Ink Mathematics

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I am worth $2,246,350 on HumanForSale.com
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A brief introduction:
I am the most amazing person you could ever hope to meet; if you met me, you'd probably die. Oxford and Cambridge gave me university offers before I had even applied, but I decided to turn them down so as to give less outstanding people the chance of achieving my intellectual status. When I ask it to, water can flow up hills. There is a bounty on my head in Turkmenistan for tap dancing in their private airspace. I am the sole discoverer of the majority of today's medicine; most of these came through my unaided one man expedition in the jungles of Borneo. I also discovered over 300 new species of animals during my spare time out there. The Mayans dissapeared because of me. My other exploits abroad include building 15 wells for a thirsty Kenyan village (single handedly), arranging the rehoming of over 500, 000 african refugees, and travelling back in time to help Arthur Guinness found his world famous beverage. I don't get altitude sickness. Ever. I eradicated smallpox and own the laboratory with the surviving strain of the virus inside it. I invented the internet. Its really not Terry's chocolate orange; its mine (I own the original recipe, which is kept in my own personal vault at the vatican, alongside my recipes for Heinz tomato ketchup, the Colnel's Original Recipe chicken, my original Michaelangelos and collection of first edition books). I have achieved godlike status in over half of todays jungle tribes. I invented those little umbrella things people put in their cocktail drinks. Mr T thanks me when I pity him and Chuck Norris steers well clear of my roundhouse kicks, which incidentally, can fell 100 year old Redwood trees.
As you can probably tell from the above, I like to not take life too seriously.
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