Johnnie - ProfilesArchive

About Me

I'm packing up this page and moving to MySpace Comedy. (I still think I'm in comedy.)You can make life easier for me (That's your job, right?) by clicking on Johnnie Walker - No Relation and ADD ME. Or I'll send you a request in the next few days. If we really are friends, you'll or I will accept.You can go to my pimped out page and read my blog or watch my videos and judge me as a person.http://www.myspace.com/mrjohnniewalker,I don't know if it will be any funnier.

My Interests

Movies, TV, politics, sports, NFL Football, fantasy football, science, anchorwomen, ADD, bicycling, gadgets, sleep, waffles, hookers and crack

I'd like to meet:

A talking Horse. I would even tolerate the smell.

Music:

Prince, Elvis Costello, 50 Cent, Jackson 5, Dire Straits, Ween, Dave Matthews, Talking Heads

Movies:

Blazing Saddles, Fargo, Do the Right Thing, Napoleon Dynamite, This is Spinal Tap, Pulp Fiction, Seven, Requiem for a Dream, The Princess Bride, Ferris Beuler's Day Off, Office Space, Citizen Kane, Boiler Room, Oldboy, Cool Hand Luke, Boogie Nights, Trainspotting, Boyz in the Hood

Television:

Scrubs, Countdown with Keith Olbermann, Pardon the Interuption, Lost, Deadwood, Dragnet, Sopranos, Simpsons, The Office (both), SportsCenter, The Late Show with Letterman, The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson, The Daily Show, Aqua Teen Hunger Force, Pinky and the Brain

Books:

Green Eggs and Ham, Poker for Dummies

Heroes:

You. Really. Please, don't hit me.

My Blog

Freedom of Speech

Whenever a celebrity has an offensive meltdown in front of a camera or microphone, and the public comes down on him. some defender of justice pipes up with "Whatever happened to Freedom of Speech?" An...
Posted by Johnnie on Tue, 21 Nov 2006 11:00:00 PST

Greetings from Memphis

I'm in Memphis for the weekend to look at assisted living facilities for my mom. She doesn't know. She was sad that I could only stay for the weekend (Awww.) Like I didn't feel bad enough that I'm her...
Posted by Johnnie on Sat, 21 Oct 2006 10:44:00 PST

Mom Called...

It's always a surprise when i get a call from my mother. Mom lives in Tennessee, and has Alzheimer's and really can only dial 2 phone numbers- her sisters who live nearby. i call her every week or 2 b...
Posted by Johnnie on Mon, 09 Oct 2006 01:09:00 PST

I'm Running for Congress

I am now announcing my campaign as an independent candidate for the US House of Representatives, and I'd like to try out some slogans:Johnnie for CongressBecause I need a job with benefitsDo a brother...
Posted by Johnnie on Mon, 18 Sep 2006 01:34:00 PST

Get to the Point

How often does this happen to you. You check your cell phone and there is a message waiting. You call the voice mail box and hear the soothing tones of voice mail lady,"Wednesday two thirty-six p.m." ...
Posted by Johnnie on Wed, 30 Aug 2006 02:28:00 PST

Got Milk

I've been eating my cereal with rice milk. We know it's not really "milk" sucked by machines from tiny rice teats. Actually it's packaged as rice "drink". I've arrived at this destination after more t...
Posted by Johnnie on Sun, 30 Jul 2006 12:46:00 PST

Electric Toothbrush

I was in line with a friend at the grocery store, and there in the checkout isle among the batteries, magazines and candy bars, were electric toothbrushes. I have long beeen intrigued by the prospect ...
Posted by Johnnie on Thu, 20 Jul 2006 12:26:00 PST

Kimberly wants to be my friend!

She's a 20 year old student from Tampa Florida and she wears a thong. (How did she know I like thongs?) She has 4211 friends (at the moment), so I can't help but feel special. She's single, doesn't dr...
Posted by Johnnie on Sun, 16 Jul 2006 03:16:00 PST

43 (Not George)

Today is my birthday and mostly what comes to mind is that my knees hurt when I go up and down stairs. I'd like to buy a house someday and I think one story is tall enough. No McMansion. Just a bedroo...
Posted by Johnnie on Wed, 21 Jun 2006 08:20:00 PST

unemployed actor becomes unemployed comedian

I've been making a living as something like an actor for the past 10 years. Enough of a living to qualify for SAG health insurance since January 1998, and not much more. And that has been cool. So co...
Posted by Johnnie on Sun, 28 May 2006 12:11:00 PST