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I am a dynamic figure, often seen scaling walls and crushing ice. I have been known to remodel train stations on my lunch breaks, making them more efficient in the area of heat retention. I translate ethnic slurs for Cuban refugees, I write award-winning operas, I manage time efficiently. Occasionally, I tread water for three days in a row.
I woo women with my sensuous and godlike trombone playing, I can pilot bicycles up severe inclines with unflagging speed, and I cook Thirty-Minute brownies in twenty minutes. I am an expert in stucco, a veteran in love, and an outlaw in Peru.
Using only a hoe and a large glass of water, I once single-handedly defended a small village in the Amazon Basin from a horde of ferocious army ants. I play bluegrass cello, I was scouted by the Mets, I am the subject of numerous documentaries. When I'm bored, I build large suspension bridges in my yard. I enjoy urban hang gliding. On Wednesdays, after school, I repair electrical appliances free of charge.
I am an abstract artist, a concrete analyst, and a ruthless bookie. Critics worldwide swoon over my original line of corduroy evening wear. I don't perspire. I am a private citizen, yet I receive fan mail. I have been caller number nine and have won the weekend passes. Last summer, I toured New Jersey with a traveling centrifugal-force demonstration team. I bat .400. My deft floral arrangements have earned me fame in international botany circles. Children trust me.
I can hurl tennis rackets at small moving objects with deadly accuracy. I once read Paradise Lost, Moby Dick and David Copperfield in one day and still had time to refurbish an entire dining room that evening. I know the exact location of every food item in the supermarket. I have performed several covert operations for the CIA. I sleep once a week; when I do sleep, I sleep in a chair. While on vacation in Canada I successfully negotiated with a group of terrorists who has seized a small bakery. The laws of physics do not apply to me.
I balance, I weave, I dodge, I frolic, and all my bills are paid. On weekends, to let off steam, I participate in full-contact origami. Years ago I discovered the meaning of life, but forgot to write it down. I have made extraordinary four course meals using only a mouli and a toaster oven. I breed prize-winning clams. I have won bullfights in San Juan, cliff-diving competitions in Sri Lanka and spelling bees at the Kremlin. I have played Hamlet, I have performed open-heart surgery, and I have spoken with Elvis.
You have been marked on my profile map!
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You are Quagmire, you are a massive pervert and
care about nothing but girls.
Which Family Guy Character are You?
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Which Young Ones character are you?
You are Vyvyan!
Your childhood will only encourage you to spread the chaos elsewhere. Think globally, Act locally. You will either invent a new chemical agent capable of wiping out entire ant species, or invent a new ant species capable of wiping out entire chemical plants. You will meet and fondle the first person who has a fetish for push-ups and fore-head studs.
Warning: Stay away from open flame!
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which happy bunny are you?
congratulations. you are the kiss my ass happy bunny. You don't care about anyone or anything. You must be so proud
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Which Watership Down Character are You?
You are Hazel!
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How Rockabilly are You? Your Result: Psycho-billy You are the height of Psycho cool. You can count yourself up there with Nick 13, Necroman, and those crazy Euro-cats Mad-Sin. Wear your Euro-flat top tall and proud.
Cool-Cat
Psycho-Bitch out of Hell
Square
Twilight Zone
How Rockabilly are You?
I've been on a Rundgren kick lately...Haven't seen this in YEARS!
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My secret shame...JANGLE POP!!!