Redneck Woman profile picture

Redneck Woman

A country girl can survive

About Me

I'm a country girl to the bone. I have three pretty babies little Haus, little Tommy and John jr. Me and My old man just bought a new double wide out near the lake. My old man John Sr. is a truck driver and I' m the daytime manger at burger king. I love fishing in the summer and snipe hunting in the winter. I also like to drink beer and riding on my jet ski. Now that I live closer to the lake ill be out everyday this summer on my jet ski. This summer john jr is gonna get his first fishin pole. His daddy is gonna teach him how to land the money making crapie. Haus and Tommy are still to young to fish so they will spend the summer with there homo unlce making paper dolls and playing dress up. I'm also fixin to start school to learn medical billing. I've been at burger king since i was 16 so its time to move on and get myself a education. I want to make more money so i can buy one of those plasma tv to watch the races. I love me some NASCAR. Nothing like spending the day with the family drinking beer, eating pork rinds and watching the races. MySpace Layouts MySpace Layouts

My Interests

I love watching people get hurt. I like watching america's funniest home videos. The videos where the kids hit there daddy's in the nuts with random objects really makes me laugh. I also like to hunt and fish. Drinking whiskey is one of my favorite past times. Nothing like a belt of black velvet in the morning to get the good ole motor running. A family camping trip is also fun. I love bonding under the stars with the kids and my old man. I'm the undefeated champion of our family games called the dutch oven. I like watching my second cousin compete at the truck pulls with his truck named the poon jammer. I love getting drunking and peeing in the snow. Then my old man laughs and tells the babys not to eat the snow. My friend Tina and I love to get into bar fights. Thats how i lost on of my front tooth and now wear a glass eye. I have the largest collection of beer caps. I even have a couple of that exotic sam adams beer caps.

I'd like to meet:

I would love to meet Jeff Gordon. I also would love to meet Willie Nelson. I've been a fan of Willie since I were a kid. If i was given the chance I would also like to meet George Bush. I think he is doing a damn fine job. He shouldn't listen to what those yankee liberals say. If it wasn't for Dubbya those al-quida terrorist from iraq would be running all of our country blowing themselves up. One day i'll get to see the living legend Pat Roberts speak live. I would love to discuss politicals over steak with ann coulter.

Music:

I love country music. Nothing soothes the soul more than the sound of the steel guitar. I love everything from classic Hank Williams to today stars like Brad Paisley and Sara Evans. I don't like that rap music. Its is degrading and mean to women. Rappers only make songs about slapping there bitches. If it doesn't twang it ain't my thang!

Movies:

Ever since i got my new vcr for christmas i been rentin a bunch of movies from that blockbusters. I rented the entire season of deadwood on tape. That show makes me laugh. I love calling my aunt donna a cock sucker. I rented that new documentary march of the penguins. Boy i was disappointed i kept waiting for uncle norman to jump out and start clubbing those birds. Boy was i mad when i found out it was all a joke and the movie wasn't about him. One day i'm gonna get me one of them dvd players from walmarts. I hear movies look real clear on the dvd. Don't think i'm just another dumb redneck i'm very cultured i watch musicals also. I love the best little whore house in texas.

Television:

My favorite tv show is cowboy u on cmt. The boys and that show sure have nice teeth unlike my old man. His teeth are falling out of his head. Every day i watch reruns of dukes of hazzard on cmt. When i was a little girl i always wanted to grow up and be just like daisey duke. I never miss a nice car race. When and got me one of those teveo's now i never miss a race. I'm also a faithful follower of WWE. I remember when that tragic mishap happened with Owen Hart. I also one the hee-haw box set. Now that is a timeless classic. OH! Can't forget about cops sometimes when they do the show from wichita i see my third cousin karl rove.

Books:

I really don't read books. Sometimes when i'm pooing i read the tv guide and smoke a ciggarette.

Heroes:

I have many heros. I love willie nelson. He's a human pickle. He has permenant whiskey face just like my second daddy. I also love pat roberts. His stories on the 700 club are really heart warming. I also love Jerry Falwell he has taught me all my family values. I also love my haus's daddy he never gives up. No matter how many times he goes to rehad he just can't stay away from the bottle. My aunt donna is the most talent lady in the world. She is the only person who can suck the meat out of a hotdOG and leave the casing in tact. She also can suck a golf ball throw a waterhose. The marlboro man is also one of my heros because of his dedication. Not even a little case of cancer could slow him down. Bill O'Reily because he is the most honest journalist i know. He has one heckova fact checkin department. Last but not my all time hero is Jeff Gordon the king of all racers.