SANDRIA

First things first: The name Sandria is correctly pronounced `san-drE-uh, emphasis on the first syllable and not the second (unlike the wine sangria which people commonly believe my mother named me after). From what Ive read the name is of Greek origin and means, helper of humanity. Sandria is an alternate form of the Greek name Alexandria and this just so happens to be my mothers name. Eerie, I know.Now that I got that out of the wayI was born Sandria Marie Washington on March 11, 1980 and I gotta tell you I am the quintessential Pisces. The astrological symbol for Pisces is two fishone swimming upstream and the other downand I cant think of a better symbol to describe my personality. I honestly feel like two people, one pulled upward to achieve success and the other more fearful and is pulled downward. On the upstroke, Pisceans are described as creative, compassionate, romantic and spiritual (all true for me). But on the down stroke Pisceans are moody, vague and secretive (equally true for me). Sometimes Im truly amazed that I have so many friends and people who care for me because understanding the real me is a lot of hard work (praise God there are still people who arent afraid of a little hard work). Its a real challenge for me feeling as if Im teetering on the edge of greatness and defeat at each moment, but I think this inbred duality really prepared me for the ups and downs Ive had to face from the time I was a little girl up through now as a little girl trapped in a womans body.My parents separated when I was five and today I can say that is one of the best things that should have happened to me. I remember shortly after my father left our electricity was shut off and my mother and I would walk to the library each week and Id check out a huge stack of books. We would just read by candlelight or this old kerosene lamp my mom had. Who knew Sandria the writer was being born during this crazy time? I surely didnt. All I knew is that I liked to read, color and write stories and with no TV to distract me I had a lot of time on my hands to do what I liked. Thanks, Dad.I wrote my first short story when I was like six. It was called The Easter Bunny and its definitely the work of a six year old. I dont even remember learning how to read or write. I remember going over it in school, but never really learning; it was just easy to me. I was undoubtedly good at it (and the conceit comes out). After the separation my family moved out of our plush suburban house with the pool to an apartment above a liquor store on the Southside of Chicago. The next best thing that ever should have happened to me was attending John D. Shoop Elementary School (now Shoop Academy) from the middle of 2nd grade through the middle of 7th grade. I really got a lot of encouragement there, particularly from the librarian, Mrs. Scott, the computer teacher, Mrs. Jones and the Young Authors Club leader, Mrs. Elligan. Mrs. Scott first introduced me to Haiku poetry and name-acrostics (check this out: Smart Ambitious Nice Determined Romantic Intelligent Artsytry it, its fun!). Mrs. Scott also led the Beta Club, where I was reading Plato and Socrates in 5th grade and learned the meaning of the word demeanor. Mrs. Scott is the one who told me that Writers write about what they know and her words ring in my ears just about every time I sit down to write. She was great. Mrs. Jones was my coach for the Spelling Bee and I won 1st place twice (Im still really proud of that accomplishment). I also typed my first two booksone a short story and the other a book of poetryin her computer lab with the extremely ancient dot printer and my strictly fingertip-one-key-at-a-time typing skills. But, I was so proud of those books and some of the poems I wrote even then arent all that bad to me now. I would go and read the short story I wrote to the kids in the lower grades. I was truly something special! Back then I knew I wanted to be a writer because it was just the natural thing for me to do and I really loved doing it.Right now, Im going through this young adult I dont know what I want to do with my life crisis, but part of me believes that if you knew once before what you wanted to do and you were good at it once before, then that wont changeever. From as early as I can remember I was writing, but something happened after I left Shoop. No one bothered to ask about my writing. I didnt enter anymore Spelling Bees. I stopped writing. I did what was required for school, but my real voice was mute. And of course, when I stopped working at my craft my skills got rusty and the fear set in. The fear of not being able to write well anymore. For the last 10 years or so Ive been afraid to write. Basically, afraid to be who I am. Oh, Ive written a lot in the last 10 years and Ive been published on the web and in print extensively. Dont sleep on my credentials! But, for as much as Ive accomplished all of it only came out of a lot of procrastination and fighting the fear in myself. The negative self talk gets real ridiculous sometimes. I dont have enough experiencePeople write betterMy grammar is badblah, blah, blah.Very recently I realized I have to stop being afraid. Im trusting that God set me on a path early on to touch people through the written word. Am I the next Maya Angelou, Gwendolyn Brooks or Nikki Giovanni? Maybe Ill reach that level someday, but today my greatest challenge is living up to my own name. Through my words, can I truly be a helper of humanity? If Sandria writes, Sandria can. Its who I am. Its what I do.Peace and Blessings!
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