Badger profile picture

Badger

Illegitimus Non-Carborundum

About Me


Free Halloween countdown from FlashBannerNow.com
I am a dynamic figure, often seen scaling walls and crushing ice. I have been known to remodel train stations on my lunch breaks, making them more efficient in the area of heat retention. I translate ethnic slurs for Cuban refugees, I write award-winning operas, I manage time efficiently. Occasionally, I tread water for three days in a row.
I woo women with my sensuous and godlike trombone playing, I can pilot bicycles up severe inclines with unflagging speed, and I cook Thirty-Minute brownies in twenty minutes. I am an expert in stucco, a veteran in love, and an outlaw in Peru.
Using only a hoe and a large glass of water, I once single-handedly defended a small village in the Amazon Basin from a horde of ferocious army ants. I play bluegrass cello, I was scouted by the Mets, I am the subject of numerous documentaries. When I'm bored, I build large suspension bridges in my yard. I enjoy urban hang gliding. On Wednesdays, after school, I repair electrical appliances free of charge.
I am an abstract artist, a concrete analyst, and a ruthless bookie. Critics worldwide swoon over my original line of corduroy evening wear. I don't perspire. I am a private citizen, yet I receive fan mail. I have been caller number nine and have won the weekend passes. Last summer, I toured New Jersey with a traveling centrifugal-force demonstration team. I bat .400. My deft floral arrangements have earned me fame in international botany circles. Children trust me.
I can hurl tennis rackets at small moving objects with deadly accuracy. I once read Paradise Lost, Moby Dick and David Copperfield in one day and still had time to refurbish an entire dining room that evening. I know the exact location of every food item in the supermarket. I have performed several covert operations for the CIA. I sleep once a week; when I do sleep, I sleep in a chair. While on vacation in Canada I successfully negotiated with a group of terrorists who has seized a small bakery. The laws of physics do not apply to me.
I balance, I weave, I dodge, I frolic, and all my bills are paid. On weekends, to let off steam, I participate in full-contact origami. Years ago I discovered the meaning of life, but forgot to write it down. I have made extraordinary four course meals using only a mouli and a toaster oven. I breed prize-winning clams. I have won bullfights in San Juan, cliff-diving competitions in Sri Lanka and spelling bees at the Kremlin. I have played Hamlet, I have performed open-heart surgery, and I have spoken with Elvis.
You have been marked on my profile map!
..
You are Quagmire, you are a massive pervert and
care about nothing but girls.
Which Family Guy Character are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
Which Young Ones character are you?
You are Vyvyan!

Your childhood will only encourage you to spread the chaos elsewhere. Think globally, Act locally. You will either invent a new chemical agent capable of wiping out entire ant species, or invent a new ant species capable of wiping out entire chemical plants. You will meet and fondle the first person who has a fetish for push-ups and fore-head studs.
Warning: Stay away from open flame!
Take this quiz !
Quizilla | Join| Make A Quiz | More Quizzes | Grab Code
which happy bunny are you?
congratulations. you are the kiss my ass happy bunny. You don't care about anyone or anything. You must be so proud
Take this quiz !
Quizilla | Join| Make A Quiz | More Quizzes | Grab Code
Which Watership Down Character are You?
You are Hazel!
Take this quiz !
Quizilla | Join| Make A Quiz | More Quizzes | Grab Code
How Rockabilly are You? Your Result: Psycho-billy You are the height of Psycho cool. You can count yourself up there with Nick 13, Necroman, and those crazy Euro-cats Mad-Sin. Wear your Euro-flat top tall and proud.


Cool-Cat
Psycho-Bitch out of Hell
Square
Twilight Zone
How Rockabilly are You?
I've been on a Rundgren kick lately...Haven't seen this in YEARS!
.. width="425" height="350" ..
My secret shame...JANGLE POP!!!

My Interests

1970's-1980's era Fender and Gibson basses.
American muscle cars from 1959-1971.
Harley Davidsons and 1969-1974 era Choppers, not this modern crap.
Rasslin', especially cruiserweights and luchas.
Typical White Trash stuff...

I'd like to meet:

Elvis, Jesus, and Johnny Cash, preferably in that order. It would be cool to sit down with all three on a summer afternoon. I'd think they'd have some incredible stories to tell over a few plates of BBQ and some cold ones...

Music:

Old school hard rock, 1970's proto punk, and Southern Metal: MC5, Iggy, New York Dolls, Ramones, Television, Motorhead, The Blasters, Jason & the Scorchers, Nashville Pussy, 9-Pound Hammer, SuperSuckers, Social Distortion, Asphalt Blaster, Gargantua, Whiskey Bitch, The 440's, The Last Vegas, The Friggs, The Twin Six, The Cherry Valence...

Rockabilly: Elvis, Brian Setzer, Three Bad Jacks, Rev. Horton Heat, Belmont Playboys, Painkillers, Southern Culture on the Skids, The Cramps...

Old school Honky Tonk: Johnny Cash, Buck Owens, Tom T. Hall, Chet Adkins, Glen Campbell, Roy Clark, Tennessee Ernie Ford, Hank Sinatra. There hasn't been a good country song written since 1975...

Local/regional bands that play the Heavy Rebel Weekender: Billy Joe Winghead, Mad Daddys, Jimmy & the Teasers, Artimus Pyledriver, Psychocharger, Dragstrip Syndicate, Sasquatch & the Sickabillys, Nekkid, Bo-Stevens, Truckstop Preachers, Rocket 350, Blind Pharaohs, 7 Shot Screamers, The Tremors, Speed Crazy, Jack Black...

My secret shame is mid-80's Jangle-Pop from NC: The Woods, Don Dixon, The Graphic, The Connells, Fetchin' Bones, Sneakers, Snatches of Pink, Arrogance, Rick Rock, too many others to count...

Movies:

Anything with lots of female nudity, explosions, kung-fu and ninjas...

Television:

Don't watch much. It's bad for you...I do partake in the occasional WWE product and sometimes Adult Swim...With three young'uns it's hard to find time to just sit...

My Blog

Farewell my loyal and trusted friend...

In 1994 my wife and I went  to the Humane Society to look for a new puppy.  After an hour of checking out pup after pup we couldn't find anyone that struck our ...
Posted by Badger on Tue, 11 Oct 2005 01:29:00 PST

Turning 40 Part II...Soulmates and letting go

Today marks about 10 days into the 40th year of my life. This evening I decided to look back and check my progress to see how I'm doing... It has been an interesting 10 days to say the least. I h...
Posted by Badger on Sun, 19 Aug 2007 10:25:00 PST

My tornado adventure...

Last Thursday, I was driving to Atlantic Beach NC for a long weekend.  (The wife and kids were already down there.) After being sunny and HOT all day, I noticed that it was starting to cloud up e...
Posted by Badger on Mon, 13 Aug 2007 10:11:00 PST

On turning 40...

Sometime in the next 24 hours or so, I will enter my 40th year as a resident of planet Earth and somehow not getting myself killed.  "They" say that life begins at 40, so I guess my warmup and pr...
Posted by Badger on Wed, 08 Aug 2007 06:01:00 PST