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TO LEARN MORE ABOUT FUCKALLAYA CLICK A LINK, ANY LINK...
I'M A SLAVE TO THE STAGE!
GOOD REVIEW FOR BROWN PLANET!
AMALIA BATTLES THE PINK ROBOTS!
MY POETRY IS PUBLISHED IN THIS TEXTBOOK!
MY BROTHER IS SMARTER THAN YOURS!
I am (still) more ambitious than you.
The Legend of Fuckallaya
A long time ago in a barrio far, far away, a young chicana named Amalia had a dream of doing spoken word. There was only one problem. Every time she prepared to step up to the mic, the host or quien-chingao introducing her would mispronounce her pinche name. ¡Every pinche time!
Obviously,they were not prepared for her flavor, maybe since there were so few chicanitas doing what she was doing. Every variation/mutilation of the name gringos could come up with: "uh-MAIL-yuh," "uh-MEEL-ya," and some other pretty stupid ones.
This was a shame. Amalia (ah-MAH-lee-ah) was making a name for herself - however unpronouncable that name was. The time had come to either do something or resign herself to a lifetime of name-butchering and being know as "you know, that little latina girl!"
She asked herself, "What would Aaliyah do?" But being remembered for running around half-naked and dying didn't seem so appealing.
Finally one night at ¡Puro Slam!, in an attempt to drive home the point that names deserve respect, her brother signed her up to read her poetry as "Amalia Fuckallaya." This word association seemed to work, not because it's a perfect rhyme (it isn't), but perhaps because of its harsh, vulgar timbre. Sensationalism was not only the key to jarring people out of their laziness concerning certain names. Sensationalism, it turned out, was also a catharsis for the pissed-off chicanita.
Since then, she has performed poetry across the nation, occasionally reminding those who seem confused, "It's Amalia, rhymes with Fuckallaya!"
Even professionals still get it wrong - on national TV for the NAACP Image Awards she was "ah-muh-LEE-ah," the accent all crazy like she was ThalÃa or something.
Recently someone pointed out, "people are hiding their myspace pages from employers and other respectable types, aren't you embarrassed by the screen name 'Fuckallaya'? I mean, ¡Goddamn! That name is out there!"
After considering a new myspace name - like "Somalia" or simply "Amalia" - Amalia remembered she was unemployed, punk rock, and earning her primary income as a spoken word artist. So does it really matter what the hell "the man" thinks? Her only apology is to the under-18 students she mentors. She hopes that adults can understand that her stories are written for adult audiences and performed in adult venues. Trust that she has the ability, wisdom, and good taste to censor herself around the youngins'. ¡Controlate mujer!