Soundless Dawn 4. Pink Floyd - Meddle...
Posted by Fashionbeaver.com on Wed, 01 Mar 2006 02:48:00 PST