The Tobacco King profile picture

The Tobacco King

I am here for Dating, Serious Relationships, Friends and Networking

About Me

I am many things. I can be all that is good and just with the world, or I can personify everything wrong with mankind. I tend to try to stay in the middle most of the time and unleash my extremes into a character. That's right readers, I'm an actor, and a dedicated one, though I currently work full time. When I'm not earning money to eliminate my prior debt from training, I try and work with other local actors if for nothing else than the joy of creation. I play some guitar, write some songs teetering over the line of appropriateness, and I will continue to defend them no matter how much shit they get me into. I love to laugh. I love passion, I respect honesty. I believe in truth and ethics. I believe in my dreams. And I have stories, oh, do I have stories.

My Interests

Running through the streets naked covered in oil with fistfulls of cash while screaming in the language only known as "Blibbidy Blah!". Spending time with people I enjoy spending time with. Acting and Theatre, as well as Film and other forms of widespread communication.

I'd like to meet:

A Director/Writer/Producer that thinks I'm God's gift to the stage. People who share the passion of creating good, truthful theatre. People who understand that it's okay to joke about ANYTHING. Anyone who can smoke a joint, listen to Pink Floyd and be completely happy. People who are slightly insane, they hold conversations with me well. People who laugh when I "Take it too far". After that, anybody cool.
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Music:

Pink Floyd, Nobuo Uematsu, Gogol Bordello, Billy Joel, The Black Mages, The Doors, Godsmack, The Machine, 80's and 90's Metallica, Ogden Edsl, Sparks, Stephen Lynch, Tenacious D, Tom Lehrer, Utopia Banished, "Weird" Al Yankovich. And of course, my wonderful songs.

Movies:

A Fish Called Wanda, Thank You For Smoking, Beer, South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut, Some Like it Hot, American Pie, The Odd Couple, Metropolis, Team America World Police, Death to Smoochy, Chicken Run, Shrek, Dirty Rotten Scoundrels, The Hebrew Hammer, Groundhog Day, The Birdcage, The Aristocrats, Scary Movie, Pink Floyd The Wall

Television:

Curb Your Enthusiasm, Fraiser, The Tick, Fawlty Towers, Monty Python's Flying Circus, Family Guy, Simpsons, Daily Show, Reno 911, South Park, Home Movies, Powerpuff Girls (Before it really became a kids show) Johnny Bravo, Entourage

Books:

TBA

Heroes:

Hitler, Mick Foley, Jafar, Monty Python, Larry David, Pink Floyd, Tom Lehrer, Kefka Palazzo

My Blog

Bovine Spot Removal

  Prologue   (We open with a close up on the face of a cow)Narrator/Interviewer: Decaying.  Diseased.  Spotty.  This is the face of theSpotty Cow.  But at last, there is...
Posted by The Tobacco King on Thu, 27 Sep 2007 11:00:00 PST

Per Request: "High Self Esteem" lyrics

Whenever I get depressed, I look at My Penis, and it makes me feel good.My Penis is constantly mistaken as a sign from GodThe veins on My Penis are the first recorded documents of written languag...
Posted by The Tobacco King on Wed, 11 Oct 2006 12:52:00 PST

Slug! (Based on a True Story)

Slug slug slugSlug slug slug slug slug slug slug slugSlug slug slug slug slug slug slug slugIm sitting on a rockSlug slug slug slug slug slug slugHolding a tiny thin stickSlug slug slug slug slug slug...
Posted by The Tobacco King on Thu, 15 Jun 2006 10:17:00 PST

Kitchen Song

Why are ya sitting there looking at me? You ought to know theres a place you should be It should make you sick to look at your own face Youre a disgrace to the whole female race You dont seem to reali...
Posted by The Tobacco King on Thu, 15 Jun 2006 10:16:00 PST

The Knowledge Trade

Shalom there, my negro friend, this Jews got something to say I saw you coming around the bend, saw you headed my way You seem like youve got good command of all the trends today My people on the othe...
Posted by The Tobacco King on Thu, 15 Jun 2006 10:15:00 PST

Never Stray

Tried to use religion, but all that I found was some Sick Priest beating off underneath his gown This twisted world has me searching, searching in vain For something to numb my mind from all this pain...
Posted by The Tobacco King on Thu, 15 Jun 2006 10:13:00 PST

I Should Have Said Something

I should have said something Anything would do I should have said something I was sitting right next to you I should have said something Cause you seemed so blind I should have said something But I th...
Posted by The Tobacco King on Thu, 15 Jun 2006 10:12:00 PST

Acts of a Desperate Man

He downs the bottle in his hand, hes flown off to some distant land But its okay, his aunts gone for the weekend The last 3 days have been just fine, filled with beer, drugs and wine But a different b...
Posted by The Tobacco King on Thu, 15 Jun 2006 10:11:00 PST

The Holy Pan/God's Needs

Man enters into his house to find 5 men with different colored towels on their heads, praying towards the windowsill. Man: Whats going on here? Fanatic: Do not disturb our ritual! Man: ...
Posted by The Tobacco King on Thu, 15 Jun 2006 10:08:00 PST

The Walking Institute

Scene: Office of the CEO of a successful banana repair business.  CEO is sitting at desk when in walks Employee. Employee: You wanted to see me sir?  CEO: Yes, yes, have a seat, Richard...
Posted by The Tobacco King on Thu, 15 Jun 2006 10:07:00 PST