Cap'n Shady

I'm one of those people that can fall asleep while driving and still keep a perfect score. I am usually found yelling at elderly people, drinking quarts of Ralph's brand Marshmallow sauce or slapping ponies and other malignant horses.Occasionally I am found using oven mitts to handle radioactive isotopes.I seem to have made a life out of following the lyrics of Kenny Rogers songs. That man is a fucking genius. Seriously. No, really.Oh yeah, I have that thing you were looking for the other day and you can't have it back until I get all the butterscotch out of the breast pocket.