Hollywood Steve profile picture

Hollywood Steve

Possibly The Greatest Picture Ever Taken Of Me

About Me

I have been working nights for three years now, so I am hardly ever around when you are. (But I still love you.) (Probably.) I am now and always have been a nerd, and I have the 29th-place finish in the 1989 national spelling bee to prove it. I am quiet until I get used to you. I like my alone time. I dislike crowds. My metabolism is insane. My family is not dysfunctional. I used to review music for allmusic.com, and still could if I had time. I was in "Yacht Rock." I would like more outlets to exercise my grasp of story structure. Traditional gender roles bore me. I enjoy satisfying basic biological drives in elaborate ways. I never know what to do with my hands.

My Interests

Boat noodles

[Per Episode 7, other interests are highly unsuitable for perusal by co-workers]

I'd like to meet:

Sex! Hahaha just kidding. Unless you're into it. ...Are you into it?

I am happy to add Yacht Rock fans I don't know personally, but I have to know that that's why you want to friend me. Drop me a note, or have some reference to Yacht Rock in your profile somewhere. Otherwise I assume the request was random, or spam, or that you want money, or creepy sex (like the kinds I'm NOT into), or to convert me to your religion/pyramid scheme. So if I can't put two and two together, I will probably ignore it. Note: I am very, very lazy about going through my friend requests. Don't take it personal, yo.

Music:

I bought the 160GB iPod. I think I should be set for a while.

Movies:

This Is Spinal Tap, Sid and Nancy, Secretary, Dr. Strangelove, Pootie Tang, Monty Python, WC Fields, early Woody Allen, Charlie Kaufman, Ed Wood (director and movie), Bad Santa, Harold and Maude, Rushmore, Heathers, Blue Velvet, City of God, The Stoned Age, Gummo, Leprechaun 1-5

Television:

Mr. Show, Tenacious D, Ben Stiller Show, Adult Swim, Simpsons, South Park, Da Ali G Show, The State, Police Squad, TV Funhouse, Ren and Stimpy, Twin Peaks, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, X-Files, Iron Chef, Venture Brothers, Metalocalypse

Books:

"The Bible." Man, did you read that one part where God turns the dude's wife into a pillar of salt for disobeying Him, so the dude's two daughters take him to a cave and drug him and have sex with him so they can get pregnant and give him a male heir? That shit was HOT, yo!

And don't even get me STARTED on Balaam and his talking ass.

Heroes:

The dude who picks the music for the Weather Channel's local forecasts. UPDATE: Apparently his name is Steve Hurst.

Also, the ancient dude who thought to invent cheese. HOW DID THAT EVER OCCUR TO ANYBODY?

My Blog

Oh well

So that VH1 hip-hop show only used me on one song  (No. 28, Ice Cube's "It Was a Good Day.")  If you sat through all five hours, I hope you enjoyed the other commentators.  Oh well, the...
Posted by Hollywood Steve on Sat, 11 Oct 2008 03:33:00 PST

I Am On VH1’s "100 Greatest Hip-Hop Songs"

VH1 is premiering a new hour of their "100 Greatest Hip-Hop Songs" special every night this week at 10 pm.  I'll be featured as one of the talking heads, though I have no idea exactly how much.&n...
Posted by Hollywood Steve on Mon, 29 Sep 2008 02:17:00 PST

Return to Supermans Ep. 4

I was featured in Episode 4 of Aaron Moles' bizarre hit Channel 101 show Return to Supermans.  Me and a couple other Yacht Rock dudes play three-fourths of KISS.  Watch all four ep...
Posted by Hollywood Steve on Fri, 09 May 2008 03:37:00 PST

YACHT ROCK 11 L.A. PREMIERE @ CHANNEL 101

Reposted from the Channel 101 blog:Holy Shit: NEW YACHT ROCK EPISODE at January ScreeningBoth before and after its 2006 cancellation, YACHT ROCK endured as a staple of Channel 101 programming. By just...
Posted by Hollywood Steve on Thu, 17 Jan 2008 11:53:00 PST

Yacht Rock NYC Pictures

Here is a link to some photos of the sweet-ass Knitting Factory screening on December 27.  Photos and write-up courtesy of Jackie Roman. If anybody else on my friends list has photos, feel f...
Posted by Hollywood Steve on Mon, 07 Jan 2008 02:23:00 PST

Yacht Rock in NYC

Posted as a bulletin already: In case you haven't heard, or in case you've forgotten: Yacht Rock will be premiering Episode 11 on December 27 at the Knitting Factory in New York City. Not the L.A. Kni...
Posted by Hollywood Steve on Sun, 09 Dec 2007 03:50:00 PST

VH1's 40 Most Softsational Soft Rock Songs

Bored out of your mind this weekend? Catch me, J.D. "Michael McDonald" Ryznar, and Demorge "Michael Jackson" Brown representing Yacht Rock on the two-hour countdown extravaganza "VH1's 40 Mo...
Posted by Hollywood Steve on Wed, 30 May 2007 04:13:00 PST

Revenge of the Russians

Here is a rejected Channel 101 pilot I made with Aaron "Pool Master" Moles over the course of March and April.  It is called "Weapon of Mass Destruction 2: Revenge of the Russians."  Basical...
Posted by Hollywood Steve on Wed, 30 May 2007 04:10:00 PST

Wow, I Haven't Blogged In Awhile

Well, that's taken care of!
Posted by Hollywood Steve on Thu, 15 Mar 2007 06:54:00 PST

Reviews of Hallmark Channel holiday movies

I spent just about all of my holiday vacation in Michigan, on the couch, watching television with the family.  Our new family holiday tradition is to watch crappy holiday movies on the ...
Posted by Hollywood Steve on Wed, 03 Jan 2007 03:13:00 PST