Alexander Hamilton

I was born in 1755 (or maybe it was 1757 lol) on the island of Nevis in the Carribean. My mother was a white woman of low social standing, and my father ("a drunken Scotch pedlar" *oh snap*) abandonned her. I quickly rose through the island society, eventually impressing the community enough to help raise a full scholarship to King's College (which eventually became Columbia University)!I was an artillery commander in the Revolution, becoming George Washington's aide-de-camp at age 21. When the war ended, I started my own law practice and married a very young, influential New York woman, Elizabeth Schulyer.When the Articles of Confederation collapsed, it was my job to help shore up support for the new Constitution in the swing-state of New York. I won. James Madison, John Jay, and I wrote the Federalist Papers, which not only helped promote the Constitution but to this day still provides an objective reference on the proper function of our federal government.With all that post-war debt, I also helped craft a national economic policy that put early America on sound financial footing.I died in a duel with Aaron Burr on July 12, 1804. He might have killed me, but guess who still reads and admires my work two hundred years later? That's right, bitch. Alexander "Fucking" Hamilton. And don't you forget it.