After noticing that many of my Illinois town and city brethren have pages on myspace, I decided it was time for me.
My name is Galesburg, Illinois and I am located on I-74 approximately 45 miles from Peoria, the Quad Cities, Burlington, Iowa, and Western Illinois University in Macomb.
To give you a brief history, I was founded way back in 1837 and named after George Washington Gale. He was a standup guy. I then gots me a college right away. Knox College to be exact. Abe Lincoln had a famous debate with Stephen Douglas there. That was cool. I got really big when the railroad decided to run through me and not my hick brother Knoxville. Screw Knoxville. Legendary poet Carl Sandburg was born here. The railroad built Lake Storey just north of me, which developed in to a popular spot for recreation. For many years I was home to the Admiral plant, which later became Maytag, where they made refrigerators. They opened a mall, and named it after Carl Sandburg. How he has anything to do with shopping, I don’t know.
In 2004 the Maytag plant closed. That made me sad. Lots of people lost their jobs to people in Reynosa, Mexico. The benefit is that it has caused real estate prices to plummit. Looking for a house? Maybe one exclusively for production of methamphetamines? Let’s talk.
Yeah, I have a lot of meth production here. It makes me feel kinda funny
Today Knox College is home to approximately 1,500 hippies whom mostly come from Chicago. They typically stay within the 6 block radius of campus. Most of the women would be hot, except they don’t shave anything. Look out for hackey sacks too. I do like flunk day. Flunk day makes me happy.
Lake Storey still exists. It serves as a summertime escape for kids looking to use the restroom. The woods surrounding me also serve as a location for wacky youngsters to drink and have sex. Don’t think I don’t see that.
The mall is still around. You can visit JC Penney, Sears, Bergners, or Kmart. But that’s about it. Everything else closed. Still, because the shopping industry is so robust in me, they are now deciding to expand me a little bit and build a Super Wal-Mart and a Menards. Yay!
I tried to have a strip club, but many people showed up to protest and say nobody wants wants a strip club in town. Except many people went to it. They say there was too much trouble, but it had the lowest incidents of any bar in town. Now the girls are not naked. That made me sad.
Knox County, my home, has the highest teen birth rate outside of Chicago. Proving the lack of things there are to do for the youth in this town.
