Vladimir Illyich Lenin - ProfilesArchive

About Me

Born in Simbirsk, Russia in April 1870, I had a relatively uncomfortable youth. My older brother, Alexander, was hanged in 1887 by the rotten Tsar Alexander III for which I was picked on by my peers (assholes).Like my brother, I, too, became a revolutionary, though I rejected his terrorist tactics. Instead, I advocated the creation of a revolutionary vanguard that would seize state power and lead the masses to glorious revolution. From the ruins of 1905, I constructed my Bolshevik party which assaulted the Winter Palace in October 1917 and took power in Russia. Feeling vindictive, my childhood bullies were thrown on the first train to a Siberian Gulag for summer camp.In 1924, feeling confused about my sexuality and really wanting to live life, I staged my own death and escaped from Moscow to Siberia. From there, I moved south through Mongolia and ended up in Shanghai where I operated an opium den for about six years. Some time later, I hitchhiked my way through Southeast Asia to the Middle East, hopped on a boat to cross through the Suez Canal (just in time to give the finger to Anthony Eden's goons), and landed in Algeria.Eventually, I crossed the Atlantic Ocean and traveled (in disguise, of course) through the Central American isthmus and up to San Francisco where I waited on tables for a few months. Finally, I caught a Greyhound bus and went up through Chicago to Winnipeg, Canada, where I currently reside.

My Interests

Lynching class enemies on the Nevsky Prospect; writing poetry (especially haikus - I spent some time in Okinawa in the mid-1950s); fishing on the Volga River in the autumn; kissing with myspace friends; crushing the White Russian counter-revolutionary pig-dogs; hamsters.

I'd like to meet:

Rosa Luxemburg: so I could slap her into a full-nelson; Bobby Fischer and Boris Spassky: so I could coerce them into leg-wrestling, then force them to makeout

Music:

Ahhh, it still brings tears to my eyes.... Ladies and gentleman, I bring you Mikhalkov and Alexandrov's "Gimn Sovetskogo Soyuza."

Movies:

Just about anything by Sergei Eisenstein; Cantinflas films; and, ironically, James Bond flicks (Tatiana Romanova... mmmmmm).

Television:

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Books:

'The Naked Ape' - Desmond Morris,'Theses on Feuerbach' and 'The Eighteenth Brumaire of Louis Bonaparte' - Karl Marx (bet you didn't see that one coming),"Roots: The Saga of an American Family" - Alex Haley (I'm a sentimentalist)

My Blog

Desde la ciudad capital, Guatemala

God, Myspace still exists?!? Hasn't Tom killed himself yet?
Posted by Vladimir Illyich Lenin on Thu, 29 May 2008 05:19:00 PST

And don't think that I've forgotten about you, Craig

It might be worth adding that Craig Forrest should feel free to chew on my left nut instead of flapping his gums about Argentinean soccer.
Posted by Vladimir Illyich Lenin on Mon, 23 Jul 2007 04:21:00 PST

Praise Argentina

I hate to say it, but, fuck, am I ever glad the Czechs didn't win the FIFA Under-20 World Cup--I watched them in the quarter-final and semi-final matches in Edmonton and they play soul-draining s...
Posted by Vladimir Illyich Lenin on Mon, 23 Jul 2007 04:07:00 PST

Gawd!

I went to the gym today and almost made myself gag with my own stink. God, how humiliating. Does anyone know how to get rid of the smell of old people?
Posted by Vladimir Illyich Lenin on Sun, 18 Feb 2007 02:47:00 PST

Best Albums of 2006

With official endorsement from the curators of the Kremlin and the street-cleaners of Red Square, it's Lenin's top ten albums of the year! 10) Thom Yorke - The Eraser9) Sean Wesley Wood & Th...
Posted by Vladimir Illyich Lenin on Sat, 09 Dec 2006 01:32:00 PST

Fuck, I'm a stupid bastard

Comrades,I tried to change my myspace background to something a little more exciting and couldn't figure out how to do it. It drives me crazy because I visit the pages of people I know to be blo...
Posted by Vladimir Illyich Lenin on Thu, 24 Aug 2006 07:36:00 PST

Companeros: Escuchen los Consumer Goods!

Revolutionary Greetings Comrades,I write to you today as a pronouncement of my admiration of my fellow myspace comrades "The Consumer Goods." I bartered a copy of their compact disc a coupl...
Posted by Vladimir Illyich Lenin on Thu, 24 Aug 2006 07:25:00 PST

Lenin's Red Army Poll

Comrades:I've designed a poll for you, my Bolshevik brethren, to fill out. Please take the time to do so.1) Name2) Age3) On a scale of 1-10, how commited to the cause of socialist worl...
Posted by Vladimir Illyich Lenin on Sun, 18 Dec 2005 08:34:00 PST

"only good on paper": Komrade Ominous

Yesterday I received a message from Komrade shane~ominous where he shared his thoughts with me. Komrade Ominous writes: "I'm not a communist. I'm really non-denominational. It's just skin and is possi...
Posted by Vladimir Illyich Lenin on Fri, 16 Dec 2005 05:09:00 PST

12 Goddam Friends

I've been on myspace for a few days and have sent invitations out to all sorts of interesting people and I only have 12 friends. I am Vladimir Illyich Lenin, Father of Socialism in Mother Russia...
Posted by Vladimir Illyich Lenin on Tue, 13 Dec 2005 07:13:00 PST