Rayven

If you're an Atheist, send me a request if I haven't sent you one yet...we need to come out of the closet and create a network! If you send a request, please explain who you are, if you are not listed as an Atheist or your profile is private I probably won't add you. I don't like those guys who collect women, so if I don't add you, it's probably because I thought you were one of *those guys*.
Pull up a chair and chat with fellow Atheists at
http://atheiststoday.com/news.php
I'm 40. I am a steadfast atheist. If you are religious, we are not romantically compatible, so please don't ask me out. I'm not interested in empty sexual relationships, and that's obviously all you'd be looking for. If you're looking for a friendship though, our religious differences won't matter. I have friends from just about every belief system. I look for a higher level of compatibility when it comes to romance because I've had too many negative experiences dating Christian men.
I am legally married, but not in the sense that most people are married...let me explain.... I am polyamorous...this means that although I am married to one husband, I am open to loving more. This is NOT the same thing as swinging...nothing against swinging, it just isn't my thing. I prefer emotional attachment and empty sex bores the hell outa me...so if you're looking for a swinger, move on.
How did I come to the conclusion that I would prefer to be polyamorous? When my husband cheated on me numerous times I began to analyze traditional relationships and decided monogamy wasn't healthy...I have decided the world would be better off if we humans were polyamorous. Humans did not evolve to be monogamous creatures. I want honesty in my relationships. Monogamy breeds deception and cheating. I decided I would prefer to be in polyamorous relationships. I left my husband and we were separated for over three years, I recently agreed to stay with him. Consider me a single married woman...I know, weird, but that is what best describes me.
Being polyamorous does not mean that I have casual sex...I take very, very few lovers and I find casual sex boring and empty. I need emotional attachment. I love deeply, so quite frankly, I only have the time and energy to properly sustain a couple of romantic relationships. I want quality, not quantity. I am looking for a few exceptional people to travel through life with, not a bunch of human sex toys. (Humans with sex toys are more than acceptable though! *wink*)
My husband is in the military...we move every few years. We've been to many places but haven't found one we'd like to retire in, so who knows where we'll end up. We are currently stationed in Oklahoma.
I am NOT into BDSM....AT ALL. I am a dominant, matriarchal woman, but I CANNOT do harm to those I care for...so if you're looking for an abusive Domme...don't message me....(but If you want to be part of a strong, tightly knit clan...then please do.) I know this is an odd thing to mention, but I've been getting a lot of messages from men who are looking for a sadistic Domme. No matter how much you like it...I am not going to beat the crap outa you!
I AM a Domme of sorts, but I am a highly protective one...not an abusive one. (except towards anyone who would be foolish enough to harm someone I love). Speaking along these lines...I might as well clarify what kind of men I am comfortable with...I do not like spineless cowards...I like warriors...I like men who will protect the family but prefer that I make the decisions...men who will trust my judgment, but not blindly. They should have opinions, needs, and desires...and find a strong female sensual instead of a threat to their manhood. They can disagree with me as long as they don't become abusive. I want men who will put their lives on the line to protect our offspring and other innocents. The men I love will not drink heavily, or do drugs...I will not deal with addicts....I search for men who do not submit easily, but will be comfortable deferring to my judgment because they trust me and know that I will do them no harm. They will understand that my life is devoted to the welfare of others and they will devote their lives to our clan, as I have. Of course, they will be allowed to date others, I don't do one way poly. I am hoping they would date responsibly and be attracted to people who would be a good addition to our lives and not people who would bring conflict...but, sometimes it's difficult to determine that in the beginning of relationships, so I am sure we'll have our share of flakes pass through our lives.
Let me make the following point VERY clear...I am NOT looking for men who will worship me and spend their lives kissing my ass...I am looking for men who will devote their existence to the welfare of our CLAN..I am not the clan...I just lead it. The men I trust to be part of the clan will be secure, strong men who take their responsibilities seriously and who enjoy making the world a better place. I serve as the director of operations but my focus is the welfare of the family. I don't think of the clan as something designed to serve me...I think of myself as born to serve and protect a clan. There is a HUGE difference between the two mindsets. I am not looking for egomaniacs or losers who are looking for someone to support them, I am looking for KNIGHTS/CHAMPIONS. True champions do not serve themselves, they champion a cause...which is usually tied to a group of people...in this case, it will be our clan.
I REALLY like military men because many of them have the mindset I'm looking for. (not all do... there are some military men who are such slackers that they make people want to smack them upside the head...I don't want those types, I want men who have their shit together.) If I do ever get the opportunity to create a clan, one of the men will be more dominant than the others...I need at least one person who is dominant enough to lead and protect the clan if I die....so not EVERY man I date has to be submissive in nature...just submissive to my stubborn ass.....
Onto other things....I like protective and loving people. I feel love is sacred. It is what my life is based on. I guess you could say that if I worship anything, it is love itself. I have a strict code of ethics that I live by and I do not believe in betraying those I am responsible for. I do everything in my power to avoid causing anyone pain or heartache. I do NOT believe in a God, forgiveness for sins etc.. therefore I believe that if you do something evil to someone, you are evil. Period. I choose not to be evil.... I want to be proud of who I am so I do not harm people. Who I am is the one thing no one can ever take from me, so it also is sacred to me.
I have stated that I am a dominant female, (an alpha)...but I do not want to leave the wrong impression on those who have never met me in person. If you are interested in becoming my friend or lover and visualize me as a loud, aggressive female...that is not who I am. If that's what you're attracted to, look elsewhere. I am not loud or pushy...I am usually soft-spoken, extremely feminine, and lady-like. (although I can kick some ass when need be). When I say that I am a dominant female, I do not mean to imply that I get people to do as I ask by yelling or intimidating them. People do as I ask because I ask gently and I make no unfair demands of them. I rule my family with a soft and loving heart. I am a healer, not an abuser. Think of me as an old, trusted shaman...I give advice and then give people the freedom to follow it or ignore me.
I am not compatible with self-based people. We may be able to date for a short while, or be friends for a short while, but eventually the imbalance with become so great that I have to walk away. I despise people who take advantage of others, so if that's your style, you'd better run from me. I am trying to build a "family" of other-based people so that no one will run short of emotional resources by giving too much...if everyone gives , we will replenish each others' reserves as we go along...no one will become drained or tapped out. In more simple terms...healer/givers need other healer/givers, because we tend to neglect ourselves.
I am a sapiosexual...if you're interested in romance and are not willing to open your mind and actually connect with me, I'll quickly become bored with you...so please don't bother wasting our time...life is too short and time is too precious. You're not able to attain the level of passion I enjoy if you only use your body. I want to know your heart, soul and mind.
I have two sons and a daughter-in-law. My eldest son is 23, in the Air Force and works on the avionics of F-16's. His wife is 21, and they have a great relationship. If anyone questions my unusual parenting techniques, I can just point to them and smile...the reality of their relationship speaks louder than my words ever could. I am proud of who they are and proud of my son for being a great husband to his wife. My youngest son is 12 and is incredibly thoughtful and kind. I homeschool him. (I homeschooled the eldest too). My children,(and child-in-law), are the most important thing in my life and nothing will ever come before them. I firmly believe your offspring are supposed to come first, even before your spouse. Giving your children a safe and healthy environment is your sacred duty...if you don't see it that way, you shouldn't have them.
I am an INFJ.....
http://www.typelogic.com/infj.html
http://www.personalitypage.com/INFJ.html
On the Enneagram I score a 1 with a 2 wing or a 2 with a 1 wing, depending on my mood at the time. My scores in 1 and 2 are very close, almost equal, so they balance each other out. Some links to the test........
http://www.similarminds.com
http://http://www.eclecticenergies.com/enneagram/type1.php
http://www.enneagraminstitute.com
If you wanna see more pictures of my family and I, here are some more.
http://s68.photobucket.com/albums/i12/Rayven_Alandria/
Sadly, due to a few recent annoyances, I feel the need to add the following comment....If you are a cheater it would NOT be wise to trick me into sleeping with you. In the past I have had quite a few men attempt to seduce me, only to find out later that the guy was married or in a serious relationship. I DO NOT SLEEP WITH CHEATERS!!!! My marriage of 14 years was destroyed by a cheater and I would rather die than bring that kind of agony to another person. I despise unethical people and more than anything, I despise people who betray and harm those they have vowed to love and protect.
...and now that so many married men keep making passes at me I have decided that from this point on when a cheater tricks me into sleeping with them, I will tell the wife/significant other. Once they make me part of the abuse of another person, that person becomes my responsibility. So...you've been warned. If you're a cheater and pretend to be a single guy to get me to sleep with you, I will eventually find out the truth and I will tell the person you're cheating on.
Yes, I know this profile is twenty miles long and boring...It comes in handy when a man I don't know well shows a romantic interest in me. Instead of repeating myself a thousand times I can direct men here and tell them to read my profile, and if they are still interested in getting to know me better, they can let me know. It cuts through a lot of meaningless chit chat...if a guy is just after sex, my profile will send him running and we wouldn't have had to waste either of our time. Maybe everyone should just print out romantic resumes and hand them to potential dates...LOL
I edited my profile with Thomas Myspace Editor V4.4 (www.strikefile.com/myspace)