Conquering Valhalla profile picture

Conquering Valhalla

It means vagina in German

About Me

Thank you to Michael Oatway for taking this video of us. Our dear friend has passed on, but will never be forgotten. All of our thoughts and hearts are with him and his family and other friends. Rest In Peace.
Get this video and more at MySpace.com
All of our thanks goes out to Mark Zanin for the superb job on the following music video. Sorry for having the credits cut.
The colossal beef titans of Conquering Valhalla... five warriors given license to soar by the great Gods of Pubicon 3. The great devourers of babies and destructors of the un-metal, slayers of gay dragons and inhalers of cannons. All five members of this massive musical managerie of megalithic proportions were all born with full beards at the same time from within a giant robotic vagina known only as "Steve" on top of glorious Skull Mountain, in Castle Wolfensteinke. Fed on a steady diet of baby meat, weed and beer the five drunken vikings grew up strong and fast, developing man-stalks that could crush buildings and bodies so beefy they can cause unborn fetuses to explode in the womb just by flexing their eyelids.
Soon these sexually driven pinnacles of manliness knew their powers, though undeniably great and ass kicking, could be used for more domination than is really humanly necessary, and so they began to make music. Not the sweet kind that puts your darling little kids to sleep... the kind that forced zombified vikings to rise from the dead and windmill headbang while eating elderly villagers. Anal and Mack picked up the great Wailing Axes of Doom, Danger found his rhythm on the War Congas of Untimely Death, Brutus used the Harpies Shreak of Ear Piercing Destruction and (the Fall of) Troy found the Rumbling Guillotine of Torture to be his instrument of choice. Together these Overlords of Supra-Annihilation were creating the very sounds of death and the world would soon know the greatness of their collective powers!
Now on the local Ottawa scene Conquering Valhalla have made themsleves known both locally and provincially, in preparation for inevitable world domination.
These He-men of modern metal lords command everyone to support them at their shows and download their badass tunes. Remeber, each member of Conquering Valhalla will personally make dirty, nasty medieval love to all our screaming, salivating fans during and after our shows. Keep it metal and support the vikings!
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My Interests

Music:

Member Since: 1/10/2006
Band Members: ANAL "STEINKE" - Lead, Rhythm Guitar & Drunken Viking Warrior

MACK - Rhythm, Lead Guitar & Sexy Bearded Pirate with 10 inches of Woman Pleasing Man Stalk

BRUTUS - Vocals & Great Devourer of Babies

TROY - Bass

Rick Danger - Master of the Danger Zone

Influences: Amon Amarth, At the Gates, From A Second Story Window, Lamb of God, Children of Bodom, Arch Enemy, In Flames, Beneath the Massacre, Dillinger Escape Plan, Sleep Terror......... and about 7004 other bands.
Sounds Like: Eating your own babies... twice.

ONLY $5

LOCAL COMPILATION CD


A compilation album of mainly Ottawa local talent including 16 tracks by a selection of awsome bands. Selling for only $5 this is worth picking up. Contact Conquering Valhalla if you would like to purchase a copy of this comp. Support your local talent!

If you like this then please Pop it at PopCurrent.com!

Record Label: We anxiously await a record label
Type of Label: None

My Blog

Lyrics for ...And So It Rained Black

And So It Rained Black Words: Bryan Lomas Music: Conquering Valhalla   Cold, this pale wind lashes at my face marking the skin With the weathering of ages come before and long past Pervading my b...
Posted by Conquering Valhalla on Fri, 28 Jul 2006 09:42:00 PST