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JenGads

I am not afraid to keep on living... I am not afraid to walk this world alone...

About Me


Get Your Cyborg Name


"So, you think you're a failure, do you?? Well, you probably are. What's wrong with that?? In the first place, if you've any sense at all you must have learned by now that we pay just as dearly for our triumphs as we do for our defeats. Go ahead and fail. But fail with wit, fail with grace, fail with style. A mediocre failure is as insufferable as a mediocre success. Embrace failure!! Seek it out. Learn to love it. That may be the only way any of us will ever be free..."
"My good lover is my one good thing these days... you help me keep it all from slipping away..."
"The worst stab wound is the one to the heart. Sure, most people survive it, but the heart is never quite the same. There's always a scar, which is meant, I guess, to remind you that even for a little while, someone made your heart beat faster. And that's a scar you can live with, proudly, all the days of your life."
"There's nothing wrong with feeling lost, so long as that feeling precedes some plan on your part to actually do something about it. Too often a person grows complacent with their disillusionment, wearing their "discomfort" like a favorite shirt, I can't say I'm very pleased with where my life is just yet... But I can't help but look forward to where it's going..."
"Like the falls of Niagara which rage at the center of her little town, some powerful force forever threatens to sweep Jen into roiling chaos... It is a force against which she struggles; a power she cannot name... Whether it is the undertow of contemporary life, or something more ancient; life, as it has always been...
Jen will continue to struggle, to thrash, to fight... yet, in her most personal, unguarded moments...she will speak of a calm pool; a place where the waters become still and the chaos abates; a place where a father's wisdom, a mother's compassion, a brother's protection, and a sister, all combine to show Jen she is not alone
"I'm trying to think of a way for you to be cruder. I just... It's not coming."
"It is time for this dream world to come to an end along with the dreamers in it..."
"The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return"
"You know, I think things are gonna be all right now, Joe.
Oh?? And what makes you think that??
Who knows where thoughts come from?? They just appear."
"I still believe in paradise. But now at least I know it's not some place you can look for, cause it's not where you go. It's how you feel for a moment in your life when you're a part of something, and if you find that moment... it lasts forever..."
"Don't praise me because I made it through without any help from you, without anyone at all. Don't hate me cause I didn't make the call, and I'll never take the fall."
"Jesus Christ. How irreparably changed my life has become. It's always the last days of summer and I've been left out in the cold with no door to get back in. I'll grant you I've had more than my share of poignant moments. Life passes most people by when they're busy making grand plans for it. Throughout my lifetime I've left pieces of my heart here and there. And now, there's almost barely enough to stay alive. But I force a smile, knowing that my ambition far exceeded my talent."
"If the people we love are stolen from us, the way to have them live on is to never stop loving them. Buildings burn. People die. But real love lives forever."
"And I swear sometimes you're watchimg over me-Still I'd give the world for the chance just to see your face again..."

My Interests

"I'd say I'm sorry to disappoint you, but I'm not. I excel at not giving a shit. Experience has taught me that interest begets expectation, and expectation beget disappointment, so the key to avoiding disappointment is to avoid interest. A equals B equals C Equals A, or whatever. I also don't have a lot of interest in being a good person or a bad person. From what I can tell, either way, you're screwed. Bad people are punished by society's laws, and good people are punished by Murphy's Law. So you see my dilemma."

"Say hello to all the apples on the ground-They were once in your eyes but you sneezed them out while sleeping. Say hello to everything you've left behind-it's even more a part of your life now that you can't touch it."

I'd like to meet:

"Fuck me?? Fuck you!! Fuck you and this whole city and everyone in it. Fuck the panhandlers, grubbing for money, and smiling at me behind my back. Fuck the squeegee men dirtying up the clean windshield of my car. Get a fucking job!! Fuck the Sikhs and the Pakistanis bombing down the avenues in decrepit cabs, curry steaming out their pores, stinking up my day. Terrorists in fucking training. SLOW THE FUCK DOWN!! Fuck the Chelsea boys with their waxed chests and pumped up biceps. Going down on each other in my parks and on my piers, jingling their dicks on my Channel 35. Fuck the Korean grocers with their pyramids of overpriced fruit and their tulips and roses wrapped in plastic. Ten years in the country, still no speaky English?? Fuck the Russians in Brighton Beach. Mobster thugs sitting in cafés, sipping tea in little glasses, sugar cubes between their teeth. Wheelin' and dealin' and schemin'. Go back where you fucking came from!! Fuck the black-hatted Hasidim, strolling up and down 47th street in their dirty gabardine with their dandruff. Selling South African apartheid diamonds! Fuck the Wall Street brokers. Self-styled masters of the universe. Michael Douglas, Gordon Gecko wannabe mother fuckers, figuring out new ways to rob hard working people blind. Send those Enron assholes to jail for FUCKING LIFE!! You think Bush and Cheney didn't know about that shit?? Give me a fucking break!! Tyco!! Worldcom!! Fuck the Puerto Ricans. 20 to a car, swelling up the welfare rolls, worst fuckin' parade in the city. And don't even get me started on the Dom-in-i-cans, 'cause they make the Puerto Ricans look good. Fuck the Bensonhurst Italians with their pomaded hair, their nylon warm-up suits, their St. Anthony medallions, swinging their, Jason Giambi, Louisville slugger, baseball bats, trying to audition for the Sopranos. Fuck the Upper East Side wives with their Hermes scarves and their fifty-dollar Balducci artichokes. Overfed faces getting pulled and lifted and stretched, all taut and shiny. You're not fooling anybody, sweetheart!! Fuck the uptown brothers. They never pass the ball, they don't want to play defense, they take fives steps on every lay-up to the hoop. And then they want to turn around and blame everything on the white man. Slavery ended one hundred and thirty seven years ago. Move the fuck on!! Fuck the corrupt cops with their anus violating plungers and their 41 shots, standing behind a blue wall of silence. You betray our trust! Fuck the priests who put their hands down some innocent child's pants. Fuck the church that protects them, delivering us into evil. And while you're at it, fuck JC!! He got off easy!! A day on the cross, a weekend in hell, and all the hallelujahs of the legioned angels for eternity!! Try seven years in fuckin' Otisville, J!! Fuck Osama Bin Laden, Al Qaeda, and backward-ass, cave-dwelling, fundamentalist assholes everywhere. On the names of innocent thousands murdered, I pray you spend the rest of eternity with your seventy-two whores roasting in a jet-fueled fire in hell. You towel headed camel jockeys can kiss my royal Irish ass!! Fuck this whole city and everyone in it. From the row-houses of Astoria to the penthouses on Park Avenue, from the projects in the Bronx to the lofts in Soho. From the tenements in Alphabet City to the brownstones in Park slope to the split-levels in Staten Island. Let an earthquake crumble it, let the fires rage, let it burn to fucking ash and then let the waters rise and submerge this whole rat-infested place."

"Take all this infatuation and envy, I never thought I'd be this way with you"

"Sometimes you're flush and sometimes you're bust, and when you're up, it's never as good as it seems, and when you're down, you never think you'll be up again. But life goes on."

Music:

Alkaline Trio
Blink 182(old shit, not new shit)
Bloodhound Gang(Do you even know what a WaWa is??)
David Bowie
Jeff Buckley
Chris Cornell
Danzig
Dashboard Confessional
the Eagles
Everclear
Failure(The Nurse Who Loved Me is like one of my favorite songs ever)
Fallout Boy
Fenix TX
From Autumn to Ashes
Green Day
Billy Joel
Lit
Mindless Self Indulgence(one of the few industrial bands I like, and Adam hates 'em... go figure...)
the Misfits
My Chemical Romance
the Offspring
Our Lady Peace
Piebald
Pink Floyd
the Police
Queen
Rilo Kiley
the Smashing Pumpkins(old school, not the new shit)
Smash Mouth
Stone Temple Pilots
Sublime
Sunny Day Real Estate
the Toadies
Weezer
the Who

Movies:

12 Monkeys
25th Hour
8 Heads in a Duffle Bag
Almost Famous
American Beauty
Army of Darkness
Baseketball
Blow
Boogie Nights
Bowling for Columbine
Bringing Out the Dead
Bubba Ho-Tep
Cannibal! The Musical(Shpadoinkle!!)
Chasing Amy
Closer
Club Dread
The Crow
Cruel Intentions
Dangerous Liasons
Dead&Breakfast
Detroit Rock City
Devil's Rejects(Tutti Fuckin' Fruity)
Dogma
Donnie Darko(I want a Frank... lol)
Empire Records
Evil Deads 1&2
Fight Club
Four Brothers
Go
Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle
Heathers(I also want a Christian Slater to kill those I dislike lol)
Hedwig and the Angry Inch
Jackie Brown
Joe's Apartment
Kill Bills 1&2
Layer Cake
Lolita
the Man With the Screaming Brain
Memento
Not Another Teen Movie
Officer and a Gentleman
Orgazmo
Pleasantville
Puddle Cruisers
Pulp Fiction
Rent(yea blow me... It's awesome)
Reservoir Dogs
Resident Evil Apocalypse(STARS!!)
Requiem for a Dream
The Rocky Horror Picture Show
Starship Troopers
Saved!
Silent Hill
Serenity(Firefly rules! Fuck Buffy)
Se7en
Starship Troopers
Stuck on You
Super Troopers(Shenaningans!!)
Team America
Three Kings
Trainspotting
True Romance(you're so cool)
Usual Suspects
Waiting...(BATWING!!)
Watership Down(yea I'm a dork, but it's still one of my favorites)
ANY CHEESY ZOMBIE GOODNESS!!

Television:

I don't really watch TV too much, as you can see by most of my TV shows being cancelled:
Aeon Flux
Aqua Teen Hunger Force
Carnivale
Daria
Meerkat Manor (I love this show, and so does Adam!!)
Dead Like Me
Family Guy
Firefly
The Legend of Zelda(Kickin' it old school!!)
MXC(watching Japanese people embarass themselves never gets old)
NewsRadio
Oz
Robot Chicken
SeaLab 2021
The Shield
The Simpsons
Titus
Tru Calling
Undeclared
Wonderfalls
Okay, and I'm a sucker for all that Animal Planet shit with them saving the sick/abused animals

Books:

Anything Chuck Palahniuk, Bret Easton Ellis, Irvine Welsh, Tom Robbins, What Dreams May Come, Requiem for a Dream, Twelve, Watership Down(yea I'm still a dork), Dr. Tatiana's Sex Advice to All Creation

Heroes:

I don't really have heroes. Hell, I barely tolerate people in general, let alone call one my "hero."

Oh, and Jose. He knows why.

And Cousin Vinny. Ask Joe...

Oh, and Magical Trevor. Just look at him:
http://www.weebls-stuff.com/toons/magical+trevor/
He's so cool :)

My Blog

Mwahaha!! Fuck Bush!!

That $600 tax credit that I was supposed to blow on frivolous crap to help the economy is gone, already sent off to Capital One for my bills. After, of course, I logged on to BoA and said "HOLY CRAP!...
Posted by JenGads on Sat, 26 Apr 2008 10:47:00 PST

I’m so moody when I’m sick...

Well, I’ll wait till you listen, I won’t say a word To follow your instincts just never worked for me You’re silent but strong, (yeah, I’m playing that card) And you’re n...
Posted by JenGads on Wed, 09 Apr 2008 09:58:00 PST

Things that piss me off...

You know I’m sick. You know how sore my throat is. You know I can barely eat, let alone speak, without pain. Why are you trying to have a conversation with me like I can normally answer you?!...
Posted by JenGads on Tue, 08 Apr 2008 02:15:00 PST

Thanks for nothing

You called to say you wanted out.Well, I can’t say I blame you now.Sometimes you’ve got to foldbefore you’re found out.Well thanks for waiting this long to show yourself.Cause now th...
Posted by JenGads on Tue, 01 Apr 2008 01:03:00 PST

Too much time to think...

This is our last goodbyeI hate to feel the love between us dieBut it’s overJust hear this and then I’ll go:You gave me more to live for,More than you’ll ever know. This is our last ...
Posted by JenGads on Mon, 31 Mar 2008 01:57:00 PST

You always know I’m sad when...

My divorce from dependenceThat’s when you found meI was still softAnd we always were in troubleOdds stacked against usAnd trouble’s what we areWe get so farAnd then it just starts rew...
Posted by JenGads on Thu, 20 Mar 2008 09:41:00 PST

Annnnnnnnd it starts...

Okay, so maybe I only chose this as my sad song of the day because it's kinda like the advice Hamal gave me.  Or maybe what he told me not to do.  I don't remember.  Either way, it did ...
Posted by JenGads on Wed, 12 Mar 2008 08:27:00 PST

Fuck PETA!!

I step out of the dark, dusty room for FIVE MINUTES to have a snack, and read the most infuriating thing ever.  I fucking hate PETA.  You all know me, you know I how I loooooooove little an...
Posted by JenGads on Thu, 21 Feb 2008 01:28:00 PST

Yep...

Sometimes in the morning I am petrified and can't moveAwake but cannot open my eyesAnd the weight is crushing down on my lungs-I know I can't breathAnd hope someone will save me this ti...
Posted by JenGads on Tue, 12 Feb 2008 05:44:00 PST

I’m 24 and I’ve got everything to live for...

Oh man.  I remember being like 16 when this song first came out.  And 24 seemed so far away.  I figured I probably wouldn't even remember this song when it came out, but thought about h...
Posted by JenGads on Sat, 05 Jan 2008 10:09:00 PST