Rostov profile picture

Rostov

The pleasure . . is all mine.

About Me

Greetings comrades and decadent American swine. My name is Mikhail Vladimir Ilyich Lenin Yvegeny Rostov. When I'm not striking things, I like to engage in an INVASION of the U.S.A. Because I'm a Marxist insurgent, I like to speak in foreign languages ranging from German to Vietnamese; wherever there are Commies, it does not matter.I have assembled a multi-racial Communist horde of terrorists to committ an INVASION of the U.S.A. It consists of Cubans, Vietnamese, Chinese, Angolans, Russians, East Germans, Bulgarians, Beatnik Hippies, Drunken Trotskyite Popinjays, Estonians, Flaming Loony Liberal Democrats of the Hate-America Far Far Left, Grecians, Cockneys, Bearded Mustachioed and Beret-wearing Frenchmen, and a guy who kind of looks like a more menacing version of Daniel Stern.Our plan is to storm the beaches of Florida at midnight with Higgins Boats. Any lovers caught fornicating will be shot by Nico and then trampled for propaganda purposes. From there we will board a fleet of Ryder trucks synchronized to turn on the headlights as soon as we approach them.The plan is to bring down the decadent capitalist American Empire by sowing internal dischord until all the governors agree to meet in one location.And then . . .WE STRIKE!!!But first we have to go down to the Bayou and take out Hunter . . . and his armadillo. He round-house kicked me once . . . le cauchemarre!

My Interests

Striking Things; Throwing People Out Windows; Impersonating Friendly Coast Guard Captains; Scowling; Speaking in five different languages for no reason; Firing my rapid-fire, auto-reloading rocket-launcher; Destroying Decadent Capitalist Shopping Malls; Exchanging Drugs for Arms; Invading the U.S.A with Higgins Boats; Drinking Vodka straight out of the bottle even though it pisses off Nico. Oh, and killing Hunter.

I'd like to meet:

Hans Gruber, leader of the radical East German Volksfrei Party; Carlos the Jackal; Fraker; Ernst Blofeld

Music:

Soundtracks by Jimmy Page; Volga Boat Song

Movies:

Red Dawn; Invasion U.S.A.; Red Sonja; Red Scorpion; Red; Reds; Battleship Potemkin; Red Rover; Any movie where Robert Redford plays a Communist; The Hunt for Red October; Red Dragon; Red Eye; Red Planet; Legal Blonde 2: Red, White and Blue; Red Lights; The Red Violin; The Thin Red Line; Warm Water Under a Red Bridge; Red Corner; The Big Red One; Raise the Red Lantern; Red Rock West; Deep Red: The Hatchet Murders; For more, go see: http://www.rottentomatoes.com/search/movie.php?searchby=movi es&page=1&search=Red

Television:

Anything that Catapults the Propaganda.

Books:

Mao's Little Red Book; Das Kapital; The Communist Manifesto; War & Peace; Rogue State; Anything by Michael Moore . . . I just love his work, perhaps if I tell the Americans how much I like him by quoting from one of his books, they will become won over to the ways of Communism. On second thought, they'd probably just rally around the President. I know! I'll quote from a William Blum book! That's the ticket!

Heroes:

Mao, Stalin, Lenin, Khruschev, Castro, Ho Chi Minh, Karl Marx, Leon Trotsky, Friedrich Engels, David Horowitz, Irving Kristol, George W. Bush, my boss Dick Cheney, Ronald Reagan, Donald Rumsfeld, George H.W. Bush, Gorbachev, Deng Xiaoping

My Blog

A New Recruit?

After watching him work, I must say, I would simply LOVE to recruit this ninja into my network. Did you see how many decadent Imperialists he slaughters?...
Posted by Rostov on Fri, 28 Sep 2007 06:23:00 PST

Warning!

It has come to my attention that certain individuals linked to my network who merely pose as "friends" of my cause. In fact, these individuals are not who they say they are. Some of them are agents ...
Posted by Rostov on Fri, 09 Mar 2007 11:48:00 PST

How the KGB Handles Drug Dealers . . . .

Unlike the CIA, we never saw drug dealers as business partners....
Posted by Rostov on Thu, 18 May 2006 06:12:00 PST

Why I Fight - Hunter Killed My Sister!

Many of you have written in to me asking me why I have declared myself a sworn enemy of the capitalist, Hunter, and the decadent, empire of greed for whom he works, America.Some of you have accused me...
Posted by Rostov on Thu, 11 May 2006 08:32:00 PST

When I tell you guys to shoot up the place, I expect you to exercise some restraint!

Nico! Bring them all in. That's right, all of them. I have an announcement to make.[ . . .]Okay! Listen up, everybody. Nico just showed me the latest munitions bill and frankly, I'm disappointed in al...
Posted by Rostov on Sat, 25 Feb 2006 02:32:00 PST

Au contraire, Hunter. Nico was NOT easy. You just got lucky.

Hunter, you are so full of shit. How dare you say Nico was easy! Nico was many things: loyal henchman, answerer of phones, bringer of vodka bottles, assassin of decadent Capitalist half-nude love-bi...
Posted by Rostov on Sat, 11 Feb 2006 01:49:00 PST

They make it so easy . . .

Look at them, Nico. They make it so easy, don't they? They don't have a clue. Arguing over who gets to put the star on top of the ridiculously oversized Christmas tree; playing football and catch a...
Posted by Rostov on Sun, 05 Feb 2006 02:27:00 PST

Nico! Bring them in! All of them!

It's time to stop fooling around Nico. We've gone on long enough impersonating murderous National Guardsmen and police officers. The governors have assembled. We must bring them all in, Nico. Yes,...
Posted by Rostov on Fri, 27 Jan 2006 01:14:00 PST